Thunder Rolls
Quatrain poetry24 total reviews
Comment from June Sargent
These perfect storms can be devastating as they mow down anyone or anything in their paths. Have never seen a fully formed funnel. Don't think I want to!
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
  |
These perfect storms can be devastating as they mow down anyone or anything in their paths. Have never seen a fully formed funnel. Don't think I want to!
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
-
Hey, June, trust me, you do not want to see the real thing!!
Melissa
Comment from judiverse
Excellent job of showing the power of the story. Vivid descriptive words convey the intensity of the storm. "Violent, splayed, errant sky" is an example. Your rhyme and flow work well consistently. Spelling--devastating. judi
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
|
Excellent job of showing the power of the story. Vivid descriptive words convey the intensity of the storm. "Violent, splayed, errant sky" is an example. Your rhyme and flow work well consistently. Spelling--devastating. judi
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
-
Thank you, Judi. I appreciate the review and spelling problem notice. I fixed it.
Melissa
-
You're very welcome. judi
Comment from LovnPeace
Everything seems to be starting early this year. Winter, now tornado season and hitting further south then usual. Amazing picture. Well said. Blessings, Barbara
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
|
Everything seems to be starting early this year. Winter, now tornado season and hitting further south then usual. Amazing picture. Well said. Blessings, Barbara
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
-
Thanks so much, Barbara. There does seem to be treacherous weather this month. Thank you for the review.
Melissa
Comment from CD Richards
This is a great nature poem, describing the awesome power of a storm.
There are just a couple of places where I think the meter (iambic) falls down:
before massive, torrential sweep
(the emphasis falls on the wrong syllable in "massive", this could easily be fixed by rearranging -- "before torrential, massive sweep")
cause the earth and heaven to shake
(here, you've switched to trochaic meter. To maintain iambic you could have "thus causing Earth and Heaven to shake". It actually sounds ok when read, it's just that this line departs from every other one in form.)
Of course, those are just suggestions, offered in an attempt to be helpful. You may use them or not, as you see fit lol
Very nice job, Melissa.
Cheers,
Craig
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
|
This is a great nature poem, describing the awesome power of a storm.
There are just a couple of places where I think the meter (iambic) falls down:
before massive, torrential sweep
(the emphasis falls on the wrong syllable in "massive", this could easily be fixed by rearranging -- "before torrential, massive sweep")
cause the earth and heaven to shake
(here, you've switched to trochaic meter. To maintain iambic you could have "thus causing Earth and Heaven to shake". It actually sounds ok when read, it's just that this line departs from every other one in form.)
Of course, those are just suggestions, offered in an attempt to be helpful. You may use them or not, as you see fit lol
Very nice job, Melissa.
Cheers,
Craig
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
-
Thanks so much, Craig. I will go and look and make the changes. I really appreciate it!
Melissa
Comment from Y. M. Roger
WOW! This one has some powerful imagery and audio-recall within its lines, Melissa -- you seriously should have entered this one in the quatrain contest currently open! ;) ;) Simply AWESOME .... I'm thinking MG'ing agrees with your muse! :) ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
|
WOW! This one has some powerful imagery and audio-recall within its lines, Melissa -- you seriously should have entered this one in the quatrain contest currently open! ;) ;) Simply AWESOME .... I'm thinking MG'ing agrees with your muse! :) ;) Yvette
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
-
Hey, Yvette... thanks so much. I am enjoying the focus on the outdoors and digging in the dirt too. But, I love FS, and always gravitate back to see what everyone is doing. Thanks a bunch for the great review.
Melissa
Comment from Mistydawn
Tornados are horrid things that's for sure, the way they leave mass destruction behind. Your poem is very well-written, descriptive. You painted a frightning picture of deadly storm in the reader's mind.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
|
Tornados are horrid things that's for sure, the way they leave mass destruction behind. Your poem is very well-written, descriptive. You painted a frightning picture of deadly storm in the reader's mind.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
-
Hey there, Misty. I appreciate your review!!
Melissa
Comment from tfawcus
A richly descriptive piece giving your readers a graphic image of the storm and associated atmospherics. Perhaps a bit top heavy with adjectives but, hey, that's what they are for!
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
|
A richly descriptive piece giving your readers a graphic image of the storm and associated atmospherics. Perhaps a bit top heavy with adjectives but, hey, that's what they are for!
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
-
Hey, Tony... yes, it is a bit wordy and descriptive.. I will have another look. Thanks so much.
Melissa
Comment from royowen
Certain parts of the United States, get these horrid tornado storms that rip the countryside, property and animals asunder, an excellent poem depicting these things Melissa. The excellent tetrametric quatrained abcb rhymed work, is articulte, with a great image ba earring narrative, well dine, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
|
Certain parts of the United States, get these horrid tornado storms that rip the countryside, property and animals asunder, an excellent poem depicting these things Melissa. The excellent tetrametric quatrained abcb rhymed work, is articulte, with a great image ba earring narrative, well dine, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
-
Hi, Roy. Thank you so much for the great review. I grew up in Tornado Alley (portions of Arkansas and Oklahoma), so I have had first hand experience. Much appreciated.
Melissa
-
Well done,
Comment from Ben Colder
Thinking about Alabama and the troubles they will have for months ahead. I pray for them all and hope it is the last for this season in our country. Thanks for sharing. A good write I find nothing wrong.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
|
Thinking about Alabama and the troubles they will have for months ahead. I pray for them all and hope it is the last for this season in our country. Thanks for sharing. A good write I find nothing wrong.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
-
Thanks so much, Ben, for your thoughtful review. I am grateful.
Melissa
Comment from Miss Sherry
I love massive storms, but regret the damage they cause. They are like the voice of God speaking. Your artwork is eerie and almost scary. I really like this poem very much. It appeals to my wild side!
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
|
I love massive storms, but regret the damage they cause. They are like the voice of God speaking. Your artwork is eerie and almost scary. I really like this poem very much. It appeals to my wild side!
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
-
Hi, Sherry. I grew up in an area that had these types of storms and they can be very powerful. Thanks for the review.
Melissa
-
You are so welcome, sweet woman!
