St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "St. Louis Chapter 3 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
21 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
So, Logan's become her shadow, eh? Well, perhaps they can learn from each other if they allow it to happen.... another great additon, ma'am, really enjoying the storyline development and appreciate the way you build the backstory slowly rather than rattle everything off in the beginning about either of your MC's -- makes for a more interesting read rather than being spoon-fed and just follow along like a soap opera...great job!! :) ;) Thanx for sharing and look forward to the next! :) ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2019
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So, Logan's become her shadow, eh? Well, perhaps they can learn from each other if they allow it to happen.... another great additon, ma'am, really enjoying the storyline development and appreciate the way you build the backstory slowly rather than rattle everything off in the beginning about either of your MC's -- makes for a more interesting read rather than being spoon-fed and just follow along like a soap opera...great job!! :) ;) Thanx for sharing and look forward to the next! :) ;) Yvette
Comment Written 25-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2019
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from sandragee
Mac was asked by Bill Abbott to check out an alibi. She was to speak with a Marcie Kirks. The address turned out to be a broken-down building. After verifying with Bill that she had the correct address, she entered the building. If this was a trap, someone was going to be in for a big surprise. They will not be expecting Logan to be with her.
Mac says, "Listen." This is a nice way to end the chapter, leaving the reader to ask what did they hear?
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2019
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Mac was asked by Bill Abbott to check out an alibi. She was to speak with a Marcie Kirks. The address turned out to be a broken-down building. After verifying with Bill that she had the correct address, she entered the building. If this was a trap, someone was going to be in for a big surprise. They will not be expecting Logan to be with her.
Mac says, "Listen." This is a nice way to end the chapter, leaving the reader to ask what did they hear?
Comment Written 25-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2019
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Thank you for the kind and encouraging review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barb
you definitively know how leave us readers in suspense of if Bill
McKenzie lawyer is going to help solve who killed her sister,
after you described the meeting place that Bill was to meet McKenzie sounds like trap to me.
Gert
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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Hello Barb
you definitively know how leave us readers in suspense of if Bill
McKenzie lawyer is going to help solve who killed her sister,
after you described the meeting place that Bill was to meet McKenzie sounds like trap to me.
Gert
Comment Written 24-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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It does sound like a tramp, doesn't it. Hmmm, I appreciate your kind review.
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You are welcome
Well Barb that is up to you if it's a Tramp.
Gert
Comment from judiverse
Excellent chapter. Interesting introduction of Bill. He arouses Logan's suspicions, but maybe he's just jealous. Logan is still being extra protective of her, and that makes Mac feel defensive. She's been in business and surely knows what to do, but the attack by whatever drug has left her pretty weak. The building Bill sends her to to check on an alibi certainly looks suspicious. Apparently something is going on there. Detectives have a way of being lured into meeting someone at a suspicious location (usually a deserted warehouse and then they're attacked once they get there. You have to wonder why they go. Great writing and excellent work with your characters. judi
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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Excellent chapter. Interesting introduction of Bill. He arouses Logan's suspicions, but maybe he's just jealous. Logan is still being extra protective of her, and that makes Mac feel defensive. She's been in business and surely knows what to do, but the attack by whatever drug has left her pretty weak. The building Bill sends her to to check on an alibi certainly looks suspicious. Apparently something is going on there. Detectives have a way of being lured into meeting someone at a suspicious location (usually a deserted warehouse and then they're attacked once they get there. You have to wonder why they go. Great writing and excellent work with your characters. judi
Comment Written 24-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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Thank you for the encouraging review. You just reminded me I didn't put Bill in the character list. I need to go back and do that.
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You're welcome. Bill has generated some interest. He'll be turning up again, I suppose. judi
Comment from 24chas
A good chapter, Barbara. I'm really liking the interplay between Mckenzie and Logan. And I hope this isn't a set up at the end of the chapter. Good job of building the tension.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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A good chapter, Barbara. I'm really liking the interplay between Mckenzie and Logan. And I hope this isn't a set up at the end of the chapter. Good job of building the tension.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Good episode. A rotting door won't offer much protection from bullets, so let's hope there isn't a killer waiting to greet Logan. Why did Bill send him there anyway? For clues?
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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Good episode. A rotting door won't offer much protection from bullets, so let's hope there isn't a killer waiting to greet Logan. Why did Bill send him there anyway? For clues?
Comment Written 24-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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To talk to Marcie, but it's not going to happen. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Artasylum
Barbara... I'm enjoying traveling with you on this journey...
After verifying the information and describing the scene to Bill, McKenzie hung up. "This is the address the suspect gave the police. I'm supposed to speak with a Marcie Kirks. Unless Marcie's a rat, I doubt we'll find her."
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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Barbara... I'm enjoying traveling with you on this journey...
After verifying the information and describing the scene to Bill, McKenzie hung up. "This is the address the suspect gave the police. I'm supposed to speak with a Marcie Kirks. Unless Marcie's a rat, I doubt we'll find her."
Comment Written 24-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, this is a great continuation to the story and it moves at a good pace and has a great dialogue. I only found a couple of things:
"I'm hanging still around. I might come in handy." = "I'm still hanging around. I might come in handy."
"We won't know for fact I was drugged = "We don't know for a fact I was drugged
Great story. All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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Hi Barbara, this is a great continuation to the story and it moves at a good pace and has a great dialogue. I only found a couple of things:
"I'm hanging still around. I might come in handy." = "I'm still hanging around. I might come in handy."
"We won't know for fact I was drugged = "We don't know for a fact I was drugged
Great story. All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 24-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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Thank you, I made the first correction but am going to wait for more reviews for the second. I'm thinking because of the until it needs to be won't. I'll wait and see. Thank you for the kind review.
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Oh, what I meant with the second correction was: "We won't know for a fact I was drugged. I think there should be 'a' before 'fact'. I hope this makes it clearer.:)))
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good idea.
Comment from Tootsie55
Bob Hartson reckons SIXES are ok even with spags. Great story still did I tell ya sankey is on Monthly renewals now. Now some spags or suggestions.OOps! "I'm (still)hanging [still]around. I might come in handy."
she pulled (out) from her parking [s]lot...or (spot).
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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Bob Hartson reckons SIXES are ok even with spags. Great story still did I tell ya sankey is on Monthly renewals now. Now some spags or suggestions.OOps! "I'm (still)hanging [still]around. I might come in handy."
she pulled (out) from her parking [s]lot...or (spot).
Comment Written 24-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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I have made that correction with the still. Not sure I need the out because of the from. I call it a parking slot. I will check the definition. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
An excellent post Barbara, the plot's great, with love presumably the backstory. I like this sort of love story, I think it can appeal to both genders. Ever the "stick in the mud" (I'm forgetting Logan wants to nail his sister's killers) Mack is called by someone called Bill with information, Logan and Mack drive to an old warehouse...well done Barbara, great episode, blessings, Roy
Suggestion, (I'm hanging around still) I'm still hanging around?
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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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An excellent post Barbara, the plot's great, with love presumably the backstory. I like this sort of love story, I think it can appeal to both genders. Ever the "stick in the mud" (I'm forgetting Logan wants to nail his sister's killers) Mack is called by someone called Bill with information, Logan and Mack drive to an old warehouse...well done Barbara, great episode, blessings, Roy
Suggestion, (I'm hanging around still) I'm still hanging around?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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I have made that correction. Thank you for the kind review.
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Most welcome
