Jake's Tavern
How good luck can turn bad.34 total reviews
Comment from Janilou
What a fabulous story. Your twist at the end took me by surprise. I loved it, although I did feel so sorry for the narrator.
Great flash fiction story here and I think you have a great chance of winning the contest with this one. When I read the word bourbon, I wondered if it should be Bourbon. Looking it up on the internet, I think perhaps it should be.
All the best,
Jan
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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What a fabulous story. Your twist at the end took me by surprise. I loved it, although I did feel so sorry for the narrator.
Great flash fiction story here and I think you have a great chance of winning the contest with this one. When I read the word bourbon, I wondered if it should be Bourbon. Looking it up on the internet, I think perhaps it should be.
All the best,
Jan
Comment Written 24-May-2019
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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Thank you and I?ll make that edit. Thank you for the 6 stars!!!
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
That's definately good luck turned bad. I guess if you've won that kind of money, then you'd be in a mood to celebrate. I personally wouldn't have celebrated in such a manner since I don't drink anyway. This went bad real fast and was very unfortunate. I enjoyed reading this well written flash fiction. Great job and well done!
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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That's definately good luck turned bad. I guess if you've won that kind of money, then you'd be in a mood to celebrate. I personally wouldn't have celebrated in such a manner since I don't drink anyway. This went bad real fast and was very unfortunate. I enjoyed reading this well written flash fiction. Great job and well done!
Comment Written 24-May-2019
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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Thank you
Comment from pome lover
In other words "you is daid." wow, I didnt see that coming but have to say when you said a "buddy" offered to drive you home I wondered.
That's a good story, and a good lesson to anybody lucky enough to win the lottery. I've been cursing publisher's clearing house for years when they say you don't have to buy anything to win. POOBAH!
At any rate, good flash fiction and good luck in the contest.
pome lover
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reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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In other words "you is daid." wow, I didnt see that coming but have to say when you said a "buddy" offered to drive you home I wondered.
That's a good story, and a good lesson to anybody lucky enough to win the lottery. I've been cursing publisher's clearing house for years when they say you don't have to buy anything to win. POOBAH!
At any rate, good flash fiction and good luck in the contest.
pome lover
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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Thank you.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
This is a great offering for the contest, Lance -- love the idea and the setting! :) ;) I've included some grammatical catches below... thanx for sharing and best of luck, sir! ;) ;)
glasses getting --> glasses, getting
to me coming --> to my coming
In my case one --> In my case, one
drink draining it --> drink, draining it
looked over at Jake and held --> look over at Jake and hold
ago I stopped --> ago, I stopped
gas and the credit --> gas, and the credit
pay and that's where --> pay, and that's where
here on this very barstool watching --> here, on this very bar stool, watching
TV westerns I've been --> TV westerns, I've been
words and $450 later I checked --> words, and, $450 later I checked,
partying I was in no shape to drive so a --> partying, I was in no shape to drive, so a
lot and after two blocks he pulled --> lot, and, after two blocks, he pulled
him and that's when --> him, and that's when
I laid in the dark --> I lay in the dark
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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This is a great offering for the contest, Lance -- love the idea and the setting! :) ;) I've included some grammatical catches below... thanx for sharing and best of luck, sir! ;) ;)
glasses getting --> glasses, getting
to me coming --> to my coming
In my case one --> In my case, one
drink draining it --> drink, draining it
looked over at Jake and held --> look over at Jake and hold
ago I stopped --> ago, I stopped
gas and the credit --> gas, and the credit
pay and that's where --> pay, and that's where
here on this very barstool watching --> here, on this very bar stool, watching
TV westerns I've been --> TV westerns, I've been
words and $450 later I checked --> words, and, $450 later I checked,
partying I was in no shape to drive so a --> partying, I was in no shape to drive, so a
lot and after two blocks he pulled --> lot, and, after two blocks, he pulled
him and that's when --> him, and that's when
I laid in the dark --> I lay in the dark
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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Thanks for all the detail comments.
