Comment from Rhonda Allan

Excellent

Fabulous read. Such a unique and powerfully expressed story told in only a few words. I visualized the entire scene as I was reading. Thank you so much for sharing.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019

Thanks for reading Rhonda and for your kind review.

Comment from Rikki66

Good

When the rain is doing a pitter-patter on the roof, especially a tin roof it is calming.
A rocking chair is reminiscent of mothers arms, the heck with lightning. Good Job.
Rikki

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019

Thanks for reading.

reply by Rikki66 on 19-Jun-2019

You are most welcome.
Rikki:)

Comment from Gail Denham

Excellent

Oh my - now you've left us wondering what did happen to the old man. Did the bark get him - or was there more lightning that hit closer? Good 75 word story. Gripping.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019

Thanks for reading and your kind feedback. Wish I had more words to work with!

Comment from highlander104

Exceptional

The description in your story is realistic--how addictive the rain can become and the boom of the lightening all in 75 words or less. Your words make the picture speak. Good luck in the contest.

Jean K

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2019

Thanks Jean for reading and for your kind and generous review. I appreciate both!

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Good flash job , Bill. Very original. I would suggest a couple of things however, if I may:

I don't think you need the word "first" here at all.

"First a flash and and..."

Also, in the last line use "eyelids" instead of eyes in theway you are referring to it.

Good luck, my friend. Bob

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2019

Thanks for reading Bob and your suggestions. You know, they were both subtle, but I accepted and incorporated both! With so few words, little things matter. Warm regards, Bill

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Great opening line:

The timpani sound of rain hitting the tin roof was like a narcotic to the old man.

Kept my interest. I felt his tiredness for sure at the end as he went back to sleep amidst the storm. I could do the same.

Nicely done and good luck in the contest. John

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2019

Thanks for reading and your kind comments. I appreciate both!

Comment from Tootsie55

Exceptional

Loved the picture you chose and this is a great story. Maybe could go further, perhaps. Wishing you well in the contest is there is one. Absolutely no spags.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2019

Thanks for reading and your kind and generous review. I would love to go further. I have a book right now and the whole scene I pictured in my mind could be a new chapter when I print some more copies. Check it out www.therabbitbook.com

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

This says a LOT in a few words, bhogg. He can sleep through anything! That's how old folks are. My hubby is just like that. I sure hope the old man isn't dying. He just needs a rest. He has more years to enjoy. :)

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2019

Thanks for reading and your kind comments. I appreciate both. I'm a man of MANY words, so 75 words was a challenge. Bill

Comment from Sankey

Excellent

Well done. I enjoyed this short read. Good artwork as well. I was not sure what to expect thought the tree might have fallen on him? Checked your web site again had forgotten I ready bought your book on Kindle.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2019

Thanks for reading and special thanks for buying my book. I haven't seen the kindle version. Does it work out okay? Warm regards, Bill

reply by Sankey on 09-Jun-2019

Yeah Bill I am sticking with electronic boks as I have far too many hard copies of stuff here we are slowly going through to see what we can dispose of. Font is good on Kindle, thanks. Let you know when I get finished and review on Amazon or whatever.

reply by the author on 09-Jun-2019

Thanks!

Comment from Cindy Warren

Excellent

Poor guy. He must be in bad shape. I can't imagine going back to sleep after lightening blasted a tree forty feet away. In fact, I don't think I'd sleep for a week. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2019

Thanks for reading and your feedback. I appreciate both!