Feeling Exploited
It's my fate.22 total reviews
Comment from LisaMay
Your story is clever for being so brief. A phrase in it reminded me of a story I posted a couple of months back. You'll see what the phrase was in my story: .......Sometimes a few of us go with her, undercover, staying close by her side. We're kept in the dark about her intentions until the last moment, until she needs one of us. She keeps us around to do her dirty work.
Then one day she singles me out and I know it's my turn for some action. I've never had a chance to ask the others what happens when they're with her. They never return.
It starts when we are in the bathroom together, then we continue in her bedroom. She wants this done quickly, before leaving for work. After what happened in the bathroom, I am damp with anticipation. Holding me firmly, she guides me towards her mouth - a kiss-shaped pout.
I quickly discover I am not special at all. She dabs her scarlet lips with me, scrunches me up and throws me out. Just another used tissue.
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reply by the author on 18-May-2019
Your story is clever for being so brief. A phrase in it reminded me of a story I posted a couple of months back. You'll see what the phrase was in my story: .......Sometimes a few of us go with her, undercover, staying close by her side. We're kept in the dark about her intentions until the last moment, until she needs one of us. She keeps us around to do her dirty work.
Then one day she singles me out and I know it's my turn for some action. I've never had a chance to ask the others what happens when they're with her. They never return.
It starts when we are in the bathroom together, then we continue in her bedroom. She wants this done quickly, before leaving for work. After what happened in the bathroom, I am damp with anticipation. Holding me firmly, she guides me towards her mouth - a kiss-shaped pout.
I quickly discover I am not special at all. She dabs her scarlet lips with me, scrunches me up and throws me out. Just another used tissue.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-May-2019
reply by the author on 18-May-2019
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The narrator is really a tissue? Or is this a metaphor?
Thanks for sharing your writing and for reading mine.
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Yes, I was imagining myself as a tissue. In several of my earlier writings this year I wrote as if I, the narrator, was the subject... such as a lost ski mitten, a paintbrush etc. I think it confuses people because they assume the narrator is always human. For instance in my recent posting about The Lady of the House, some reviewers assume the cat is separate to the lady, but they are both the same character that the narrator is talking about.
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It's fun to have different narrators, human and non-human.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
LOL!! LOL!! That was brilliant!! I wasn't sure what to expect at the end, but one thing I am sure of, it wasn't the moans of a handbag! lol, that is so clever! Well done, my friend, and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
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reply by the author on 18-May-2019
LOL!! LOL!! That was brilliant!! I wasn't sure what to expect at the end, but one thing I am sure of, it wasn't the moans of a handbag! lol, that is so clever! Well done, my friend, and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
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Comment Written 17-May-2019
reply by the author on 18-May-2019
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Thanks so much for reading, Sandra. xxx