Dearest
Can you hear me now?12 total reviews
Comment from Ms. Snyder
I like it and boy can I relate to people not listening to when you speak! I have this issue pretty regularly! It's because my vocals sound like a croaky frog and people tune me out. But I like this entry for the contest and I wish you a lot of luck! Cheers, Fonda
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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I like it and boy can I relate to people not listening to when you speak! I have this issue pretty regularly! It's because my vocals sound like a croaky frog and people tune me out. But I like this entry for the contest and I wish you a lot of luck! Cheers, Fonda
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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Thank you:) It was a fun prompt:)
Comment from Rachelle Allen
HAHAHAHAHAH. This is hilarious!! You did a perfect job showing who does and does NOT pay attention in this relationship!! I absolutely love it. Good luck to you in the contest!! xo
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
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HAHAHAHAHAH. This is hilarious!! You did a perfect job showing who does and does NOT pay attention in this relationship!! I absolutely love it. Good luck to you in the contest!! xo
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
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Thank you:) They say to write what you know :)
It was a fun prompt!
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Uh-oh!! Lol. Say it ain't so, Helena!!
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:)
Comment from DeborahWrite
Dear Author,
This is as excellent short story! The last line is perfect! I also thought your selected picture apropos!
My best in winning this contest.
Deborah
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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Dear Author,
This is as excellent short story! The last line is perfect! I also thought your selected picture apropos!
My best in winning this contest.
Deborah
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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Thank you:) It was a fun prompt:)
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I'm not sure how much it'll matter but I think you are supposed to use the line as it is. Here you've continued the dialogue. In the given line, the dialogue stops and concludes with the speech marks. you could insert a speech tag there and re-open. As it is, it may run the risk of disqualification. I'm not sure how strict they are these days.
Also, when starting a new paragraph in dialogue, each paragraph should have a set of opening speech marks, but only one set of closing at the very end. this signifies that it is the same speaker throughout. you don't use them here except at the very beginning.
Yet the content is so familiar... lol
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Hi there,
I'm not sure how much it'll matter but I think you are supposed to use the line as it is. Here you've continued the dialogue. In the given line, the dialogue stops and concludes with the speech marks. you could insert a speech tag there and re-open. As it is, it may run the risk of disqualification. I'm not sure how strict they are these days.
Also, when starting a new paragraph in dialogue, each paragraph should have a set of opening speech marks, but only one set of closing at the very end. this signifies that it is the same speaker throughout. you don't use them here except at the very beginning.
Yet the content is so familiar... lol
Comment Written 09-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Hmmmm, I wasn't sure about this, but I did change it, as I know you are a long-timer, and I'm respecting that:)
Thanks for the lesson and the fine-tuning:)
Comment from Sandra Elizabeth Williams
I'd have given you a 6 if I had.
I can relate to your story, and I'm sure every woman can. I really love the way the story sounds natural from the start... Right to the end.
Well done!
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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I'd have given you a 6 if I had.
I can relate to your story, and I'm sure every woman can. I really love the way the story sounds natural from the start... Right to the end.
Well done!
Comment Written 07-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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I'm delighted with the theoretical sixth star:)
It was a fun prompt-- glad you enjoyed it:)
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:-)
Comment from Shirley McLain
A very true story you wrote about communication between men and women. It is night and day. You did a good job and good luck with your entry. Shirley
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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A very true story you wrote about communication between men and women. It is night and day. You did a good job and good luck with your entry. Shirley
Comment Written 07-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Thank you:) This was a fun prompt, that may have had personal experience behind it:)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Obviously dearest has no interest whatsoever in his wife and I think she should file for divorce! He he he, this is a magical write and I enjoyed it, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Obviously dearest has no interest whatsoever in his wife and I think she should file for divorce! He he he, this is a magical write and I enjoyed it, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Ha!
Awareness is a process:)
Glad you enjoyed it--it was a fun prompt.
Comment from JudyE
Oh, this little scene (or similar) would be acted out in so many homes I think. You have developed the character nicely and the dialogue is very natural. I don't know if 'bridge' needs to have a capital but I doubt it's important. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Oh, this little scene (or similar) would be acted out in so many homes I think. You have developed the character nicely and the dialogue is very natural. I don't know if 'bridge' needs to have a capital but I doubt it's important. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Thanks for reading and reviewing-- it is a fun prompt:)
Comment from Connie Frazier
This dialogue (or lack of) is written in a way that really demonstrates the one-sided nature of conversation between the two characters. I like that it starts with addressing "Dearest" and ends with "dearest?", but this time as a question. That one word serves as a good "sandwich" for the content. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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This dialogue (or lack of) is written in a way that really demonstrates the one-sided nature of conversation between the two characters. I like that it starts with addressing "Dearest" and ends with "dearest?", but this time as a question. That one word serves as a good "sandwich" for the content. Nicely done.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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Thank you! It was fun :)
Comment from His Grayness
SHUTTER DOWN! YEAH! well done and very enjoyable with no suggestions from me to improve this fine work! HIS GRAYNESS; vance
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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SHUTTER DOWN! YEAH! well done and very enjoyable with no suggestions from me to improve this fine work! HIS GRAYNESS; vance
Comment Written 06-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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Thank you for reading and for your enthusiasm:)
