Reviews from

Unexpected Visitor

Some things can be explained after the fact.

3 total reviews 
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I wouldn't care about waking up a baby if a snake was in my house either. Although the country is pretty and cleaner than the city, the idea of snakes would keep me away from living there.

Good luck in the contest. Keep writing

Joan

 Comment Written 02-May-2019


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
    Writing about actual events brings back memories and I recall this one vividly. Thank you for reading.
    Blessings,
    Brigitte
reply by dragonpoet on 07-Aug-2019
    You're welcome, Brigitte.
    Joan
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi there,

It may be an idea to incorporate line breaks into this. A clear line between paragraphs and dialogue can make for a much cleaner write which is easier to follow on screen. Some folk skip over unbroken text.

as a storm forecasting breeze - perhaps hyphenate storm-forecasting here.

I jumped unto the counter, - onto rather than unto here, I think.

His reply, " Shh, he's almost asleep." - delete the space following the opening speech marks.

That would have freaked me out entirely. lol Nice little piece.

GMG

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
    Writing about actual events brings back memories and I recall this one vividly. Thank you for reading. I will check for corrections per your suggestions, thank you.
    Blessings,
    Brigitte
Comment from HealingMuse
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Brigitte,

Oh, my gosh! That experience had to be horrifying. I am glad your hubby was there to take care of it. And I am glad the snake wasn't harmed inside the dryer.

Two small offerings here:

"I jumped unto the counter, ( I was a city girl turned farm wife.)"

I think "onto" would work more effectively, and I believe the period should follow your closing parenthesis.

Thanks for sharing and good luck.

Jan :-)

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
    Writing about actual events brings back memories and I recall this one vividly. Thank you for reading. I will check for corrections per your suggestions, thank you.
    Blessings,
    Brigitte