Chasing of the Wind.
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "The Resolution going to happen a"Conflict between the Human Needs and the Divinity
2 total reviews
Comment from juliaSjames
Powerful writing. Even without knowing the rest of the story I was drawn into this depiction of family life. You have a gift for bringing the characters to life through action rather than description which is the mark of a born storyteller.
Some of the dialogue is stilted. I'm guessing English may not be your native language. In any event, I suggest reading at least some of the dialogue aloud to identify the cadence and adjust as necessary.
I hope to read more chapters.
reply by the author on 18-May-2019
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Powerful writing. Even without knowing the rest of the story I was drawn into this depiction of family life. You have a gift for bringing the characters to life through action rather than description which is the mark of a born storyteller.
Some of the dialogue is stilted. I'm guessing English may not be your native language. In any event, I suggest reading at least some of the dialogue aloud to identify the cadence and adjust as necessary.
I hope to read more chapters.
Comment Written 18-May-2019
reply by the author on 18-May-2019
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Julia: Your helpful comments on dialogues are valuable. I am revisiting them. You are right about my English. My basic English education was in the British Colonial System and perhaps it has become a handicap. I would appreciate if you may point out which specific dialogue became stilted. The characters- Dr. Pascue and Frank both are Indians and educated under same conditions I received my early education therefore his speech is as bad as mine. My business English comes from my education in the US and under the circumstances, my Masters Thesis went through without much language related issues as there were no dialogues to include in that work. I use Grammarly but not sure if it is working. I appreciate your comments and any suggestions to improve will help me tremendously. Thanks. All the best.
Arun
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Arun, why not use your background to advantage?. All yyou need to do is include a veversion of what you told me at strategic points in the narrative. This will make it authentic and even more captivating.
If you haven't read them I invite you to sample the novels of VS Naipaul
Good luck with your writing
You are talented
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Julia: At the risk of sounding like a novice; I must confess that I quite did not understand the suggested revision. Should I rewrite the dialogues in passive language or use different words? Please, if you don't mind rewrite a small dialogue from my posted work so I could grasp the differences in two sets. It will help a lot. I discussed it with my daughter and she is going to read the chapter to see if she has any suggestions. She took courses in writing for media etc. Thanks for your support and encouragement.
Comment from Sandra Montanino
I like your second paragraph, "Stresses have taken the shine off his face." So nicely put! The second to the last paragraph, you wrote secrete-which I believe means to discharge. I think you meant secret. You did a nice job in your story. Good luck with your novel!
reply by the author on 18-May-2019
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I like your second paragraph, "Stresses have taken the shine off his face." So nicely put! The second to the last paragraph, you wrote secrete-which I believe means to discharge. I think you meant secret. You did a nice job in your story. Good luck with your novel!
Comment Written 18-May-2019
reply by the author on 18-May-2019
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Sandra: Thanks for your encouraging comments and generous rating. I wonder how spell check did not flag the spelling mistake. I will edit that. Your editing help is greatly appreciated. Hope you will read my works including this novel available in my portfolio. Best regards and wishes. Thanks a lot.
Arun
