Pin Cushion
pix this club post18 total reviews
Comment from Khurram1
The story of a person who are in need of help is full of pathos. It is quite moving specially the appropriate use of pincushion both as a title and in the context of the poem. Very nice.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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The story of a person who are in need of help is full of pathos. It is quite moving specially the appropriate use of pincushion both as a title and in the context of the poem. Very nice.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Thank you for taking the tine to read and review. I am glad you liked it
dp
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
I like the message of this. It does seem like we are sometimes like this young lady a pin cushion for everyone to take a shot at. Just like her, we're in need of rescue as you've so eloquently stated. You've done a great job with the subject matter and I enjoyed reading this. Well done!
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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I like the message of this. It does seem like we are sometimes like this young lady a pin cushion for everyone to take a shot at. Just like her, we're in need of rescue as you've so eloquently stated. You've done a great job with the subject matter and I enjoyed reading this. Well done!
Comment Written 17-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Thank you very much for the kind comments and generous rating
Jdp
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Dragonpoet, I enjoyed reading your picture challenge interpretation. A victim waits to be saved by the one she will truly love. A painful experience and wait.
As for your layout - couplets are fine as it makes for an easier read. However, having four line verses works well too because of your abcb rhyme format. Four verses with a couplet to conclude.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you enjoy my short PC attempt. ~DD
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2019
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Dragonpoet, I enjoyed reading your picture challenge interpretation. A victim waits to be saved by the one she will truly love. A painful experience and wait.
As for your layout - couplets are fine as it makes for an easier read. However, having four line verses works well too because of your abcb rhyme format. Four verses with a couplet to conclude.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you enjoy my short PC attempt. ~DD
Comment Written 11-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2019
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Thanks for the review and the comments on possible layouts.
dp
Comment from sunnilicious
We can't always depend on others. We must take a stance for ourselves. It may change us but that knight wasn't around to save us. Great storytelling skills. Excellent poem. Nice artwork choice. God bless you :)
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2019
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We can't always depend on others. We must take a stance for ourselves. It may change us but that knight wasn't around to save us. Great storytelling skills. Excellent poem. Nice artwork choice. God bless you :)
Comment Written 02-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2019
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Thanks for the encouraging words and generous rating. Both are much appreciated.
~Joan
Comment from Aiona
I love the layout. It really works for me. Along with the picture. It makes her voice sound halting, as if in pain. I found three typos, I think. Easily fixed, and the meaning still came through anyway.
1. "me for the pain"
I think you meant "me FROM the pain"
Or maybe you *did* mean "for." I'm not sure.
2. "Then each would can heal"
I think you meant "Then each WOUND can heal"
3. "Fin a way to become whole"
I think you meant "FIND a way to become whole"
The picture is amazing. Who did it? It's almost as if the knives are her wings. A fairy of a different species. This poem embodies how I felt just before I meant my husband. He is my knight errant. :)
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2019
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I love the layout. It really works for me. Along with the picture. It makes her voice sound halting, as if in pain. I found three typos, I think. Easily fixed, and the meaning still came through anyway.
1. "me for the pain"
I think you meant "me FROM the pain"
Or maybe you *did* mean "for." I'm not sure.
2. "Then each would can heal"
I think you meant "Then each WOUND can heal"
3. "Fin a way to become whole"
I think you meant "FIND a way to become whole"
The picture is amazing. Who did it? It's almost as if the knives are her wings. A fairy of a different species. This poem embodies how I felt just before I meant my husband. He is my knight errant. :)
Comment Written 29-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2019
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Thanks for the review and all the stars. I made the corrections.
Joan
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It is part of the Pix this club. Their is a weekly or bi weekly picture to write a poem about. You get into it by hitting the community tab and choosing 'clubs'
Then going to Pix this club.
Joan
Comment from Colin John
Hi I do like it the way you have laid it out, but wonder if you will get more of a impact if you keep the words flowing or together like abcb as you have suggested. I feel as long as your happy then thats all that counts, it is for me, although i do listen to advice.Kind Regards John.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2019
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Hi I do like it the way you have laid it out, but wonder if you will get more of a impact if you keep the words flowing or together like abcb as you have suggested. I feel as long as your happy then thats all that counts, it is for me, although i do listen to advice.Kind Regards John.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2019
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Thanks for the review and the opinion. So far it is one to one on the format. I seem to agree with you though. We'll see if I change it
Joan
Comment from Randa Dayle
It is so hard to live with back stabbers. Very dramatic picture that makes the poems point even pointier. Good poem. I think you should keep the layout.
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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2019
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It is so hard to live with back stabbers. Very dramatic picture that makes the poems point even pointier. Good poem. I think you should keep the layout.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2019
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Thanks for the comments and the high rating.
~dragonpoet
Comment from 24chas
This was a good read, Dragonpoet. I think it would probably read better if you made it into quatrains, but I had no problem reading it this way. The flow was really good as was the imagery. Nice job. One small nit: The seem to rain (They)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2019
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This was a good read, Dragonpoet. I think it would probably read better if you made it into quatrains, but I had no problem reading it this way. The flow was really good as was the imagery. Nice job. One small nit: The seem to rain (They)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2019
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Thanks for reading and commenting on this poem. I will make the edit.
~Joan
