Comment from Six-Star Writer

Excellent

I like the nuance of light fragmentation in thus poem. This seems to be a throughline with much of your works: a focus on the bits and pieces, the nuts and bolts that make up bigger elements of the whole. When interviewed, an expatriate living in Japan, said that this seems to be the approach of many Japanese poets. Just an interesting aside.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019

Thanks for the excellent review and your interesting comments about my work. I haven't actually had much experience with Japanese poetry. I studied English poetry from the seventeenth century through the romantics, so that gave me a great background on the forms and history of the art form. When I found Yeats, I knew I found a great mentor. I still think he was one of the greatest poets to ever write in English. Heaney became another great influence; the fractured language, still within the quatrain form. Off rhyme. the use of movement as a rhythm of language. Then I discovered Denise Levertov and the beauty of free form free verse. After that, Jack Anderson, and the contemporary music of prose poetry. It has been an amazing journey. Read Patterns. Especially the last few poems. estory

Comment from TPAC

Excellent

An informative read, depicting self experiences with glass, like the thought, reflections of images yielding portals to viewed insights.
Suggest: Gestures and poses,
seemed so, if found appropriate for this write. All in my opinion.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2019

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reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your perspective on the poem, glad you found it moving and challenging. estory

Comment from Bicpen

Excellent

Excellent ... it has motion with reverberating word use and articulate images which are abstract but meaningful. The poem reaches a strange mix of almost other worldliness and modern present day with an ease of patience. Its a nice piece a good read.

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2019

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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your wonderful, encouraging comments supporting the poem. I'm glad the writing seemed to resonate so well and came to be so meaningful for you, and I like this feeling of otherworldliness and modern present day. I was after a surreal, impressionistic, abstract expressionist feel. estory

reply by Bicpen on 24-Apr-2019

I think you were probably there on that point it was a good read and well constructed ...

Comment from susand3022

Excellent

Hi Estory, This was something totally new for me to read. I enjoyed the abstract feeling of the poem. I could picture it in my mind, going from one place to the other, seeing it in a Picasso sort of way. I love having a new vision. :)

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2019

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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019

Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your vote of confidence in this different sort of a poem. It is very surreal, very abstract, something dream like, visionary. I'm glad it seemed to have worked so well, maybe I am on the write track! estory

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi estory, I've squandered my sixes and I now wish I had one for you. Your words and imagery is like a impressionist painting. I love it. The images flows and at a pace. I especially liked the III: wonderful imagery and movement. All best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2019

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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019

Thanks so much for the excellent review and for all your encouraging words supporting the poem, and for giving me that specific stanza as a reference. Always useful. estory

Comment from Janice Canerdy

Excellent

This piece is very thought-provoking and appealing. The images that stand out most vividly to me are those depicting nature and the scenes
from the life of Jesus.

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2019

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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019

Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your wonderful comments supporting the poem; glad you got something of a religious experience out of it, I wanted to work in an upbeat, transfigurative feeling in the surreal images. estory

Comment from Heather Knight

Excellent

I like this poem very much. It's full of beautiful images. Enchanting.
This is one I love:
I watched the moon
Balanced on the church steeple
I also like the short lines.
Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2019

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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019

Thanks for the excellent review and for your specific reference to that image. It is one of my favorite ones from the poem as well. I got it from walking around the town where I grew up one night, and seeing a full moon just above the church steeple there. estory

Comment from Cybertron1986

Excellent

I enjoyed embracing the descriptive and vivid expressions here that was easy to picture. Many parts of your piece had me reflecting of moments when I attended church as a child and gazing at the stained glass pictures inside. Spot on and well done

 Comment Written 22-Apr-2019

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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019

Thanks so much for the excellent review and I'm glad the poem had some personal significance for you, connecting you to a treasured moment, an experience from the past. estory

Comment from Donka Kristeva

Excellent

This poem carries well its title; its seeming scattered words don't necessarily connect with each other, but it is a smooth read and quite fascinating with many different images and (part of) events

 Comment Written 22-Apr-2019

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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019

Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your perspective on the poem. I think I was after an effect of scattered images that seem unrelated, but seen together, paint a picture of an experience of life, a surreal impression of that experience. estory

Comment from Raul1

Excellent

This person went everywhere around the world. I think your character had a great adventure all across the globe. I think he or she discovered new things. I think. Nice story. Well structured. Thanks for sharing!

 Comment Written 22-Apr-2019

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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019

Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your perspective on the poem. it is after all, a poem and not a story. But poems tell stories in a way, through the imagery, the music of the language. estory

reply by Raul1 on 24-Apr-2019

You're welcome.