Scene at a Set Building
Pons and Ned help build a set for a play.17 total reviews
Comment from susand3022
Oh, Bill! Another weird and wacky Ned and Pons story! I love these guys!You've really found yourself a goldmine in these characters I think. You could do anything with them! Ned and Pons visit Washington! Can you imagine them in a White House tour? (you have to go through 5 checkpoints to get in) I wonder what they'd think of that? ;)
reply by the author on 21-May-2019
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Oh, Bill! Another weird and wacky Ned and Pons story! I love these guys!You've really found yourself a goldmine in these characters I think. You could do anything with them! Ned and Pons visit Washington! Can you imagine them in a White House tour? (you have to go through 5 checkpoints to get in) I wonder what they'd think of that? ;)
Comment Written 20-May-2019
reply by the author on 21-May-2019
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I?ll have to check that out. Thanks.
Comment from TheStoryMan
Ned is a real character. He always makes me laugh. He's not real bright but that's okay, he means well. This was an interesting scene. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 17-May-2019
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Ned is a real character. He always makes me laugh. He's not real bright but that's okay, he means well. This was an interesting scene. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 17-May-2019
reply by the author on 17-May-2019
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Thanks
Comment from Coco Jane
Ned's language is nicely ignorant! I like the word mixups.
Identifying Red as Ned's cousin should be done at the beginning in a cast list rather than in the stage directions when Red first appears.
I got lost at the ending. Does this play just repeat and repeat? Is it just Ned's dream? Why do Pons's pants fall down? What did I miss?
Overall, funny play.
reply by the author on 16-May-2019
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Ned's language is nicely ignorant! I like the word mixups.
Identifying Red as Ned's cousin should be done at the beginning in a cast list rather than in the stage directions when Red first appears.
I got lost at the ending. Does this play just repeat and repeat? Is it just Ned's dream? Why do Pons's pants fall down? What did I miss?
Overall, funny play.
Comment Written 16-May-2019
reply by the author on 16-May-2019
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Thanks
Comment from Dawn Munro
Hahaha! --> "Well, it's improved a (mite)." Funny line, Bill.
LOL = enter Red, and his comment to Ned.
I think I'm lost. I'll have to back up a bit... Nope. Still nada. "Me loose" was the start of my confusion, although I'm confident Ned is referring to Pons's use of the word "milieus"...
I liked the "furry squeal" too, and oddly enough, I just wrote a poem using midway metaphors... (*grin*)
reply by the author on 16-May-2019
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Hahaha! --> "Well, it's improved a (mite)." Funny line, Bill.
LOL = enter Red, and his comment to Ned.
I think I'm lost. I'll have to back up a bit... Nope. Still nada. "Me loose" was the start of my confusion, although I'm confident Ned is referring to Pons's use of the word "milieus"...
I liked the "furry squeal" too, and oddly enough, I just wrote a poem using midway metaphors... (*grin*)
Comment Written 16-May-2019
reply by the author on 16-May-2019
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I ?mite? have to fix that.
Ned is often confused. ?Me loose? is what he hears as a plural of milieux and then he falls off completely.
Thanks for pointing these things out.
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I ?mite? have to fix that.
Ned is often confused. ?Me loose? is what he hears as a plural of milieux and then he falls off completely.
Thanks for pointing these things out.
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It could just be me, Bill -- what are you hearing from others?
Comment from djsaxon
I really wouldn't want these guys building my set LOL. (I was a set designer in another life). I struggle just a little with the shift between "hee haw" dumb and PONS using a word like eclectic. typo - at all takes the space. Very funny write - DJ
reply by the author on 16-May-2019
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I really wouldn't want these guys building my set LOL. (I was a set designer in another life). I struggle just a little with the shift between "hee haw" dumb and PONS using a word like eclectic. typo - at all takes the space. Very funny write - DJ
Comment Written 16-May-2019
reply by the author on 16-May-2019
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Readers often confuse Ned and Pons? characters. Pons is an average person who would know the word ?eclectic?. Ned is dumber than dirt.
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Readers often confuse Ned and Pons? characters. Pons is an average person who would know the word ?eclectic?. Ned is dumber than dirt.
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OK. My average friends wouldn't know eclectic from clay. Maybe I should upgrade. DJ
Comment from nomi338
Wait, what? Man, talk about freaky circuses. This was a freaky story. I am not sure I read what I read. It was kind of like watching a story take place that was taking place while I was reading about it taking place and my mind is now completely blown.
reply by the author on 15-May-2019
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Wait, what? Man, talk about freaky circuses. This was a freaky story. I am not sure I read what I read. It was kind of like watching a story take place that was taking place while I was reading about it taking place and my mind is now completely blown.
Comment Written 15-May-2019
reply by the author on 15-May-2019
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Thanks, nomi, for the read.
Comment from Gail Denham
Most interesting I got a bit lost (but the characters did too I guess) at the last part. However, most creative and good story. It was well described and the dialog was good as the speakers each spoke differently.
Nice job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-May-2019
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Most interesting I got a bit lost (but the characters did too I guess) at the last part. However, most creative and good story. It was well described and the dialog was good as the speakers each spoke differently.
Nice job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-May-2019
reply by the author on 15-May-2019
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Thanks
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Okay - so I absolutely positively LOVE this one, Sir Bill!! ;) ;) I had no idea and then.... well, as Ned would say, I shoulda knowed! :) :) Thanx for the smile and uplift to the tired spirit this afternoon, sir! :) :) Best of luck to you in the competition! :) Yvette
reply by the author on 14-May-2019
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Okay - so I absolutely positively LOVE this one, Sir Bill!! ;) ;) I had no idea and then.... well, as Ned would say, I shoulda knowed! :) :) Thanx for the smile and uplift to the tired spirit this afternoon, sir! :) :) Best of luck to you in the competition! :) Yvette
Comment Written 14-May-2019
reply by the author on 14-May-2019
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Thank you, Yvette, for the terrific review. Bill
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I loved this one, a wonderful long one, too. Poor Ned, he is so sweet in his innocence, and I like the way Pons is alway defending him when someone says something cruel to him. Not that he notices. This was a great script, they were a part of the play all along, that was clever!! Well done, I do so like those boys. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 14-May-2019
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I loved this one, a wonderful long one, too. Poor Ned, he is so sweet in his innocence, and I like the way Pons is alway defending him when someone says something cruel to him. Not that he notices. This was a great script, they were a part of the play all along, that was clever!! Well done, I do so like those boys. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 14-May-2019
reply by the author on 14-May-2019
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Thank you, Sandra, for the positive and kind review. Bill
Comment from Loren .
What an unexpected, surprise ending! An observation play regarding life in progress. Short, but sweet. Intentional to the author, but clueless to the reader. I say reader here, otherwise the surprise would not be such to the audience. That is, unless, the audience were part of the cast as well. Best of luck in the contest, Bill. By the way, I enjoyed the much of the innocent humor expressed, especially by Ned. Loren
reply by the author on 14-May-2019
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What an unexpected, surprise ending! An observation play regarding life in progress. Short, but sweet. Intentional to the author, but clueless to the reader. I say reader here, otherwise the surprise would not be such to the audience. That is, unless, the audience were part of the cast as well. Best of luck in the contest, Bill. By the way, I enjoyed the much of the innocent humor expressed, especially by Ned. Loren
Comment Written 14-May-2019
reply by the author on 14-May-2019
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Thank you, Fulton, for the positive review. Bill
