The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 59 "A Night to Remember"A Novel
28 total reviews
Comment from djsaxon
Yet another strong write, Tony. I would expect no less. This time we cop some rumpy pumpy. "Not just yet, (you impetuous man). It is my second skin. I should feel naked without it." Lose the stuff in brackets. Helen simply would not say that. Similarly, "You have had a busy few days, haven't you, (my poor man?). Just one man's opinion. Otherwise, the attention to detail is awesome, and rarely gets in the way of the through line - Cheers - DJ
reply by the author on 11-May-2019
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Yet another strong write, Tony. I would expect no less. This time we cop some rumpy pumpy. "Not just yet, (you impetuous man). It is my second skin. I should feel naked without it." Lose the stuff in brackets. Helen simply would not say that. Similarly, "You have had a busy few days, haven't you, (my poor man?). Just one man's opinion. Otherwise, the attention to detail is awesome, and rarely gets in the way of the through line - Cheers - DJ
Comment Written 10-May-2019
reply by the author on 11-May-2019
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Thanks, DJ. I appreciate your suggestions. I made a few changes to it this morning, shifting the emphasis more on the emotional and less on the physical. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Tony;
> I think I would've embellished the sentence right at the end where you write, "Yes, a long time." I would up the ante and put, "Yes, a very long time. Just to point out the sarcastic reverie to the fact that, what DID Charles GET himself into?
>Are you having fun yet, Tony? Because if you just sitting back and pleasantly pouring out your expertise here, I don't mind because I'm getting a heck of a lot of entertainment and pure educated knowledge of writing.
> Thanks a lot Tony take care and have a good one.
Alx
PS: I really do believe that Helen is just totally in love with Charles but she also leaves the playing field open, because she is bi.. And I just think Charles is in the back of his mind that was used still swing the other way if they are really tightly together. At least I would, because the possibility presents itself quite easily.
> Good job Tony I skimmed through looking for punctuation another things in everything is in order to the liking of not changing any of the grammar. Again have a good one.
reply by the author on 11-May-2019
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Cheers, Tony;
> I think I would've embellished the sentence right at the end where you write, "Yes, a long time." I would up the ante and put, "Yes, a very long time. Just to point out the sarcastic reverie to the fact that, what DID Charles GET himself into?
>Are you having fun yet, Tony? Because if you just sitting back and pleasantly pouring out your expertise here, I don't mind because I'm getting a heck of a lot of entertainment and pure educated knowledge of writing.
> Thanks a lot Tony take care and have a good one.
Alx
PS: I really do believe that Helen is just totally in love with Charles but she also leaves the playing field open, because she is bi.. And I just think Charles is in the back of his mind that was used still swing the other way if they are really tightly together. At least I would, because the possibility presents itself quite easily.
> Good job Tony I skimmed through looking for punctuation another things in everything is in order to the liking of not changing any of the grammar. Again have a good one.
Comment Written 10-May-2019
reply by the author on 11-May-2019
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Thanks for your suggestions, Alx, and for the sixth star. I made a few changes to it this morning, shifting the emphasis more on the emotional and less on the physical. Best wishes, Tony.
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That would be excellent idea and I look at it that way and yes, stressing the emotional, just a tad more, will bring Charles's feelings of trusting Helen, be made a little bit more clearer, besides other things, also could become clear but not giving away the story. But I see what you mean. That's an excellent idea.
> Take care and have a good one Tony.
Alx
Comment from royowen
Well done with this episode, ans writing tastefully about the awkward bits. Both your main characters display a firm sophistication in the ways of the flesh, and the knowledge learnt by walking in the sleazy ways of the world, well done Tony, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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Well done with this episode, ans writing tastefully about the awkward bits. Both your main characters display a firm sophistication in the ways of the flesh, and the knowledge learnt by walking in the sleazy ways of the world, well done Tony, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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Thanks, Roy. I value your comments on this, as I am always ambivalent about writing explicit material. On the whole, I think that what goes on behind closed doors is better left to the imagination.
Best wishes, Tony
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That's true
Comment from estory
You seem to be steering this into a James Bond type of story, with that steamy sex scene told in lascivious detail, the passion gripping them together. But then Charles seems to spill all the beans with Helen, telling her about his involvement in the secret service, trying to sniff out the terrorists and drug dealers, telling Helen about Kayla's cocaine habit, and her involvement in the whole thing. I don't know if I'd have been so loose lipped. is he playing Helen or is Helen playing him? We'll have to find out in the next chapter...estory
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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You seem to be steering this into a James Bond type of story, with that steamy sex scene told in lascivious detail, the passion gripping them together. But then Charles seems to spill all the beans with Helen, telling her about his involvement in the secret service, trying to sniff out the terrorists and drug dealers, telling Helen about Kayla's cocaine habit, and her involvement in the whole thing. I don't know if I'd have been so loose lipped. is he playing Helen or is Helen playing him? We'll have to find out in the next chapter...estory
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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Thanks for your comments on this chapter, estory. Perhaps Charles has been unwise in the heat of the moment. Pillow talk is usually dangerous.
All the best, Tony
Comment from LIJ Red
The old saying "He was a brave man who first ate a raw oyster." Never got closer than oyster stew with a few baked canned ones added and the clear fluid replaced with condensed milk...not much for mountain or prairie (pig or bovine testes) "oysters" either...and the story rumbles onward... excellent chapter.
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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The old saying "He was a brave man who first ate a raw oyster." Never got closer than oyster stew with a few baked canned ones added and the clear fluid replaced with condensed milk...not much for mountain or prairie (pig or bovine testes) "oysters" either...and the story rumbles onward... excellent chapter.
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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I tend to agree with you about oysters. Not my food of choice. But they fulfilled a purpose here. Charles and Helen seemed to enjoy them.
All the best, Tony
Comment from Sally Law
Thanks for leaving something to the imagination, Mr, Tony. This was so well written. Your class permeates everything you write. I never find fault with you and your chapters always deliver. I don't think Helen deserves Charles, but she does have good taste in men. I'll give her that. Staying tuned!
Sal :+)
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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Thanks for leaving something to the imagination, Mr, Tony. This was so well written. Your class permeates everything you write. I never find fault with you and your chapters always deliver. I don't think Helen deserves Charles, but she does have good taste in men. I'll give her that. Staying tuned!
Sal :+)
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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Thanks, Sally. I value your comments on this, as I am always ambivalent about writing explicit material. On the whole, I think that what goes on behind closed doors is better left to the imagination.
Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Mastery
Super opening hook for this chapter, Tony.
"... Helen reappeared, a dish of oysters in hand, and dressed only in a seductive smile and my white shirt, the tail of which hung negligently around the bare skin of her thigh. (Excellent imagery)
LOL And alright, Tony! You wrote this lovemaking very well, my friend:
"Then, reaching down into the dampness between us, she guided my rising tumescence and arched up against me, gripping my shoulders and sinking her nails into my flesh as I bore down into her, matching her passion with my own until, with a sharp gasp, she wrapped her legs around me, drawing the last drops of my being into her body, uniting us as one. (It would have been better if you just called it your "erection" though.
I do not know why it seems difficult for some writers to describe sex in plain terms, but they do. As long as it isn't filth, you will be fine and people expect realism, my friend. I have used sex scenes time and again in my books and penned just right I never got one single complaint.
This was a super chapter, including the realistic banter between Helen and Charles. Bravo! wish I had some sixes left. Bob
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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Super opening hook for this chapter, Tony.
"... Helen reappeared, a dish of oysters in hand, and dressed only in a seductive smile and my white shirt, the tail of which hung negligently around the bare skin of her thigh. (Excellent imagery)
LOL And alright, Tony! You wrote this lovemaking very well, my friend:
"Then, reaching down into the dampness between us, she guided my rising tumescence and arched up against me, gripping my shoulders and sinking her nails into my flesh as I bore down into her, matching her passion with my own until, with a sharp gasp, she wrapped her legs around me, drawing the last drops of my being into her body, uniting us as one. (It would have been better if you just called it your "erection" though.
I do not know why it seems difficult for some writers to describe sex in plain terms, but they do. As long as it isn't filth, you will be fine and people expect realism, my friend. I have used sex scenes time and again in my books and penned just right I never got one single complaint.
This was a super chapter, including the realistic banter between Helen and Charles. Bravo! wish I had some sixes left. Bob
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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Thanks, Bob. I value your comments on this, as I am always ambivalent about writing explicit material. On the whole, I think that what goes on behind closed doors is better left to the imagination. As always, I appreciate your support. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from damommy
I can help but think Charles shouldn't have told Helen everything, despite her seductive ways. She seemed surprised that he knew so much. That could be because she's the right side, or because she's on the wrong side, and he just told her things she didn't/shouldn't know.
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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I can help but think Charles shouldn't have told Helen everything, despite her seductive ways. She seemed surprised that he knew so much. That could be because she's the right side, or because she's on the wrong side, and he just told her things she didn't/shouldn't know.
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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You?re right, he?s taking a risk. I hope he doesn?t regret it.
Comment from Pantygynt
Sex is a tough thing to write about. And the written word on the subject is a tough subject on which to pass judgement. I am not sure whether this is a candidate for the prize for good or bad. Certainly there was no cutting to the sea breaking on a sandy shore here we got the lot X rated. A brave attempt and I hope it gets the credit it deserves. How's that for sitting on the fence?
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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Sex is a tough thing to write about. And the written word on the subject is a tough subject on which to pass judgement. I am not sure whether this is a candidate for the prize for good or bad. Certainly there was no cutting to the sea breaking on a sandy shore here we got the lot X rated. A brave attempt and I hope it gets the credit it deserves. How's that for sitting on the fence?
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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Thanks, Jim. I value your comments on this, as I am always ambivalent about writing explicit material. On the whole, I think that what goes on behind closed doors is better left to the imagination.
All the best, Tony
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is another wonderful chapter. I enjoyed reading and am wondering if Charles should have told Helen everything. I'm worried she can't be 100% trusted. Maybe she can, but what if not.....
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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This is another wonderful chapter. I enjoyed reading and am wondering if Charles should have told Helen everything. I'm worried she can't be 100% trusted. Maybe she can, but what if not.....
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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Thanks, Barbara. You?re right, he?s taking a risk. I hope he doesn?t regret it.
