A Light in the Darkness
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Case Solved (or is it)"Young rookie detective is assigned a serial case
11 total reviews
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Hi Roxanna,
You have maintained momentum and intrigue in the story line for this chapter and the plot flows freely and makes sense.
Well done
Blessings
Shirley
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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Hi Roxanna,
You have maintained momentum and intrigue in the story line for this chapter and the plot flows freely and makes sense.
Well done
Blessings
Shirley
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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Thank you. I hope it continues to make sense. Sometimes I wonder. =}
Comment from Darlene BoClair
Today is a good day to read with our Summer heat. I like that you took the time to introduce your partner that has a chronic health condition. Just think, how many police officers may have MD where the department may overlook in an investigation. With in investigation, I like to continue to read about Sarah's thoughts about Rick talking to much about his wife missing. Is Rick guilty? This question keeps me reading.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Today is a good day to read with our Summer heat. I like that you took the time to introduce your partner that has a chronic health condition. Just think, how many police officers may have MD where the department may overlook in an investigation. With in investigation, I like to continue to read about Sarah's thoughts about Rick talking to much about his wife missing. Is Rick guilty? This question keeps me reading.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Thanks so much dear. It just gets scarier from here. =} Rox
Comment from JudyE
I hope I haven't reviewed this twice. I don't see how I could have.
It was a print out of all the white Dodge Rams - hyphenate 'print-out'
one hit her like a lightening bolt - a lightning bolt
He laughed when her eyes got big.- Maybe 'when her eyes widened'
I've seen three doctors, they all say the same thing. - period after 'doctors'
Since I am so young it is progressing slowly, it usually happens to people in their sixties. - period after 'slowly
You do a great job of hiding it, I'd never know - period after 'it'
We need to search his house again, let's hope it hasn't been cleaned out - period after 'again'
The warrant took about an hour to secure, meanwhile, they put a forensic team together and a few officers, and headed to Matthews - period after 'secure'
But, she had been a police officer long enough to know people didn't always react the way you thought they should to death. - maybe 'people didn't always react to death the way you thought they should'
She asked Rick to wait outside. Everyone on the team took a room, Don took the basement and Sarah took the master bedroom - period after 'room'
Cheers. Judy
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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I hope I haven't reviewed this twice. I don't see how I could have.
It was a print out of all the white Dodge Rams - hyphenate 'print-out'
one hit her like a lightening bolt - a lightning bolt
He laughed when her eyes got big.- Maybe 'when her eyes widened'
I've seen three doctors, they all say the same thing. - period after 'doctors'
Since I am so young it is progressing slowly, it usually happens to people in their sixties. - period after 'slowly
You do a great job of hiding it, I'd never know - period after 'it'
We need to search his house again, let's hope it hasn't been cleaned out - period after 'again'
The warrant took about an hour to secure, meanwhile, they put a forensic team together and a few officers, and headed to Matthews - period after 'secure'
But, she had been a police officer long enough to know people didn't always react the way you thought they should to death. - maybe 'people didn't always react to death the way you thought they should'
She asked Rick to wait outside. Everyone on the team took a room, Don took the basement and Sarah took the master bedroom - period after 'room'
Cheers. Judy
Comment Written 31-May-2019
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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Thanks so much Judy. rox
Comment from Sally Law
This is a good chapter with added personal details about the lives of the characters, mainly Detective Don Russell. I can certainly relate to his circumstances. Thank you for mentioning the plight of the blind. Your heroine, Sarah Murray, responded so kindly. The cliffhanger ending ending will draw me and your other fans back for more. I just knew something was going to be discovered in the house! Good work!
Always my best, Rox.
Sally xo
reply by the author on 29-May-2019
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This is a good chapter with added personal details about the lives of the characters, mainly Detective Don Russell. I can certainly relate to his circumstances. Thank you for mentioning the plight of the blind. Your heroine, Sarah Murray, responded so kindly. The cliffhanger ending ending will draw me and your other fans back for more. I just knew something was going to be discovered in the house! Good work!
Always my best, Rox.
Sally xo
Comment Written 29-May-2019
reply by the author on 29-May-2019
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Yes, I feel I did much better and only had two boo boos!! For me that is a miracle. =] Thanks so much Sally. Rox
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You are most welcome Rox. My pleasure. :+)
Comment from WryWriter
This is an excellent chapter that really keeps the reader glued to the "page." Your ending was a great cliff hanger! A couple of suggestions for you to consider:
Rick didn't seem the least ((bit)) upset
It was a print out of all the white Dodge Rams in Kalispell((omit,)) and surrounding counties((omit,) that had a license with the two numbers she'd asked for.
reply by the author on 29-May-2019
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This is an excellent chapter that really keeps the reader glued to the "page." Your ending was a great cliff hanger! A couple of suggestions for you to consider:
Rick didn't seem the least ((bit)) upset
It was a print out of all the white Dodge Rams in Kalispell((omit,)) and surrounding counties((omit,) that had a license with the two numbers she'd asked for.
Comment Written 29-May-2019
reply by the author on 29-May-2019
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Thanks so much, I made the changes you suggested and am happy with it, Thank you. Rox
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You're welcome! : )
Comment from royowen
Sarah finds out Don has macular degeneration, where peripheral vision deteriorates to the extent one would lose their licence to drive. But must unusual in the younger person. Sarah notices that Rick doesn't seem to be concerned regarding his missing wife, but doesn't want to over guess the situation, they get a dserfh warrant for apartment, good write Rox, blessjngs, Roy
reply by the author on 29-May-2019
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Sarah finds out Don has macular degeneration, where peripheral vision deteriorates to the extent one would lose their licence to drive. But must unusual in the younger person. Sarah notices that Rick doesn't seem to be concerned regarding his missing wife, but doesn't want to over guess the situation, they get a dserfh warrant for apartment, good write Rox, blessjngs, Roy
Comment Written 28-May-2019
reply by the author on 29-May-2019
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Thank you Roy. =}
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Blessings Rrox
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Don't try to give me faults hope [false hope]
This is great! It looks like this might have been a scheme to get rid of each other's wife and not be suspected. Then Rick drowned Ryan in the hot tub? LOL
Really? Did he think they would believe someone could drown in a hot tub? I don't believe it. Who could get that drunk?
Don has found something in Ryan's basement. Great cliffhanger, Rox. Well done! Nancy
reply by the author on 29-May-2019
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Don't try to give me faults hope [false hope]
This is great! It looks like this might have been a scheme to get rid of each other's wife and not be suspected. Then Rick drowned Ryan in the hot tub? LOL
Really? Did he think they would believe someone could drown in a hot tub? I don't believe it. Who could get that drunk?
Don has found something in Ryan's basement. Great cliffhanger, Rox. Well done! Nancy
Comment Written 28-May-2019
reply by the author on 29-May-2019
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Thanks so much Nancy.
Comment from Mistydawn
You're right Rick didn' seem to upset and to the beneficiary of their estate, it sounds fishy. He does have means, motive, opportunity but I don't think it's him. The chapter is very well-written, interesting start to finish. Your character's actions, thoughts, dialogue seems real.
reply by the author on 29-May-2019
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You're right Rick didn' seem to upset and to the beneficiary of their estate, it sounds fishy. He does have means, motive, opportunity but I don't think it's him. The chapter is very well-written, interesting start to finish. Your character's actions, thoughts, dialogue seems real.
Comment Written 28-May-2019
reply by the author on 29-May-2019
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Thank you. =}
Comment from Joy Graham
I'm new to this story, but had no trouble following along. You have good characters that are believable. My mom has macular degeneration going on so I find that fascinating.
- "Don't try to give me (faults) hope" - false
I hope I find more of this story to read as things progress.
Joy xx
reply by the author on 29-May-2019
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I'm new to this story, but had no trouble following along. You have good characters that are believable. My mom has macular degeneration going on so I find that fascinating.
- "Don't try to give me (faults) hope" - false
I hope I find more of this story to read as things progress.
Joy xx
Comment Written 28-May-2019
reply by the author on 29-May-2019
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Thank you, made the corrections, thanks. Rox
Comment from robyn corum
Rox,
Super job on this chapter. It was really well put together and definitely had interesting stuff happening the whole way. See? You've got this!
Only a couple small notes:
1.) his is reaction to finding
--> delete 'is'
2.) Don't try to give me (false) hope.
Nice work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-May-2019
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Rox,
Super job on this chapter. It was really well put together and definitely had interesting stuff happening the whole way. See? You've got this!
Only a couple small notes:
1.) his is reaction to finding
--> delete 'is'
2.) Don't try to give me (false) hope.
Nice work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-May-2019
reply by the author on 29-May-2019
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Only two?!!! I can't believe it. I am shocked, but happy. Thanks so much dear. Rox
