Reviews from

Just another statistic.

It seems nowhere is safe

14 total reviews 
Comment from Louise Michelle
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I think you did a good job capturing this all too common problem with inner city kids. I guess it's more dangerous for them to snitch than it is to just keep quiet. Sad. Hugs, Lou

 Comment Written 20-May-2019


reply by the author on 21-May-2019
    Many thanks
Comment from BeasPeas
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A social commentary on violence in America and it will only get worse unless we decide not to tolerate it anymore. The problem is that self-discipline is non-existent and the legal system works against victims. Marilyn

 Comment Written 18-May-2019


reply by the author on 18-May-2019
    Many thanks
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
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That is always the way of it these days. Trouble is, it's not because they don't want to, in most cases it's because they are frightened. This was a really good flash fiction contest entry. Good luck. :) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 18-May-2019


reply by the author on 18-May-2019
    Many thanks
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
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What a sad portrayal of events in any/all schoolyards, Jen. You did a great job with your contest entry. The picture is perfect, too. I understand the part 'nobody saw anything.' what a sad commentary on 'me, me, me. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Jan

 Comment Written 18-May-2019


reply by the author on 18-May-2019
    Many thanks Jan.
Comment from Heather Knight
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This is so sad... even more so because it's true... How can these horrible things keep on happening?
Very well written short story. The title is very good.
Thanks so much for sharing and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 18-May-2019


reply by the author on 18-May-2019
    Many thanks Maria, much appreciated. Jen. X
Comment from WryWriter
Excellent
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What a tragic story. Hopefully not truth where no one would tell if they saw something. Children should never be targets of such horrors.

 Comment Written 18-May-2019


reply by the author on 18-May-2019
    Many thanks
Comment from Aussie
Excellent
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A moving account for flash fiction. Not so much fiction these days. Seems anyone can be stabbed or shot for no reason. I liked your 75 words, they said a lot. Well done and best wishes in the contest. XXK.

 Comment Written 18-May-2019


reply by the author on 18-May-2019
    Many thanks Aussie. Jen
Comment from Sugarray77
Excellent
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Great job, Jen, on this shortie. The language is so dramatic and has definitely described a playground accident where a crowd gathers, teachers are running, and the police arrive... the punch line is a hoot.

Melissa

 Comment Written 17-May-2019


reply by the author on 17-May-2019
    Many thanks Melissa
Comment from Alex Rosel
Excellent
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This is a pleasant read. It's never easy encapsulating a complete story in so few words. Well done with this. :)

Several boys scattered in all directions. More and more pupils gathered round screaming. - These two sentences sort of contradict themselves. Is the juxtaposition intentional?

I like the last sentence; it brings the cold of reality to the fore, and it allows the reader to form their own continuation f the story. :)

Good luck with the competition.

 Comment Written 17-May-2019


reply by the author on 17-May-2019
    Many thanks for the review. Those two sentences meant that the culprits ran away and the other pupils gathered round. Is that not clear?
reply by Alex Rosel on 18-May-2019
    It wasn't clear to me. Why not write the culprits ran away?
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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It's such a sad thing that school violence has become so prevalent these days. There is even a company selling bulletproof clothing for kids and teachers. I had to look up the emergency number - I guess you're in Europe?
Thanks for making a very important message in your flash fiction.

 Comment Written 17-May-2019


reply by the author on 17-May-2019
    Thanks a lot Helen for the review and also noticing the 112. I have changed it to 911. Jen
reply by lyenochka on 17-May-2019
    I think you could leave it as 112. It was educational for me to learn the emergency number there.