Consumption
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "From Dawn to Dusk?"A Collection of Heart Felt Poetry.
2 total reviews
Comment from Nanny 6
Your poem takes you into a dark place... Where death is not a choice in this character's life... it's just an endless dark place, your imagination as well portrayed in this poem. It's written in a way that makes you think and ponder and go back, the rhyming and poetic flavor gives a story a Poe feel.
Judy
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2019
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Your poem takes you into a dark place... Where death is not a choice in this character's life... it's just an endless dark place, your imagination as well portrayed in this poem. It's written in a way that makes you think and ponder and go back, the rhyming and poetic flavor gives a story a Poe feel.
Judy
Comment Written 15-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2019
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Reread darling.
Better now
You'll learn why.
Ricky
Comment from Janilou
A very moving piece that reads more like a poem, but I understand it is part of a book.
He seems Damned at each Dawn but at each dusk?
He knows and he must!
So, he calls out his name...
"My son, my son?"
"Where are you?"
"I so much want and need of you?"
...
So, he Ventures forth on his endless Trek...
One Rotten foot after the other...
Never will he be forgotten or never will be allow the World...
To forget...
Did you mean to capitalize these words? Examples: Ventures? Rotten? Damned? Dusk? Not sure if that's part of the style but it tended to slow me down while reading it.
All the best,
Jan
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2019
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A very moving piece that reads more like a poem, but I understand it is part of a book.
He seems Damned at each Dawn but at each dusk?
He knows and he must!
So, he calls out his name...
"My son, my son?"
"Where are you?"
"I so much want and need of you?"
...
So, he Ventures forth on his endless Trek...
One Rotten foot after the other...
Never will he be forgotten or never will be allow the World...
To forget...
Did you mean to capitalize these words? Examples: Ventures? Rotten? Damned? Dusk? Not sure if that's part of the style but it tended to slow me down while reading it.
All the best,
Jan
Comment Written 15-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2019
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Capitalization is intense for intensive words when I feel intense I just rewrote this and added basically the explanation why it's there if you have time to re-read it you'll understand and thanks dr. Ricky 1024
