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St Louis

Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "St. Louis Chapter 7 part 1"
Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?

19 total reviews 
Comment from susand3022
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Hi Barbara, I have to say... this, I totally didn't even see coming. I hadn't even thought to consider what little sister would have been like. I have no idea why I wouldn't have thought of it... some writer I'll make! LOL

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2019
    Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate your thoughts.
Comment from barkingdog
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I appears you are building another terrific mystery. This interview scene was so well written that I could have been there. Eating added to the realism as did the internal thoughts.
Keep up the good work.
:) e

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2019
    Thank you for the kind review. I hope you stay around.
reply by barkingdog on 17-Jun-2019
    I try to stay on site, but tire easily if I'm on the computer too much. :) e
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Mac seems to be getting somewhere with Kate info. Now comes the fun time tracking down guys who had one night stands with her especially if married. LOL.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2019
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very interesting. It sounds as if Megan was a bit of a party girl and went with some men who could have caused trouble. Kate doesn't seem to have provided much specific information, but she established Megan's pattern of behavior. Interesting comments about Megan's relationship with her brother Logan. It sounds like he was just to perfect for her, so maybe her lifestyle was a way of rebelling against what was expected of her. Great work with the characterization. We wee a pretty clear picture of Megan emerging. judi

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
    Thank you for the encouragement.
reply by judiverse on 16-Jun-2019
    You're very welcome. judi
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara, this is a fine chapter and the interview/conversation came out very naturally. No Loganis not going to like it one bit. I know what you mean about editing. I do it all the time, yet I still get it wrong. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
    Thank you for understanding and the encouragement.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Excellent
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This is very well written and moves along well holding the reader's complete attention. There is something almost comforting and familiar in the manner in which the dialog is written - like you are sitting in your own kitchen participating with the characters. I saw no evidence of SPAG and thoroughly enjoyed the read. Well done and thank you for sharing it.

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 Comment Written 16-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Brenda Henderson
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very nice job. The dialogue and stage direction here is good. You drew me in and held my attention. I found myself reading it aloud. I can't wait to see the next installment. I loved your attention to detail in terms of back-story and character description. Excellent!

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was a detailed chapter. A good read. "Kate Middleton" maiden name of Prince Williams wife haha. (Duchess of Cambridge in Britain.) In Heading...McKenzie get(s) a few answers from Kate Middleton.

"Later we'll discuss what the right girl is." Ok the space showed up when I cut and paste the above I thought "girl and is" were too close but the italic made it that way.

Funny how italics make the word jam upgainst the following again in...plus years? She sipped

I had forgotten this was about Logan's sister. And about him in what Kate was saying of course.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
    Thank you for the kind review. I am changing Kate's last name. I don't follow the Royality.
Comment from royowen
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So Mackenzie goes about interviewing Kate Middleton who was Megan's friend, who knows a darn sight more than Logan knew about his young sister, he was the perfect older brother, but there may be things he not want to here about his sister in this interview. Well done Barbara,an excellent episode, blessings, Roy

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 Comment Written 16-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by royowen on 16-Jun-2019
    Most welcome