Fragmentation
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Travels"Modern Poetry
13 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
STANDING OVATION! This is one of my favorites of yours for a number of reasons:
1) the substance and message
2) the delivery with finesse in phrasing and every word carrying weight--tight and polished
3) the IMAGERY
4) the standout lines
5) the FLOW
These lines are a big WOW:
We find ourselves here,
There, everywhere.
And nowhere.
Superb brevity in this showing-not-telling, essay-in-few-words line:
Webmail is gathering.
WOW, WOW, WOW:
We take a deep breath
And look out of the window.
Thank God the world is disappearing
Into cloud and ocean.
There is still time for daydreaming.
And fine medley of S sounds read aloud here:
Silence in the walls
Of Shinto shrines
Stars studding the skies of the outback
Like castaways
WONDERFUL WORK!
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 14-May-2019
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STANDING OVATION! This is one of my favorites of yours for a number of reasons:
1) the substance and message
2) the delivery with finesse in phrasing and every word carrying weight--tight and polished
3) the IMAGERY
4) the standout lines
5) the FLOW
These lines are a big WOW:
We find ourselves here,
There, everywhere.
And nowhere.
Superb brevity in this showing-not-telling, essay-in-few-words line:
Webmail is gathering.
WOW, WOW, WOW:
We take a deep breath
And look out of the window.
Thank God the world is disappearing
Into cloud and ocean.
There is still time for daydreaming.
And fine medley of S sounds read aloud here:
Silence in the walls
Of Shinto shrines
Stars studding the skies of the outback
Like castaways
WONDERFUL WORK!
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 11-May-2019
reply by the author on 14-May-2019
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It's always great to hear from you, and your shared love for this kind of poetry. Your review was like a poem in and of itself, and I found it very encouraging. I look forward to reading so many more of yours as well! estory
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Yay! Thanks for your gracious response!
Warmly, rd
Comment from susand3022
Hi Estory, what a different perspective on postcards. It's fun to see where people go and to get postcards when they go on vacation... I know people who get postcards of the places that they go and make collages of them when they get home for their walls!
One of the things that I think is fun these days, is webcams. Lots of places have their own webcams and you can visit them online. I know you can go to the Sistine Chapel online and see it as if you were there... sort of... there are also webcams set up at loads of zoos and sanctuaries around the world. I'm sure there are loads of others. Vacation from home if you can't afford to leave. None of them cost a cent. :)
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reply by the author on 14-May-2019
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Hi Estory, what a different perspective on postcards. It's fun to see where people go and to get postcards when they go on vacation... I know people who get postcards of the places that they go and make collages of them when they get home for their walls!
One of the things that I think is fun these days, is webcams. Lots of places have their own webcams and you can visit them online. I know you can go to the Sistine Chapel online and see it as if you were there... sort of... there are also webcams set up at loads of zoos and sanctuaries around the world. I'm sure there are loads of others. Vacation from home if you can't afford to leave. None of them cost a cent. :)
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Comment Written 11-May-2019
reply by the author on 14-May-2019
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Thanks so much for your review of this poem and for your interesting perspective on this journey in space and time estory
Comment from Ms. Snyder
Wow, e-story at this moment in time, I absolutely agree with you. I need to daydream a little or I feel like there is not an ounce of bliss. Where is that freedom of December/January? Where is the joy? Travel and escape are no longer what I have, I have deadlines and stress and the webmail and the never-ending fear of not getting it done. You said it right in your author notes, "an imperfect experience of life" I loved this three-part version of your free verse and where you took me for a few moments in time. Thank you. Except for part three, I may read it again. LOL just to accelerate my day dreams. Cheers, Fonda
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reply by the author on 14-May-2019
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Wow, e-story at this moment in time, I absolutely agree with you. I need to daydream a little or I feel like there is not an ounce of bliss. Where is that freedom of December/January? Where is the joy? Travel and escape are no longer what I have, I have deadlines and stress and the webmail and the never-ending fear of not getting it done. You said it right in your author notes, "an imperfect experience of life" I loved this three-part version of your free verse and where you took me for a few moments in time. Thank you. Except for part three, I may read it again. LOL just to accelerate my day dreams. Cheers, Fonda
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-May-2019
reply by the author on 14-May-2019
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and for all your interesting comments supporting this poem. Glad you enjoyed this journey in space and time and found it so uplifting. very encouraging to get responses like this estory
