What do you say?
wrapped refrain style 1 for potlatch12 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Sometimes when you're troubled you just have to talk to an old friend, and sometimes, as an old friend, you only need to be there for them, to listen. That's what I get from your well written wrapped refrain about an emotional subject. Well done Red,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019
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Sometimes when you're troubled you just have to talk to an old friend, and sometimes, as an old friend, you only need to be there for them, to listen. That's what I get from your well written wrapped refrain about an emotional subject. Well done Red,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 24-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019
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It nettles me that I am generally tonguetied when it comes to comforting the sick and bereaved...thanks for reading and reviewing my wrapped refrain...
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This could be a metaphor for an abusive relationship. The monster fled but left its seeds. But then by the end of the poem he or she has returned. The victim is a little mouse and cannot speak or stand up for herself. This is an all too common situation where a friend has to listen powerless to someone tell of how bad the situation is. Or this could be literal and read as it is written. I've learned our writing is ours until we share it then the reader project their pain into it. I worked with abuse victims for over 30 years so that where my thoughts go. O like thinking of this as a tragic metaphor and cautionary tale. Well written.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2019
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This could be a metaphor for an abusive relationship. The monster fled but left its seeds. But then by the end of the poem he or she has returned. The victim is a little mouse and cannot speak or stand up for herself. This is an all too common situation where a friend has to listen powerless to someone tell of how bad the situation is. Or this could be literal and read as it is written. I've learned our writing is ours until we share it then the reader project their pain into it. I worked with abuse victims for over 30 years so that where my thoughts go. O like thinking of this as a tragic metaphor and cautionary tale. Well written.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2019
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The reader fits the post to his/her world, unavoidably. A writer soon learns that. Cancer, toxic relationship, loss of loved one, actual or metaphorical, strike different chords. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from BeasPeas
This is an excellent poem, Red. It speaks of those times when we can't do much but be there to comfort someone who needs it. Sometimes just the compassion of "being there' is enough. Marilyn
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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This is an excellent poem, Red. It speaks of those times when we can't do much but be there to comfort someone who needs it. Sometimes just the compassion of "being there' is enough. Marilyn
Comment Written 19-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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What inspired me to use this topic for the wrapped refrain was how incredibly bad I am at comforting the ill or bereaved. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
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I think that's normal. Most of us feel at all sixes and sevens when it requires we comfort someone. We're not sure what to say.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written wrapped refrain for the potlatch club. Sometimes we think we do the best things for ourselves just to find it was a very bad decision.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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A very well-written wrapped refrain for the potlatch club. Sometimes we think we do the best things for ourselves just to find it was a very bad decision.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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I am undoubtedly the world's worst at speaking comfortingly to the ill or the bereaved...so much so I decided to write about it. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with a sad topic, Red. Your poem adheres to the rules of the wrapped refrain well. Your lines flow smoothly, the rhymes are great and in the right places, and the repeated phrase fits in seamlessly to add to the verse--not just repeat stuff. The situation you describe is difficult for all. I am saddened by her diagnosis. You are right--what do you say? Great job and thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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You did a great job with a sad topic, Red. Your poem adheres to the rules of the wrapped refrain well. Your lines flow smoothly, the rhymes are great and in the right places, and the repeated phrase fits in seamlessly to add to the verse--not just repeat stuff. The situation you describe is difficult for all. I am saddened by her diagnosis. You are right--what do you say? Great job and thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 19-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Thanks very much for reading my wrapped refrain, and I guess I say whatever's on my mind, even if it is grim...
Comment from Holly Buss
This is very deep. Is cancer personal to you? I enjoyed the truth to it. The emotion is very powerful and the story is good. I am left with a sad feeling, but the story is full of true emotions.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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This is very deep. Is cancer personal to you? I enjoyed the truth to it. The emotion is very powerful and the story is good. I am left with a sad feeling, but the story is full of true emotions.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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The wife(1951--2011) helped raise the niece while the mom ran wild, and the girl is 47 now. Too young ...thanks for reading my potlatch wrapped refrain...
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Very well done, and tragic. What DO you say? All you can do is pray for the afflicted and offer comfort and support. "Anything I can do, just ask," is what you'll say, and you mean it, but alas, there is nothing much you can do. You can't cure the cancer. Sad poem, but life is like this sometimes.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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Very well done, and tragic. What DO you say? All you can do is pray for the afflicted and offer comfort and support. "Anything I can do, just ask," is what you'll say, and you mean it, but alas, there is nothing much you can do. You can't cure the cancer. Sad poem, but life is like this sometimes.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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The inanity of my conversation with this gal-only 47-bugged me so much I decided to express it if I ever wrote anything else, and here came that wrapped refrain prompt...thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Gloria ....
So very well written Ellijay. It is difficult to know what to say when the dreaded cancer has returned and the prognosis is bad.
This is a very sad but beautifully written wrapped refrain.
Thank you for sharing.
Gloria
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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So very well written Ellijay. It is difficult to know what to say when the dreaded cancer has returned and the prognosis is bad.
This is a very sad but beautifully written wrapped refrain.
Thank you for sharing.
Gloria
Comment Written 18-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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Everyone in this gal's life, mom, aunt, granny, other granny, all have died, but her fifth(sixth?) husband and two sons who pretend they don't know her. She called me and I probably sounded like an idiot...thanks for reading my wrapped verses...
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This has some chilling lines at the end here and often the truth of many people's situation, I found your poem real and honest and quite sad, best wishes, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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This has some chilling lines at the end here and often the truth of many people's situation, I found your poem real and honest and quite sad, best wishes, love Dolly x
Comment Written 18-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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I am always absolutely terrible at speaking to the bereaved or the very ill...I wanted to express my tongue-tie in verse, since potlatch is calling for a wrapped refrain...thanks for reading...
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
In courses of living overnights, though out of passion or emotion everything was fine and acceptable but later it turns to an agonistic stage with a question; well said, well done. Thank you for sharing. Keep Writing Inspire Changing -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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In courses of living overnights, though out of passion or emotion everything was fine and acceptable but later it turns to an agonistic stage with a question; well said, well done. Thank you for sharing. Keep Writing Inspire Changing -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 18-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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My double cousin has a nervous laugh that gets away when he talks to the ill or bereaved, and I am almost as bed...thanks for reading and reviewing.
