Comment from Gail Denham

Excellent

Well done. And has a message too. I enjoyed the combination of the horse and the "vapor of life" poem. It is the affirmation of life. How often, in the movies, we see folks lean down over a prostrate form to find out if there is breath.

 Comment Written 23-May-2019

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reply by the author on 23-May-2019

Exactly! Thanks for the read/review, Gail.

Comment from Mark D. R.

Excellent

This I my go-to genre, 5-7-5. So I like the way you were able to describe an emotion or feeling in a limited number of words and syllables. Your selected illustration is a perfect match for your verse. Your poem could be a standalone without the horse image.

Small grammatical nitpick, which does not affect my read: insert an extra space between vapor and your hyphen mark.

It may take on a different poetic view if the last line was: "December's crisp air."

Mark

 Comment Written 23-May-2019

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reply by the author on 23-May-2019

Thanks, Mark! I did add the space, much better. Thinking on the last line, nice suggestion.

Comment from Boogienights

Excellent

This is wonderfully descriptive, it makes me smell the cold fresh air. I'm not a huge fan of the cold and snow, but it holds a lot of beauty no doubt.

 Comment Written 23-May-2019

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reply by the author on 23-May-2019

Thanks, Boogie!

Comment from MsPetra

Excellent

You've done an excellent job with this 5-7-5. I counted it out. Your poem made me take a deep breath and enjoy the fresh air. Thank you for that.
Overall, well done!

 Comment Written 22-May-2019

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reply by the author on 22-May-2019

Thanks, MsPetra!

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Another fine 5-7-5 from you, Chip. I think your poetry is unique in every case. This one is indeed a great reflection on life and how something as simple as breathing is taken for granted by all of us. Bless you, Bob

 Comment Written 22-May-2019

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reply by the author on 22-May-2019

Thanks, Bob.

reply by Mastery on 22-May-2019

Welcome Chip

Comment from WryWriter

Excellent

I count 5-7-5 syllable lines. The artwork makes you shudder as you "feel" the cold air the horse expels his warm breath into. I love the way you sum this up by "affirmation of life." Great job!

 Comment Written 21-May-2019

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reply by the author on 21-May-2019

Thanks, Wry.

Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson

Excellent

This is a beautiful entry for the winter contest, my friend. I love this line:
"Breath's fleeting vapor- " so pretty! Nicely done, good luck! ~Kerry

 Comment Written 21-May-2019

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reply by the author on 21-May-2019

Thank you, Kerry!

reply by Kerry Foley Robinson on 21-May-2019

Welcome:)))

Comment from Bichon

Excellent

A fun and descriptive poem. The image really adds to the overall effect and helps visualize the winter breath more. Best of luck in the contest, I liked this entry!

 Comment Written 21-May-2019

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reply by the author on 21-May-2019

Thanks, Chloe!

Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux

Excellent

I like this. We as adults still do the breathing like children do to make that smoky impression in the air. It is indeed a sign that we're alive in the crisp cool air. I like the clever wording you use to bring forth your point. Great job and well done!

 Comment Written 21-May-2019

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reply by the author on 21-May-2019

Thank you, Jeffrey!

Comment from Richard J

Excellent

The perfect picture ... love the sunlit whiskers, too.
Your words create quite the imagery to perk one's imagination and bring the scene to life; not an easy task in 17-syllables.

An easy to read and enjoy presentation.
Thanks so much for sharing ... I wish you well in the contest! ~ Richard : )

 Comment Written 21-May-2019

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reply by the author on 21-May-2019

Thank you, Richard!