Comment from Rachelle Allen

Excellent

Perfect rhyme --no awkward "square peg in a round hold" kinds of snags-- perfect rhythm, and a message that is loving and beautiful. I couldn't love this poem more. I bet it will do SO very well in this contest. Good luck. xo

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2019

I think everyone has that memorable photo somewhere. Thanks for the review, cheers

reply by Rachelle Allen on 13-Jun-2019

I think you are absolutely right! xo

reply by the author on 13-Jun-2019

Comment from AdaJulie

Excellent

I love this....
We still stand together,
not so thin, a little greyed,
that love we shared so long ago,
in a wooden frame, displayed
So much to be said in standing together over time, congratulations on a job well done.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019

Thanks for the encouraging review Ada. I wish I could have put in the real picture. I will keep trying. Yes, we are still together after 25 years. Cheers.

Comment from djsaxon

Excellent

This is lovely lovely lovely. I think that there are commas in there that you don't really need and a tiny rhythm glitch in the last stanza.

Time ticks on relentlessly
as life slips by each day
A faded photo gathers dust
of us, that sunny day.

So young and brave (and oh so thin)
Like pioneers we pose,
That moment caught forever
In a four by six photo.

Squinting in the midday sun
(we're) smiling to (at) the sky.
Arms around each other
on that wondrous day gone by.

We still stand together,
not so thin, a little greyed.
That love we shared so long ago
(in) A wooden frame, displayed.

Humbly - DJ

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019

Thanks for the helpful and generous review. I fixed up a couple commas and that final glitch. Of course, if I could figure out how to display the real picture, my life would be complete. I submitted with a couple minutes to spare. Ha ha cheers and have a great weekend.