Non-Existence
Nothing is here and time is gone17 total reviews
Comment from l.raven
Hi Raul, I feel like that sometimes when I am awake...I think the world we live in can sometimes...if only for a minute...make us feel lost....very well written my sweet friend...and good luck in the contest...love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2019
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Hi Raul, I feel like that sometimes when I am awake...I think the world we live in can sometimes...if only for a minute...make us feel lost....very well written my sweet friend...and good luck in the contest...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 20-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2019
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Thank you!
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you are always so welcome...love xxoo
Comment from Dr. Nad
Thank you for sharing your whimsical presentation of a moment lost in time. You take us to a place where we have all been before. that place where we ask ourselves the question; is it or isn't it? Am I or am I not? then you remove all question and deliver us safely to our bed of comfort. This is for real.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Thank you for sharing your whimsical presentation of a moment lost in time. You take us to a place where we have all been before. that place where we ask ourselves the question; is it or isn't it? Am I or am I not? then you remove all question and deliver us safely to our bed of comfort. This is for real.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Thank you! :)
Comment from Dr. Nad
Thank you for sharing your whimsical presentation of a moment lost in time. You take us to a place where we have all been before. that place where we ask ourselves the question; is it or isn't it? Am I or am I not? then you remove all question and deliver us safely to our bed of comfort. This is for real.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Thank you for sharing your whimsical presentation of a moment lost in time. You take us to a place where we have all been before. that place where we ask ourselves the question; is it or isn't it? Am I or am I not? then you remove all question and deliver us safely to our bed of comfort. This is for real.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story.
Comment from Possummagic
This is an interesting flash fiction contest entry. I like the surreal implications. Is he dreaming? Is he awake? Did you ever watch the movie "Inception." I left the Cinema not knowing whether I was awake or asleep and dreaming my life. Well done.PM
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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This is an interesting flash fiction contest entry. I like the surreal implications. Is he dreaming? Is he awake? Did you ever watch the movie "Inception." I left the Cinema not knowing whether I was awake or asleep and dreaming my life. Well done.PM
Comment Written 17-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story.
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You are most welcome. PM
Comment from rspoet
Hello Raul,
I'm not sure if this is a dream and he finally wakes up
of if he has entered some sort of time warp.
I think you need to be a bit clearer in the story,
even if it is the Twilight Zone.
Good luck in the contest
RS
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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Hello Raul,
I'm not sure if this is a dream and he finally wakes up
of if he has entered some sort of time warp.
I think you need to be a bit clearer in the story,
even if it is the Twilight Zone.
Good luck in the contest
RS
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Thank you!
Comment from robyn corum
Raul, (4)
Yikes! This could definitely be a Twilight Zone scenario! And one I would not want to visit, for sure. haha The absence of time or space or color or anything else would be absolutely horrifying, imo.
I realize 80 words is nowhere near enough to try to draw a complete picture of this situation, but you've presented an intriguing premise. It might be intriguing to really draw this out and play with it a bit more in a longer setting AFTER the contest.
I do have some notes for you, if you're interested?
***
1.) Please note that you are switching from present to past tense in the first sentence:
--> There WAS (past) nothing but blank white when Harry IS WALKING(present) walking.
2.) It is as if he is the only one that exists.
--> when speaking of a human, use 'who' rather than 'that'
-->It is as if he is the only one (who) exists.
3.) He is waking up from his bed and sees his parents.
--> Just a matter of preference, maybe, but I would suggest saying, he was waking up from his 'dream' rather than his bed.
4.) He's happy that his family and the existence of time is living.
--> this line is a bit garbled to me. It may need some editing for better clarity?
Thanks so much and good luck!
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Raul, (4)
Yikes! This could definitely be a Twilight Zone scenario! And one I would not want to visit, for sure. haha The absence of time or space or color or anything else would be absolutely horrifying, imo.
I realize 80 words is nowhere near enough to try to draw a complete picture of this situation, but you've presented an intriguing premise. It might be intriguing to really draw this out and play with it a bit more in a longer setting AFTER the contest.
I do have some notes for you, if you're interested?
***
1.) Please note that you are switching from present to past tense in the first sentence:
--> There WAS (past) nothing but blank white when Harry IS WALKING(present) walking.
2.) It is as if he is the only one that exists.
--> when speaking of a human, use 'who' rather than 'that'
-->It is as if he is the only one (who) exists.
3.) He is waking up from his bed and sees his parents.
--> Just a matter of preference, maybe, but I would suggest saying, he was waking up from his 'dream' rather than his bed.
4.) He's happy that his family and the existence of time is living.
--> this line is a bit garbled to me. It may need some editing for better clarity?
Thanks so much and good luck!
Comment Written 17-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Thank you! I will change my mistakes.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
This is a very interesting offering, but I did have a little trouble following with the changes in your verb tenses. I have to say, though, that I really liked the way you ended your Flash with "Finally, no blanks." Cool! :) Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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This is a very interesting offering, but I did have a little trouble following with the changes in your verb tenses. I have to say, though, that I really liked the way you ended your Flash with "Finally, no blanks." Cool! :) Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
Comment Written 17-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Thank you!
