Flight
5-7-5 Poem26 total reviews
Comment from nancyjam
Oh I like this, Steve. Your unique way of saying you
wish you could fly - "my shoulders ache for the want of wings"
Beautiful!
You give us the picture of the heron in the blue sky - then
tell us how it affected you.
An amazing 5-7-5 that deserves to win.
Best of luck to you.
Nancy
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
  |
Oh I like this, Steve. Your unique way of saying you
wish you could fly - "my shoulders ache for the want of wings"
Beautiful!
You give us the picture of the heron in the blue sky - then
tell us how it affected you.
An amazing 5-7-5 that deserves to win.
Best of luck to you.
Nancy
Comment Written 01-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
-
Thanks, Nancy.
I suspect, even if I had wings now they'd be too feeble to get this big old body off the ground. Nice to dream about it though.
Steve
Comment from Mark D. R.
This is an almost Haiku. LOL
Greek mythology gets gently into your verse.
Never thought of a heron NOT being graceful in flight.
... want of wings - an exceptional phrase
Best wishes for your contest entry.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
|
This is an almost Haiku. LOL
Greek mythology gets gently into your verse.
Never thought of a heron NOT being graceful in flight.
... want of wings - an exceptional phrase
Best wishes for your contest entry.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
-
Hi, Mark. Welcome to FanStory - hope you like it here.
Thank you for the kind words - yes, the Icarus myth comes to mind, although he did end rather badly!
Steve
Comment from tbacha58
What a beautiful poem Steve, the picture is impressive, the meaning of wanting wings to fly I love, as I would also like to fly and come back as young as ever. Terry xoxo. It is a winner.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
|
What a beautiful poem Steve, the picture is impressive, the meaning of wanting wings to fly I love, as I would also like to fly and come back as young as ever. Terry xoxo. It is a winner.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
-
Thank you, Terry!
Everybody wants to fly. One reviewer has called it Icarus envy.
Steve
Comment from humpwhistle
Nice senryu sense to this, Steve.
I've read a few of these that were strictly observational.
You've made it personal. Also, you've tapped into our innate Icarus Envy.
We all want to soar.
My shoulders ache, too. My soaring days as over.
Best of luck, Steve. Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
|
Nice senryu sense to this, Steve.
I've read a few of these that were strictly observational.
You've made it personal. Also, you've tapped into our innate Icarus Envy.
We all want to soar.
My shoulders ache, too. My soaring days as over.
Best of luck, Steve. Peace, Lee
Comment Written 01-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
-
Icarus Envy - I like it, apart from the dying part, I suppose!
Angel wings next?
Steve
-
I dare not hope for angel wings. An eternity of angel hair pasta--but only if my plea bargaining goes well.
-
Immunity? If you can dish enough dirt on others. I suppose bloody omniscience rules that out!
Comment from kiwijenny
Mine ache too but I think it s the way I slept...ooooo wouldn't it be awesome to fly like they do. Knowing my luck I'd say wish to fly and become the bug and bedoomed to buzzing and eating poop.
God bless..ps I loved your poem
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
|
Mine ache too but I think it s the way I slept...ooooo wouldn't it be awesome to fly like they do. Knowing my luck I'd say wish to fly and become the bug and bedoomed to buzzing and eating poop.
God bless..ps I loved your poem
Comment Written 01-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
-
Thanks, Jenny.
Do I have to go easy on the fly-spray now, just in case?
Steve
-
Yes please . And no fly swats either. Lol
Comment from dragonpoet
The heron looks so comfortable up there soaring where we all wish to be. I agree with the sentiment in the poem. I think we all feel a little like this. That's why we invented planes, parasailing, hot air balloons and all the things that make us feel like we are flying.
Hope this does well in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
|
The heron looks so comfortable up there soaring where we all wish to be. I agree with the sentiment in the poem. I think we all feel a little like this. That's why we invented planes, parasailing, hot air balloons and all the things that make us feel like we are flying.
Hope this does well in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 01-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
-
Thanks, Joan.
I've never tried hang-gliding. It must be the most glorious feeling.
Steve
-
My pleasure, Steve. I've been parasailing, on a glider and a bi-plane. I'm still looking to go on a hot air balloon and hang gliding.
Joan
-
Wow! Living the dream.
Comment from LIJ Red
And you sparked a memory, Tom Petty Learning To Fly..I have not dug into the fine points of five seven five poems...if I say this looks excellent to me, an expert might disagree...
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
|
And you sparked a memory, Tom Petty Learning To Fly..I have not dug into the fine points of five seven five poems...if I say this looks excellent to me, an expert might disagree...
Comment Written 01-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
-
Thank you. Everyone who can count to seventeen is an expert when it comes to these!
Steve
Comment from visionary1234
You NEVER disappoint me Steve!!! Please tell me the name of your book again! I want to buy it - but thought I'd better wait till you'd recovered from your exhausting book tour first to give you my last few dollars! :):):)Sharyn
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
 |
You NEVER disappoint me Steve!!! Please tell me the name of your book again! I want to buy it - but thought I'd better wait till you'd recovered from your exhausting book tour first to give you my last few dollars! :):):)Sharyn
Comment Written 28-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
-
Hi, Sharyn! Long time no see.
Thank you for the kind words, as always.
If you hang onto those precious last dollars a week or two longer, the price will go down. The title is "Life, Love and Other Disasters" (by Steve Herbert). You sound sceptical about the book tours - what gave it away? I have had a few people who took it very literally indeed!
Hope you are well and somewhat insulated from all the Trumpery.
Steve
Comment from Sasha
This is a beautifully written 5-7-5 contest entry. When I was a child I always dreamed I could fly. Like the do-do bird I had trouble taking off and landing but once I was airborne I was so happy. Thanks for bringing back those fond memories. I sincerely wish you all the best in this contest.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
|
This is a beautifully written 5-7-5 contest entry. When I was a child I always dreamed I could fly. Like the do-do bird I had trouble taking off and landing but once I was airborne I was so happy. Thanks for bringing back those fond memories. I sincerely wish you all the best in this contest.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
-
Thanks, Sasha. Somehow, when I dream of flying, it's never as a Dodo!
Steve
Comment from D.Ream
The tone of melancholy is beautifully captured and the reader can reflect on the poem's overall message. The image develops the message of the poem even further.
Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
|
The tone of melancholy is beautifully captured and the reader can reflect on the poem's overall message. The image develops the message of the poem even further.
Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 28-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
-
Hi and welcome to FanStory.
Many thanks for the kind words and the six-star review - much appreciated.
Steve
