Umatilla
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Umatilla"Life in a small town
10 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Brett, I think this is the best writing off your pen I've seen as yet. it's very well written, very well told and the imagery is wonderful. I was there, and I could just picture it all. I'm looking forward to reading on. Great story. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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Hi Brett, I think this is the best writing off your pen I've seen as yet. it's very well written, very well told and the imagery is wonderful. I was there, and I could just picture it all. I'm looking forward to reading on. Great story. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this little posting. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Sandra Elizabeth Williams
You are quite the storyteller, Brett. This is a lively narrative with excellent expressions and natural flow.
I have not seen anything that requires correcting at all. I quite enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2019
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You are quite the storyteller, Brett. This is a lively narrative with excellent expressions and natural flow.
I have not seen anything that requires correcting at all. I quite enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this little posting. Appreciate your review.
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You're most welcome.
Comment from Teresa Alford
You have caught my interest. Your story definitely builds on itself, which is a sure way to capture and hold the Reader's interest. I look forward to the story as it continues! Teresa. ";-)
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2019
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You have caught my interest. Your story definitely builds on itself, which is a sure way to capture and hold the Reader's interest. I look forward to the story as it continues! Teresa. ";-)
Comment Written 20-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this little posting. Appreciate your review.
Comment from LaFrance
This is an excellent intro to a small town lifestyle. I am curious who came to town, it sounds like trouble from the past. Your characters dialect and dialogue was fun reading.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2019
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This is an excellent intro to a small town lifestyle. I am curious who came to town, it sounds like trouble from the past. Your characters dialect and dialogue was fun reading.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this little posting. Appreciate your review.
Comment from Sankey
Hey, the SIXES came back just in time! A great read and I look forward to more of this. What is this? smell her unwithered cow chips?? her Udders or what?
Edgar Allen Poe's (")The Raven("), I have done another ramble have a look, fortunately, you had not been before I did the first edit.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019
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Hey, the SIXES came back just in time! A great read and I look forward to more of this. What is this? smell her unwithered cow chips?? her Udders or what?
Edgar Allen Poe's (")The Raven("), I have done another ramble have a look, fortunately, you had not been before I did the first edit.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Appreciate the catch and the review.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Could it be his long lost daddy? I ask because of the line,
"But he was very real. I'd found myself face down over his knee a time or two before." Now why would a motorcycle rider cause a big stir? Evidently he stirred up things in this small town. Sounds interesting. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Could it be his long lost daddy? I ask because of the line,
"But he was very real. I'd found myself face down over his knee a time or two before." Now why would a motorcycle rider cause a big stir? Evidently he stirred up things in this small town. Sounds interesting. Nancy:)
Comment Written 19-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Thanks for your insight into this character's relationship to the narrator. Glad you enjoyed this little tale. Much appreciate the review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Your chapter was active and had strong characters. The dialogue was excellent also. You did a good job and I can't wait to read more to find out what happends next. Shirley
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Your chapter was active and had strong characters. The dialogue was excellent also. You did a good job and I can't wait to read more to find out what happends next. Shirley
Comment Written 19-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale. Much appreciate the review.
Comment from Gail Denham
Ok then - telling the tale of a real-live western town. For sure. I love the "senior" lady chasing the cow - and it all moved smoothly. Only one blemish stopped me (minor ) when the Harley roared up to the courthouse, you prob. should identify "he hopped off" - by saying "the driver hopped off" - otherwise it's the Harley doing the action.
Good writing - I can see why you've won in several contest.
Held my interest. Sounds like part of a book.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Ok then - telling the tale of a real-live western town. For sure. I love the "senior" lady chasing the cow - and it all moved smoothly. Only one blemish stopped me (minor ) when the Harley roared up to the courthouse, you prob. should identify "he hopped off" - by saying "the driver hopped off" - otherwise it's the Harley doing the action.
Good writing - I can see why you've won in several contest.
Held my interest. Sounds like part of a book.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this little posting. Appreciate your comments and the review.
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it really is a good story.
Comment from damommy
You've hook me. Eager to read more of this. I like the narrator sounding so homey. Reminiscent of Garrison Keillor. I love the image of Bettie Johnson and Daisy Mae's trip down through town.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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You've hook me. Eager to read more of this. I like the narrator sounding so homey. Reminiscent of Garrison Keillor. I love the image of Bettie Johnson and Daisy Mae's trip down through town.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this little story. Appreciate your comments and the review.
Comment from 24chas
This is a great introduction, Brett. You really whet my appetite to hear more of what's going to happen. I liked the narration style. It was down home, but also from an observer of life. Great job.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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This is a great introduction, Brett. You really whet my appetite to hear more of what's going to happen. I liked the narration style. It was down home, but also from an observer of life. Great job.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this little story. Appreciate the review.
