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Time changes life.63 total reviews
Comment from Tootie
I enjoyed reading your poem here. I love the 2nd line in the last stanza! This flowed well, was creative and such a sad ending. The emotions came through the words - well done! Wishing you the best in the contest. Blessings, Cathy
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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I enjoyed reading your poem here. I love the 2nd line in the last stanza! This flowed well, was creative and such a sad ending. The emotions came through the words - well done! Wishing you the best in the contest. Blessings, Cathy
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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Thank you, Cathy, for all that you noticed and mentioned. I appreciate it all.
Comment from 24chas
This was really a beautiful write, mystery writer. I love the way the life in the house was described and the palpable quiet and sadness at the end. Great job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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This was really a beautiful write, mystery writer. I love the way the life in the house was described and the palpable quiet and sadness at the end. Great job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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Thank you, 24chas! As one of the best writers on this site, your saying that means so much.
Comment from Tina Crute
I think you accomplished a lot in this poem. First, you have an interesting rhyme scheme, which gave this a fun flair, with the repetition of sounds and words in the last two lines of each stanza. You also described many common activities that the house has seen, that we can all relate to. You illustrate well the change in pace over many years, and change in the activity level. This is a well composed, dense and satisfying poem that I will remember. I probably would have used green for the background , as it might pull the picture and words together more, but, honestly, you don't even need the picture. Your words clearly paint us a picture, or a video even!
Great!
Blessings,
Tina
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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I think you accomplished a lot in this poem. First, you have an interesting rhyme scheme, which gave this a fun flair, with the repetition of sounds and words in the last two lines of each stanza. You also described many common activities that the house has seen, that we can all relate to. You illustrate well the change in pace over many years, and change in the activity level. This is a well composed, dense and satisfying poem that I will remember. I probably would have used green for the background , as it might pull the picture and words together more, but, honestly, you don't even need the picture. Your words clearly paint us a picture, or a video even!
Great!
Blessings,
Tina
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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This is SUCH a nice review, Tina. I completely appreciate all your helpful, encouraging words here.
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You are welcome! You packed a lot into this very meaningful poem. Good luck!
Comment from Wabigoon
Really effective. I am not sure you need...the...deafening quiet, just deafening quite. Thanks, enjoyed it a whole lot to get to 150 characters.
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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Really effective. I am not sure you need...the...deafening quiet, just deafening quite. Thanks, enjoyed it a whole lot to get to 150 characters.
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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Thanks.
Comment from royowen
I must agree with that premise. A house has life when someone lives there. But when they die, even a brew house takes on the appearance of lifelessness. Well done, great writing, a great analogy contained in its narrative, I like the repeated rhyme, and the form, well done,good luck, blessjngs, Roy
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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I must agree with that premise. A house has life when someone lives there. But when they die, even a brew house takes on the appearance of lifelessness. Well done, great writing, a great analogy contained in its narrative, I like the repeated rhyme, and the form, well done,good luck, blessjngs, Roy
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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This is such a nice review. Thank you for all the encouragement and help about what 'worked' here.
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Well done
Comment from Raul1
It was good that the house had life of its own, but sad when it took all apart with nothing at all. There is no life there anymore. So sad. I like this poem. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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It was good that the house had life of its own, but sad when it took all apart with nothing at all. There is no life there anymore. So sad. I like this poem. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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I'm glad to read this. Thank you.
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You're welcome
Comment from trimple
Good evening, Mystery writer.
I'm sure that I've read this poem before, here on the site. There's a writer here who lost his wife and wrote something almost exactly the same. That was a few years ago now. If it isn't the same poem, You too have a superb way with words, my friend. :)
Sad, joyful, poignant, and above all, heartfelt.
I wish you luck, whoever you are.
much love
trimple
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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Good evening, Mystery writer.
I'm sure that I've read this poem before, here on the site. There's a writer here who lost his wife and wrote something almost exactly the same. That was a few years ago now. If it isn't the same poem, You too have a superb way with words, my friend. :)
Sad, joyful, poignant, and above all, heartfelt.
I wish you luck, whoever you are.
much love
trimple
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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I assure you it is original. I wrote it this afternoon and never saw the other one. I'm glad you liked it.
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It's superb! One of the better poems, I've read.
Comment from Holly Buss
I love this poem. It truly expresses the feeling of grief and it paints a good picture. The emotions it talks about before and after the death of this person are deep and true. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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I love this poem. It truly expresses the feeling of grief and it paints a good picture. The emotions it talks about before and after the death of this person are deep and true. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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I just love this review, Holly. Thank you. You've made my night.
Comment from James W. Reynolds
Nice work. I like how the poem begins with a light-hearted breezy tone.
The rhythm is smooth almost to the sad conclusion. The off-rhyme at the end is off-putting and effective. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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Nice work. I like how the poem begins with a light-hearted breezy tone.
The rhythm is smooth almost to the sad conclusion. The off-rhyme at the end is off-putting and effective. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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Thank you for mentioning the different cadence at the end, James, and that you felt it was effective. Since their life had changed, I thought a different rhythm was called for, too. I so appreciate that you noticed that.
Comment from Sandra Elizabeth Williams
Beautiful poem, but a sad story. The house in picture and the colour you selected add to the sadness, and effective for the story.
I like your poem, notwithstanding and wish you the very best in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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Beautiful poem, but a sad story. The house in picture and the colour you selected add to the sadness, and effective for the story.
I like your poem, notwithstanding and wish you the very best in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2019
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I appreciate the way you could accept that the story is sad yet still think it's a good poem. That can be a fine line to walk, so thank you for the validation. I do appreciate it.
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You're very welcome!
