Joy Ride for One
Unfamiliar Wedding Traditions41 total reviews
Comment from Gypsymooncat
I guess a lot of grooms face their wedding day with fear and trepidation lol! As they say, weddings and funerals bring the best and worst out in those attending, and from the look of the photo with your poem, that's definitely right. I enjoyed your poem, for structure, wording, presentation and also that nice, uplifting tone it carried all the way through. Good luck!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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I guess a lot of grooms face their wedding day with fear and trepidation lol! As they say, weddings and funerals bring the best and worst out in those attending, and from the look of the photo with your poem, that's definitely right. I enjoyed your poem, for structure, wording, presentation and also that nice, uplifting tone it carried all the way through. Good luck!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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Thank you, Gypsymooncat; this is such a nice review.
And, yes, his expression is priceless, is it not!!
Comment from Coco Jane
A fun look at the wedding tradition. The title makes it even more fun!
The contrast between bride and groom highlights the contrast of this inter-faith marriage.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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A fun look at the wedding tradition. The title makes it even more fun!
The contrast between bride and groom highlights the contrast of this inter-faith marriage.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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Ohhhh yeah, Coco Jane! You hit the nail RIGHT on the head!! thanks for the fun review.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
This is very interesting. I'm not familiar with many different wedding traditions except one. This is a very unusual and unique one. I wonder what they would do if both parties are on the extra healthy side and they don't have enough available lifters. I guess that probably never happens though. Just a thought. I enjoyed this informative and well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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This is very interesting. I'm not familiar with many different wedding traditions except one. This is a very unusual and unique one. I wonder what they would do if both parties are on the extra healthy side and they don't have enough available lifters. I guess that probably never happens though. Just a thought. I enjoyed this informative and well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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That could be funny, would it, Jeffrey? Eight lifters per chair??! Hahaha. I've never personally seen it, but that sure doesn't mean SOMEONE hasn't!!
Thanks for a great, fun review.
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, a delightful read and almost perfect rhyming rhythm, with just a couple of spots of uneven cadence, easily resolved by reading the write aloud several times, and perhaps deleting a word or two, for a smoother flow. Otherwise, the poem appears to comply with the prompt. Best of luck in the contest...
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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In my opinion, a delightful read and almost perfect rhyming rhythm, with just a couple of spots of uneven cadence, easily resolved by reading the write aloud several times, and perhaps deleting a word or two, for a smoother flow. Otherwise, the poem appears to comply with the prompt. Best of luck in the contest...
Comment Written 27-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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Thanks, Evesayshi. Come on, please don't make me guess!! Help me out here, Woman! What needs editing here?!
Thanks for the very nice review. I appreciate it.
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This is how I attract hostility - explaining myself - remember now, you asked. You will note that I begin my reviews with "In my opinion," because my reviews are just that. And, not everyone shares my opinion - please, remember that as well.
Here goes, again remember, this is strictly to smooth the rhyming rhythm, nothing else;
1. This journey was strange to you,
2. ( I'm pretty sure you screamed
"OY")
1. You white-knuckled the back of
your chair -
etc., just a couple of examples of my "opinion"...Eve
From an expert, which I am not:
"3. Listen to your rhythm. (Or have someone listen to it.) Edward Hirsch, author of A Poet's Glossary, was quoted in an article, describing what rhythm does to poetry:
"The sense of flowing, which is so crucial to song, is also crucial to poetry. But when poetry separates from song, then the words have to carry all the rhythm themselves, they have to do all the work. One of the things that distinguishes poetry from ordinary speech is that in a very few number of words, poetry captures some kind of deep feelings, and rhythm is the way to get there. Rhythm is the way the poetry carries itself."
To apply rhythm, you need utter the lines, speak them up and read them inside as well. If something is out of tune, if there is an excess syllable, if a line does not fit the rest of the poem, change them.
Or ask someone to read it for you or read it to a friend. Be open to criticism, to suggestions or feedback."
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Thank you very much for this feedback. I honestly do appreciate it. xo
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You are so welcome, and thank you for your gracious response...Eve
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xo
Comment from royowen
Just loved the photo, and the mixed look of horror and curious insecurity on the groom's face, vety different indeed, I'm glad in sense I never married a Jew,. Although I've always loved the Jews for some mystical reason, perhaps because God does. Great entry in abcb rhyming, and varied meter fo effect, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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Just loved the photo, and the mixed look of horror and curious insecurity on the groom's face, vety different indeed, I'm glad in sense I never married a Jew,. Although I've always loved the Jews for some mystical reason, perhaps because God does. Great entry in abcb rhyming, and varied meter fo effect, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 27-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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Thank you, Roy. I really liked this review a lot.
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Well done
Comment from Mastery
LOL It all shows to go you...Women are more gutsy thn men in some ways. Such a great picture and memory, you have here, Author. How long do the Bride and Groom stay up there before they can come down? Just curious.
A fun poem and it should do well in the contest. Bob
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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LOL It all shows to go you...Women are more gutsy thn men in some ways. Such a great picture and memory, you have here, Author. How long do the Bride and Groom stay up there before they can come down? Just curious.
A fun poem and it should do well in the contest. Bob
Comment Written 27-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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Until the Hora music stops because while the bride and broom are up there, there's a circle dance -everyone joining hands and doing steps in a circle- around them. And it's a VERY long dance!! So my poor husband was tortured a good, long time!!
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Mystery Writer!
Your well-crafted poem brought a smile to my face as I imagined your wedding reception and the look of astonishment on the face of your groom! How wonderful. And fifteen years? Even more wonderful.
Your poem flows well and does, indeed, share a beautiful memory...
Best Wishes!
diane
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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Hello Mystery Writer!
Your well-crafted poem brought a smile to my face as I imagined your wedding reception and the look of astonishment on the face of your groom! How wonderful. And fifteen years? Even more wonderful.
Your poem flows well and does, indeed, share a beautiful memory...
Best Wishes!
diane
Comment Written 27-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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Thank you, Mrs. KT. As a poet extraordinaire, your thumbs-up means the world!
Comment from DeborahWrite
Dear Author, This is a great contest entry! "Joy Ride for One" is a wonderful cultural example of a memory! I enjoyed your candid writing and clear thoughts.
My best,
Deborah
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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Dear Author, This is a great contest entry! "Joy Ride for One" is a wonderful cultural example of a memory! I enjoyed your candid writing and clear thoughts.
My best,
Deborah
Comment Written 27-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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Thank you, Deborah. My husband's comment was, "Well, at least SOMETHING good came out of my nightmare!" hahaha.
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I enjoyed your reply and your husband's comment as well!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I take it that is not you and your husband perched on the chairs? I think it must be fun and terrifying at the same time. You met this contest entry very well, the words capture the couple on the chairs perfectly. Is it you? Well done and good luck! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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I take it that is not you and your husband perched on the chairs? I think it must be fun and terrifying at the same time. You met this contest entry very well, the words capture the couple on the chairs perfectly. Is it you? Well done and good luck! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 27-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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That IS my husband and me perched on those chairs! And he can still get that terrified look whenever we even TALK about that experience!! It scarred him for life!
Thank you for your nice review and helpful feedback.
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LOL. the poor man, he must love you loads!!
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Well, he does now that he's back safe on the ground, Sandra...
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LOL!! Bless him!! xx
Comment from Machel
I love this! Especially the opening line.
Palest of pink, my wedding dress,
your suit, the blackest of blacks
So descriptive in a sweet and feminine way. It really drew me in. I laughed at the image of your groom white chuckling the chair as it is being hoisted in the air. Lol This is a great memory and you shared it well.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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I love this! Especially the opening line.
Palest of pink, my wedding dress,
your suit, the blackest of blacks
So descriptive in a sweet and feminine way. It really drew me in. I laughed at the image of your groom white chuckling the chair as it is being hoisted in the air. Lol This is a great memory and you shared it well.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
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Thank you, I really like this review.
