A Child...
A Mothers Day wish From 18 Year-Old me (long ago)34 total reviews
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
A child find's riches and sought after dreams, tenderly residing only at mother at home, she tries to experience outside but she never; well said, well done. Write to inspire, readable for years -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 11-May-2019
  |
A child find's riches and sought after dreams, tenderly residing only at mother at home, she tries to experience outside but she never; well said, well done. Write to inspire, readable for years -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 11-May-2019
reply by the author on 11-May-2019
-
Thank you for the review, Dr! I appreciate your time!
Comment from Coco Jane
Touching poem.
Consider changing "they have none" to "they've none" to make the meter fit better.
Consider changing "sought after" to "long-sought" to make the meter fit better.
I especially like "yearn for hopeful years."
reply by the author on 11-May-2019
|
Touching poem.
Consider changing "they have none" to "they've none" to make the meter fit better.
Consider changing "sought after" to "long-sought" to make the meter fit better.
I especially like "yearn for hopeful years."
Comment Written 11-May-2019
reply by the author on 11-May-2019
-
Fixed, thanks for the advice, and for the review!
Comment from susand3022
Such lovely thoughts to Mothers everywhere who have been there for us whenever we have needed them and have, more importantly, taught us to be there for our children just the way they were there for us. :) Nicely done :)
reply by the author on 11-May-2019
|
Such lovely thoughts to Mothers everywhere who have been there for us whenever we have needed them and have, more importantly, taught us to be there for our children just the way they were there for us. :) Nicely done :)
Comment Written 11-May-2019
reply by the author on 11-May-2019
-
Wonderful remarks, thanks for your thoughtful review!
Rhonda
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, a lovely write in tribute to your mother, and though written in your youth, those same feelings undoubtedly exist today. The rhyming rhythm is smooth and presents well - I would change only one thing in this beautiful homage. Replace the word "hopeless" in line 6 of the poem, to "hopeful." You should then see that the line makes more sense - but I have no other suggestions. The poem is beautiful...
reply by the author on 10-May-2019
|
In my opinion, a lovely write in tribute to your mother, and though written in your youth, those same feelings undoubtedly exist today. The rhyming rhythm is smooth and presents well - I would change only one thing in this beautiful homage. Replace the word "hopeless" in line 6 of the poem, to "hopeful." You should then see that the line makes more sense - but I have no other suggestions. The poem is beautiful...
Comment Written 10-May-2019
reply by the author on 10-May-2019
-
Thank you so much for the comments. I?ll think on the change as I wrote it when I was 18, and I hate to alter it, but it was, afterall, written by me...
-
You are indeed welcome. That's entirely up to you, of course, but "hopeless" is incorrect usage in the line - that is the only reason I offered my suggestion - it's strictly a vocabulary issue, hence grammar - whatever you decide, you are absolutely right - it is your write after all. The poem is still beautiful, regardless...Eve
-
I changed it. You were right, it sounded much better. I figure since I wrote it..,
-
I'm so glad, Rhonda - that was the only anomaly in an exquisite poem, regardless of when it was written...Eve
-
Thank you, Eve. We?re all here to support one another!
-
You are very welcome, Rhonda, and I agree completely...Eve
Comment from Lance S. Loria
What a beautiful treasure to discover. I can still feel the emotion expressed forty years ago. Thanks fir sharing. No edits or adjustments necessary.
reply by the author on 10-May-2019
|
What a beautiful treasure to discover. I can still feel the emotion expressed forty years ago. Thanks fir sharing. No edits or adjustments necessary.
Comment Written 10-May-2019
reply by the author on 10-May-2019
-
Thank you, Lance. What a kind and supportive review. I?m just amazed my mother held onto it all these years!
Comment from Beri Bee
Wow! You wrote this at 18? Or, you wrote it now as if you were 18? Either way, it's amazing! Everything you wrote is so true. The world can be so hard and disappointing. I'm glad you had your mama's welcoming embrace!
reply by the author on 10-May-2019
|
Wow! You wrote this at 18? Or, you wrote it now as if you were 18? Either way, it's amazing! Everything you wrote is so true. The world can be so hard and disappointing. I'm glad you had your mama's welcoming embrace!
Comment Written 10-May-2019
reply by the author on 10-May-2019
-
Thank you so much for taking time to review!
Yes, I wrote it when I was 18, so very long ago, but the strange thing is, it?s almost something an adult daughter would write at this time in their life. So prophetic. It gave me chills when I read it.
-
It seems very prophetic! Chills here too!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice photograph and
presentation, Rhonda.
-I am sure you have heard that you
look just like your mother; it's uncanny.
-I appreciate your notes, too.
-I find it amazing that you
wrote this at 18 years of age.
-It is beautifully written and so
full of wisdom, beginning
with the first line.
-Much of what you said then can
still apply today for some young
people, like the one about friends.
-The concluding lines and your note
show how much you loved your
mother, and still do, I am sure.
-She would be proud that you
shared this and the photograph.
-I have no six stars left, but this
deserves far more than that.
-Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
|
-Very nice photograph and
presentation, Rhonda.
-I am sure you have heard that you
look just like your mother; it's uncanny.
-I appreciate your notes, too.
-I find it amazing that you
wrote this at 18 years of age.
-It is beautifully written and so
full of wisdom, beginning
with the first line.
-Much of what you said then can
still apply today for some young
people, like the one about friends.
-The concluding lines and your note
show how much you loved your
mother, and still do, I am sure.
-She would be proud that you
shared this and the photograph.
-I have no six stars left, but this
deserves far more than that.
-Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
-
Thank you for your review, Pam. I was lucky to happen across it among all the other items my sister and I have had to sort through. It was like a gift back to me.
Yes, my mother and I always looked more like sisters than mother and daughter, even to the end.
Thanks for the virtual six!! I will certainly take it!!
Hugs,
Rhonda
-
You are very welcome, Rhonda. You were very lucky to have come across it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh so true, a mother's love is unconditional and pure. I don't think there's anything that can equal it. You were a good poet at 18. Thank you for sharing this poem with us.
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
|
Oh so true, a mother's love is unconditional and pure. I don't think there's anything that can equal it. You were a good poet at 18. Thank you for sharing this poem with us.
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
-
Thank you, Barbara. Lol, my style hasn?t changed much over the years!
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda,
A child can learn and growth under the umbrella of a mother's love.
"She finds life's riches and sought after dreams, tenderly residing there."
I love your eighteen-year-old self's excellent mono-rhyme poem.
"A child can lean on the shoulders of Mankind and find that strength is rare."
Pretty insightful for a "teenager." Some still haven't learned that lesson.
Beautiful photograph, with a "strong" family resemblance.
Talented, through and through.
Well done
You get my last six.
Robert
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
 |
Hello Rhonda,
A child can learn and growth under the umbrella of a mother's love.
"She finds life's riches and sought after dreams, tenderly residing there."
I love your eighteen-year-old self's excellent mono-rhyme poem.
"A child can lean on the shoulders of Mankind and find that strength is rare."
Pretty insightful for a "teenager." Some still haven't learned that lesson.
Beautiful photograph, with a "strong" family resemblance.
Talented, through and through.
Well done
You get my last six.
Robert
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
-
Thank you for the six! I don?t have any left myself. I think we need more than six, lol!
Thank you, as well, for the comments! As I was saying to another reviewer, my style hasn?t changed much over the years!
I was surprised at the insightful part as well. It was almost as though I had written it recently, because it fit our relationship so well.
Yes, my mother and I looked very much alike. People in the nursing home remarked on it all the time. My daughter looks just like us, too!
Thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from misscookie
Happy Mothers Day to you
Looking at the photo you look like sisters
Both very attractive women
It's nice when you find treasures such as this giving to your mother years ago
Stay on praying ground
Cookie
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
|
Happy Mothers Day to you
Looking at the photo you look like sisters
Both very attractive women
It's nice when you find treasures such as this giving to your mother years ago
Stay on praying ground
Cookie
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
-
Thank you, Cookie!! My mother would love your nickname as her maiden name was Cook.
I appreciate your review!!
-
Hey, hey Hey (smile)
Cookie
