Mostly
Time changes life.63 total reviews
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Rachelle Allen, a poem of time and the circle of life. Of special note:
There were gated stairs
and potty chairs,
grimy doors
and muddy floors
and life
and, sure, sometimes strife
but mostly life.
(Sounds like my house. I'm on round two with my grandchildren. I don't think that I'll ever have one of those museum or sterile-like homes.)
This is a poem that many can/will relate to. Well-chosen artwork choice. A pleasure to read. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Hello Rachelle Allen, a poem of time and the circle of life. Of special note:
There were gated stairs
and potty chairs,
grimy doors
and muddy floors
and life
and, sure, sometimes strife
but mostly life.
(Sounds like my house. I'm on round two with my grandchildren. I don't think that I'll ever have one of those museum or sterile-like homes.)
This is a poem that many can/will relate to. Well-chosen artwork choice. A pleasure to read. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 25-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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What a nice review this is, LateBloomer. I appreciate your words, including the ones about your house not being museum-like or sterile (that's GOOD thing). Thank you for this boost to my day. xo
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Hello Rachelle, Welcome to FS. I've just come across your writing. I've been on FS for many years, but have not been that active during the last couple of years. First, I had been ill, and now my grandchildren keep me very, very busy on a daily basis. My daughter is working from home today; thus, I have some free time for FS...just sharing. Smiles, LateBloomer
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Well, I'm so happy to meet you! And I'm glad you're back on FS today. I hope we stay in touch. xo
Comment from Colin John
Hi Rachelle, just catching up with you! (as if) lol. Well this is a beauty, sad but still has good poetry and sequence of lines to make it just plain straight forward to read and understand. Great job. Kind regards Colin X
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Hi Rachelle, just catching up with you! (as if) lol. Well this is a beauty, sad but still has good poetry and sequence of lines to make it just plain straight forward to read and understand. Great job. Kind regards Colin X
Comment Written 25-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Thank you, Colin. Your words warmed me up so nicely this afternoon. xo
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Why is it cold there lol. Evening here, time to catch up with young friends. Enjoy your day xx
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haha. Well, actually, it IS cold here!!
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I have to tell you that I thought this was superb. it speaks a truth and is very poignant indeed. it reminds me of a country song 'Dirty dishes' (Scotty McCreery).
Lovely flow and bittersweet feeling.
GMG
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Hi there,
I have to tell you that I thought this was superb. it speaks a truth and is very poignant indeed. it reminds me of a country song 'Dirty dishes' (Scotty McCreery).
Lovely flow and bittersweet feeling.
GMG
Comment Written 25-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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This review means the world to me, GMG. I'll check out the song, but if it makes me cry to the point where I have to re-apply my mascara this close to when I have to leave the house for afternoon piano lessons, you're in BIG trouble. xo
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It's a bit more uplifting...
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Yep. I just listened to it. That's quite the compliment you bestowed. Thank you, GMG. You've made my day. xo
Comment from kiwijenny
Oh my this gets a six star rating from me...I love the thought of personifying a house...deafening quiet....worst kind of quiet..but mostly life...my favorite line
Well penned and polished
God bless
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Oh my this gets a six star rating from me...I love the thought of personifying a house...deafening quiet....worst kind of quiet..but mostly life...my favorite line
Well penned and polished
God bless
Comment Written 25-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Thank you, Kiwijenny!! This is a lovely review that I appreciate very much. xo
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Your use of the word "quiet" at the end of this marvelous piece, is done so well, with such depth, that I can see why you won the contest, hands down. I love the artwork of the house in question. The title, "Mostly" and the line above it, adds much flavor to the significance of this poem. I like the repetitive phrases, and the clever uses, of "strife" and "life." My favorite stanza is the last one. In your explanation of the reason why,"(Will I ever catch my breath?)" the solidity to this unfolds and lays bare, with the excellent last lines, "and the deafening quiet." A heavy message to ponder. Thanks for sharing.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Your use of the word "quiet" at the end of this marvelous piece, is done so well, with such depth, that I can see why you won the contest, hands down. I love the artwork of the house in question. The title, "Mostly" and the line above it, adds much flavor to the significance of this poem. I like the repetitive phrases, and the clever uses, of "strife" and "life." My favorite stanza is the last one. In your explanation of the reason why,"(Will I ever catch my breath?)" the solidity to this unfolds and lays bare, with the excellent last lines, "and the deafening quiet." A heavy message to ponder. Thanks for sharing.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 25-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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What a dynamite review! Thank you, Jesse, for the time and thought that went into all these encouraging words. I couldn't appreciate them more. xo
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Hi Rachelle
You are very welcome. It is nice to be appreciated for a good review. Enjoy your Thursday.
Jesse
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Just for the record, Jesse, I don't mind the less-than-good reviews, though. I appreciate helpful feedback from reviewers who have my back and want me to improve as a writer, so I hope you'll feel free to offer up that kind of advice, too. I'll still value your input every bit as much. xo
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Thank you. I'll keep that in mind. For the record, I was being honest in my review.
Jesse
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I do appreciate that, Jesse, and I trust that. I just wanted to that 'out there' that your candor and honesty is also welcomed by me. xo
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Duly noted.
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: )
Comment from DeborahWrite
Dear Author,
Your excellent poem captivated me. Your gift is so evident in your moving words and thought-provoking verses. I held my breath as I read it to the end and shook my head in its greatness!
My best,
Deborah
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Dear Author,
Your excellent poem captivated me. Your gift is so evident in your moving words and thought-provoking verses. I held my breath as I read it to the end and shook my head in its greatness!
My best,
Deborah
Comment Written 25-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Well, my goodness! Do you ever know how to make an aspiring writer feel great, or WHAT?! Thank you, Deborah, for this encouraging review. xo
Comment from l.raven
Hi Rachelle, I love your poem...I drive down the road...and always wonder what went on in old homes....the holidays...very well written...and CONGRATULATIONS on a well deserved win...love your picture...love you...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Hi Rachelle, I love your poem...I drive down the road...and always wonder what went on in old homes....the holidays...very well written...and CONGRATULATIONS on a well deserved win...love your picture...love you...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 24-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Thank you, Linda! I feel the same way about old houses I see throughout the day. I appreciate your kind congratulations. xo
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you are so welcome Rachelle...love xxoo
Comment from Michele Harber
Wow, ouch, OMG. This is amazing and powerful and joyous and sad and everything in between. The repetitions and the parenthetical comments add so much strength to an already strong poem. I enjoyed the somewhat unusual construction of the poem and, of course, your rhymes all worked wonderfully. Congratulations on a very well-deserved win!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Wow, ouch, OMG. This is amazing and powerful and joyous and sad and everything in between. The repetitions and the parenthetical comments add so much strength to an already strong poem. I enjoyed the somewhat unusual construction of the poem and, of course, your rhymes all worked wonderfully. Congratulations on a very well-deserved win!
Comment Written 24-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Thank you very much FSBFF!! I appreciate these words from you and your warm congratulations, as well. xo
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You're so very welcome and, as we've already established, you know the words are true.
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Exactly. I knew you're hear that between my words. xo
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Who, moi??
Comment from Mame
Truly inspiring! Strange how old houses still seem to contain another life- as if they breathe. Terrific description of how it once contained such life. I wonder if 'this house' might have more rhythm if we said 'this old house'- just a suggestion . Perfect match of house and verse.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Truly inspiring! Strange how old houses still seem to contain another life- as if they breathe. Terrific description of how it once contained such life. I wonder if 'this house' might have more rhythm if we said 'this old house'- just a suggestion . Perfect match of house and verse.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
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Thanks, Mame, for your warm and gracious review. I appreciate it very much. xo
Comment from Coco Jane
Powerful, relatable, and very sad.
I especially like "deafening quiet" and the unanswered question of who had died.
Consider removing the parentheses in the last stanza. The line deserves to be "spoken" and not "whispered." Just a thought.
Great work.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019
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Powerful, relatable, and very sad.
I especially like "deafening quiet" and the unanswered question of who had died.
Consider removing the parentheses in the last stanza. The line deserves to be "spoken" and not "whispered." Just a thought.
Great work.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019
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Thank you, Jane, for this wonderful review. I always appreciate your feedback. xo
