St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "St. Louis Chapter 4 part 3"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
18 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
This is a sweet chapters. Things sound so normal in this. Mac and Logan share a meal, and watch a baseball game with the dogs. That sounds like typical dogs, jockeying for position. I'm sure this is just a quiet interlude before there's more trouble. Logan is certainly making himself at home. Excellent characterization. judi
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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This is a sweet chapters. Things sound so normal in this. Mac and Logan share a meal, and watch a baseball game with the dogs. That sounds like typical dogs, jockeying for position. I'm sure this is just a quiet interlude before there's more trouble. Logan is certainly making himself at home. Excellent characterization. judi
Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
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You're welcome. I think you have a great story going. judi
Comment from 24chas
Great chapter, Barbara. I like that Logan really is a gentleman and you can really sense his feelings are becoming stronger for Mac. And I think hers are too towards him. A really natural chapter as far as the action and the dialogue. Well done.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Great chapter, Barbara. I like that Logan really is a gentleman and you can really sense his feelings are becoming stronger for Mac. And I think hers are too towards him. A really natural chapter as far as the action and the dialogue. Well done.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from SLMorrical
First what a cute picture. When Mac started to question Logan about asking if Jose could keep her safe, I thought she was going to address that he was showing affection for her. This chapter shows more of the relationship that is forming between Mac and Logan. I think it's cute how Logan is trying to convince the dogs he is a good guy, and won't hurt Mac. This is a great edition to the story. This flows well it is an easy read to follow. I like that you presented more of the developing relationship, but not a lot. I like how you are writing this relationship as it develops. It is obvious the two of them are attracted to each other, and it is good to see the relationship development is more realistic and more relevant to many readers. Well done. I look forward to the next post.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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First what a cute picture. When Mac started to question Logan about asking if Jose could keep her safe, I thought she was going to address that he was showing affection for her. This chapter shows more of the relationship that is forming between Mac and Logan. I think it's cute how Logan is trying to convince the dogs he is a good guy, and won't hurt Mac. This is a great edition to the story. This flows well it is an easy read to follow. I like that you presented more of the developing relationship, but not a lot. I like how you are writing this relationship as it develops. It is obvious the two of them are attracted to each other, and it is good to see the relationship development is more realistic and more relevant to many readers. Well done. I look forward to the next post.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Ben Colder
Looks like that dog can handle things. My daughter has two just like the one in the photo on her ranch and nobody comes close unless given permission. The story is light toward a walk in the park of romance. LOL.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Looks like that dog can handle things. My daughter has two just like the one in the photo on her ranch and nobody comes close unless given permission. The story is light toward a walk in the park of romance. LOL.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the kind review. I'm sure your daughter is well protected.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Nice chapter, I liked the dog competition on who sits next to her. It reminded me of mine. Didn't see anything to recommend, as usual. Great job. Shirley
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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Nice chapter, I liked the dog competition on who sits next to her. It reminded me of mine. Didn't see anything to recommend, as usual. Great job. Shirley
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Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Chris McCloskey
I'm looking forward to the next installment. I like all the characters and find them believable (even the dogs!). Also, I have a premonition of danger that needs to be identified.
My concern is with the extended families. Logan and McKenzie are seven years apart, so they didn't share school events growing up, and it sounds as though their families didn't socialize. Unless this becomes relevant in the future, I think a mention of "I remember my dad mention your dad's name" could be enough to ground both families in St. Louis. As well, I think a child will sleep through being carried to bed, but not an adult, even a petite adult. I'd be satisfied with Logan's intentions if he merely covered McKinzie and left her on the couch with her guardians.
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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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I'm looking forward to the next installment. I like all the characters and find them believable (even the dogs!). Also, I have a premonition of danger that needs to be identified.
My concern is with the extended families. Logan and McKenzie are seven years apart, so they didn't share school events growing up, and it sounds as though their families didn't socialize. Unless this becomes relevant in the future, I think a mention of "I remember my dad mention your dad's name" could be enough to ground both families in St. Louis. As well, I think a child will sleep through being carried to bed, but not an adult, even a petite adult. I'd be satisfied with Logan's intentions if he merely covered McKinzie and left her on the couch with her guardians.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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I will consider your suggestions. I am hoping, at least in my mind, to make connections. Thank you.
Comment from Ulla
Ahh, Barbara, this is such a sweet chapter. Logan really cares about her doesn't he? It's well written, and the dogs play a role as well. Yeah,I liked it a lot. Now, what's next? All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Ahh, Barbara, this is such a sweet chapter. Logan really cares about her doesn't he? It's well written, and the dogs play a role as well. Yeah,I liked it a lot. Now, what's next? All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the kind review. Next??? I think it's about time Mac get the test results back. Was she really drugged???
Comment from royowen
So Logan is falling for Mack, he put her to bed, and told the dogs they were on point duty, to look after their mistress. A great breather of an episode to get a "feel" of the plot, and looking to a developing relationship, a tough guy PI and an special ops army guy, great liaison, well done, Barbara, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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So Logan is falling for Mack, he put her to bed, and told the dogs they were on point duty, to look after their mistress. A great breather of an episode to get a "feel" of the plot, and looking to a developing relationship, a tough guy PI and an special ops army guy, great liaison, well done, Barbara, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Most welcome
