THE IMMORTAL
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Haunted Memories"Sci-Fi/Dark Fantasy/Mystery/Romance
6 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
First of all, thank you for your list of references. It helps the reader do justice in reading with connection to tour characters and terms. I was immediately taken with this line, a great foreshadowing and at the same time summary of the series. "After what he'd experienced, he had the sense that nothing was as it seemed." This also draws the reader in because most of us know that this is also a truth about everyone's life. This actually has many depths signaled by your metaphors. There is more I could write but this is good for now. This is well written. A+
reply by the author on 13-May-2019
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First of all, thank you for your list of references. It helps the reader do justice in reading with connection to tour characters and terms. I was immediately taken with this line, a great foreshadowing and at the same time summary of the series. "After what he'd experienced, he had the sense that nothing was as it seemed." This also draws the reader in because most of us know that this is also a truth about everyone's life. This actually has many depths signaled by your metaphors. There is more I could write but this is good for now. This is well written. A+
Comment Written 13-May-2019
reply by the author on 13-May-2019
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WOW! Thank you, Liz! :)
You just made my day! A positive review is the biggest reward for me. I'm happy to hear you enjoyed the chapter because it gives me great pleasure to create my stories. At this point, my characters are almost like my pretend family. It's fun to change and mold each one in my own image.
Thanks again, and I hope to continue to entertain you with my Breedline adventures.
Hugs,
Shana :)
Comment from ngage
Wow! Ms. Shana, this is an incredible chapter! You did a super job creating the scene for the reader. All of Manuel's memories of his sister's death seemed so believable. I could actually picture the morgue scene. You gave the reader a lot of real emotions. Fantastic writing! I'm dying to read more!
Nate
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2019
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Wow! Ms. Shana, this is an incredible chapter! You did a super job creating the scene for the reader. All of Manuel's memories of his sister's death seemed so believable. I could actually picture the morgue scene. You gave the reader a lot of real emotions. Fantastic writing! I'm dying to read more!
Nate
Comment Written 28-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2019
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Awww... thanks Nate :)
So glad this chapter entertained you! That was my plan. I had fun writing it although most of it was sad. I wanted to give the reader the background memory of Lailah's death and the roller-coaster of emotions he's been put through. I was hoping it would give readers a bit more of what kind of man he is. Stay tuned my friend... more to come!
Big hug,
Shana :)
Comment from Mistydawn
This is a great chapter well-written, interesting, a lot of backstory on Manuel and his sister. You made him believable, relatable, someone a reader hopes will succeed. Of course the revenge part really appeals to me. It's what the majority of my books is about, lol. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2019
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This is a great chapter well-written, interesting, a lot of backstory on Manuel and his sister. You made him believable, relatable, someone a reader hopes will succeed. Of course the revenge part really appeals to me. It's what the majority of my books is about, lol. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2019
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Thank you, Mistydawn :)
This is a great review and wow ... the six stars! So grateful for you.
I loved writing about Manuel. His character is so fun to keep building on. I feel his pain, even though he's make believe. Isn't it funny how we start to care for our characters? It's almost like they really exist. Now I feel like Johnny Depp in that movie (I can't remember) where his characters come to life in his head. Yikes!
Again, thanks so much!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from royowen
Wow! This was an episode and a half. Manuel's sister Lailah waa savagely killed in an incomprehensibly evil way, (you have truly a remarkable imagination) that would leave an indelible fingerprint on one's memory, but with that great previous chapter, the connection with previous happenings are making sense. I love the way you piece them togerther, and like a concetina, or jigsaw puzzle, expand them articulately with such a gifted and perceptive approach. A remarkable memory for detail Shana. Well done, it was as though I was in Manuel's mind. Well done, (Lailah has been compensated) blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2019
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Wow! This was an episode and a half. Manuel's sister Lailah waa savagely killed in an incomprehensibly evil way, (you have truly a remarkable imagination) that would leave an indelible fingerprint on one's memory, but with that great previous chapter, the connection with previous happenings are making sense. I love the way you piece them togerther, and like a concetina, or jigsaw puzzle, expand them articulately with such a gifted and perceptive approach. A remarkable memory for detail Shana. Well done, it was as though I was in Manuel's mind. Well done, (Lailah has been compensated) blessings, Roy
Comment Written 24-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2019
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Thank you,Roy :)
So happy you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry it was so long. It just ended up that way. Somehow that's just the way my mind works. LOL! I do love writing about Manuel and developing his character more. It's almost like I can feel his 'make believe' pain. Haha!
Lailah did have a horrible death, but she is rewards by God as one of his battle angels. I think you'll enjoy the chapter where she gets to see God. I thought of you when I wrote that one.
Thanks for the great feedback my friend. You're a wonderful part of my support. What would I do without ya? :)
Always your fan,
Shana :)
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Without me? You'd still do fine. People are God's business, so I look at you as a great filip for me personally.
Comment from fm wright
Shouldn't the line read "It wasn't that Manuel didn't attract women," rather than woman? I do like that you filled me in on Sanchez's past. I am also intrigued as to what information Captain Hodge has. It was a bit for me to get through, but a good read none-the-less.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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Shouldn't the line read "It wasn't that Manuel didn't attract women," rather than woman? I do like that you filled me in on Sanchez's past. I am also intrigued as to what information Captain Hodge has. It was a bit for me to get through, but a good read none-the-less.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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Thank you so much, Faye! :)
Yes, I see the typo. You're awesome for catching that one.
I know this chapter was long, but I wanted to share Manuel's past and give the reader his memories of what happened to his sister. It's kind of a recap on the last book. Thanks for hanging in there. You're a gem! So glad I still entertained you. That's my main goal.
Hugs,
Shana :)
Comment from Sandra Elizabeth Williams
I feel like I've been watching a movie. This chapter/story is so creative and well told. I have found no errors, nothing to suggest correction to.
Excellently done. Congratulations!
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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I feel like I've been watching a movie. This chapter/story is so creative and well told. I have found no errors, nothing to suggest correction to.
Excellently done. Congratulations!
Comment Written 24-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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Thank you, Sandra! :)
This is my greatest reward. I love to hear that the reader felt as though they were watching it as they read along. So glad you enjoyed!
Stay tuned ... more Breedline adventures to come.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
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You're welcome...staying tuned...
