Animated Stills
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Lazy Snow"Inspiration of Life from Photographs
12 total reviews
Comment from HealingMuse
Hi Trieschel,
Ha has ha! This is just a great poem. I love the symbology you employ here:
"Your shape has grown
from just
a crystal speck
to
such a walrus-like
atrocity. "
The image you've selected works wonders to help convey the sense of being snowed in, with more on the way. (Been there, done that many, many times.)
One offering for your consideration:
"March came stalking in,
where February's snows already been"
Should "snows" have an apostrophe, as it is a contraction? (Maybe not. LOL)
Thanks so much for sharing your work.
Jan
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Hi Trieschel,
Ha has ha! This is just a great poem. I love the symbology you employ here:
"Your shape has grown
from just
a crystal speck
to
such a walrus-like
atrocity. "
The image you've selected works wonders to help convey the sense of being snowed in, with more on the way. (Been there, done that many, many times.)
One offering for your consideration:
"March came stalking in,
where February's snows already been"
Should "snows" have an apostrophe, as it is a contraction? (Maybe not. LOL)
Thanks so much for sharing your work.
Jan
Comment Written 07-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Thank you Jan. yes it is, but I tried it with and with, it just seemed more confusing with it there. So I elected to leave it as poor grammar, or the "have" being understood.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You still have all that snow in March? Oh, my word, too cold for me. I liked this styled poem, Tom, it had a lovely flow to it, and read like a person actually having a conversation with the snow. I really enjoyed reading it. Well done, my friend, and I love your photo. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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You still have all that snow in March? Oh, my word, too cold for me. I liked this styled poem, Tom, it had a lovely flow to it, and read like a person actually having a conversation with the snow. I really enjoyed reading it. Well done, my friend, and I love your photo. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 05-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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Thank you Sandra. There's more to come later this week. But youy know what they say, "In like a lion, out like a Lamb." Hopefully.
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I hope so for your sake! :(
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Careful it doesn't damage your deck. It is very heavy you know. We have had lots of snow but it blows away in the wind. We do have some gigantic snow drifts however. You're correct calling it a walrus-like atrocity. Well done Tom. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
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Careful it doesn't damage your deck. It is very heavy you know. We have had lots of snow but it blows away in the wind. We do have some gigantic snow drifts however. You're correct calling it a walrus-like atrocity. Well done Tom. Nancy:)
Comment Written 05-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
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Thank you Nancy. I'm glad you like my simile.
Comment from Pantygynt
As I said in my reply to your review of my magnolia poem, I would love to know where you find these definitions. I Am Cat was a master (or should that be 'mistress') of this style of poetry. For me it has much more right to the title 'poetic' than prose cut almost arbitrarily into lines even where other devices are used. But that is of course a very subjective opinion.
'... where February's snows already been' -- If this line is effectively saying '... where February's snow has already been,' and I think it is, then you need an additional apostrophe in 'snow's'.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
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As I said in my reply to your review of my magnolia poem, I would love to know where you find these definitions. I Am Cat was a master (or should that be 'mistress') of this style of poetry. For me it has much more right to the title 'poetic' than prose cut almost arbitrarily into lines even where other devices are used. But that is of course a very subjective opinion.
'... where February's snows already been' -- If this line is effectively saying '... where February's snow has already been,' and I think it is, then you need an additional apostrophe in 'snow's'.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
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Thank you Jim. Yes, U coined that phrase based on reviewing I am Cat's many works. You are right. I see that apostrophe is in my hand written draft, but I missed it when I typed it up.
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Personally, I like that there are very credible distinctions. So I'm sticking with that.
Free Verse - unrhymed unstructured
Free Style - intermittent rhyme, unstructured
Blank Verse - unrhytmed, structured and metered
Faux Free Verse - rhymed, unstructured but metered
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written faux freestyle poem. We do not get snow often but it is always a very good treat for the family, young to old and even the pets, but it never lasts more than two days at a time, so I can imagine the frustration to see the snow piling up and takes it time to melt away.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
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A very well-written faux freestyle poem. We do not get snow often but it is always a very good treat for the family, young to old and even the pets, but it never lasts more than two days at a time, so I can imagine the frustration to see the snow piling up and takes it time to melt away.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
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Thank you Sandra. Yes, it is a worry for the weight on the roof too.
Comment from RodG
You folks in Wisconsin have been inundated with snow. Here in Chicago it's gone, but the brutal cold won't vanish. I like you personify the snow and characterize it as an imposing guest who long ago surpassed its welcome. Rod
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
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You folks in Wisconsin have been inundated with snow. Here in Chicago it's gone, but the brutal cold won't vanish. I like you personify the snow and characterize it as an imposing guest who long ago surpassed its welcome. Rod
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
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Thank you RodG, I'm surprised that you don't have the same snow we got.
Comment from damommy
This read so smoothly, I was surprised to see how complicated the form is. I'm impressed. We haven't had any snow, hardly any real winter weather. I'm afraid we may get slammed yet.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
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This read so smoothly, I was surprised to see how complicated the form is. I'm impressed. We haven't had any snow, hardly any real winter weather. I'm afraid we may get slammed yet.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
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Thank you damommy, if I was still a skier, I'd be elated.
Comment from Artasylum
Hey again Treischel... Well now hopefully... April Showers will not drown your flowers as the snow melts and strangles their roots. Optimism is my thing... yours, diana
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
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Hey again Treischel... Well now hopefully... April Showers will not drown your flowers as the snow melts and strangles their roots. Optimism is my thing... yours, diana
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
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Thank you Artasylum, yes, I see that. lol.
Comment from royowen
I love the languid, almost triumphant couple of last lines, denoting the "the last laugh. While we are "enjoying" our hottest on record you are "enjoying" a very harsh winter, being sick of the monotonous cold...I'll bet, well done, spring's not far away, well done, great free verse, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
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I love the languid, almost triumphant couple of last lines, denoting the "the last laugh. While we are "enjoying" our hottest on record you are "enjoying" a very harsh winter, being sick of the monotonous cold...I'll bet, well done, spring's not far away, well done, great free verse, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
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Thank you Roy. I'll drink to that. Cheers!
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Hic!
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Lol.
Comment from Sally Law
Begone you snow! So sorry for your winter's lament. Spring is here in Florida, but a cold front comes again tonight. My azaleas have already bloomed for the second time this season. I hope it will not be too much longer for you. A fine poem of the longing for spring.
All my best,
Sal :+)
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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
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Begone you snow! So sorry for your winter's lament. Spring is here in Florida, but a cold front comes again tonight. My azaleas have already bloomed for the second time this season. I hope it will not be too much longer for you. A fine poem of the longing for spring.
All my best,
Sal :+)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
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Thank you Sally. You know what they say. In like a Lion, out like a Lamb. Hopefully.
