Comment from Sandra Elizabeth Williams

Excellent

I totally love your poem; I love the rhythm I carries, the rhymes that flow and that fact that it comes back full circle to where you had started as the point of life. It is indeed a perfect circle.

Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019

Thank you, Sandra Elizabeth. It's so nice to receive this kind of helpful feedback - i.e. to know what's "working" for the readers. Plus it also feels good, too! :)

reply by Sandra Elizabeth Williams on 27-Feb-2019

You're most welcome!

Comment from jenintorre

Excellent

Your poem is poignant, beautiful and true. It has excellent rhyme and flows well throughout. I wish you lots of luck in the competition. Best wishe jen.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019

Thanks, Jen! That was really nice to read from you. I appreciate it a lot.

Comment from KyColonel Randal

Excellent

Thank you for sharing this poem. Life does indeed seem to come full-circle, doesn't it? The illustration you have chosen is appropriate for the poem's subject matter. I see you have changed the background color; I would consider manipulating the text as well, perhaps making it bigger and bolder. Good luck with your contest entry!

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019

Thanks, KyColonel Randal. I'll play around with the fonts and see how that looks. I appreciate that feedback very much.

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Hello Mystery Poet,

I used to think a story poem had characters that did something then got into a bit of trouble then got themselves out of it and we all cheered that a happy ending was achieved.

I enjoyed reading your story poem. I agree with you about the point of life. You pretty much summed up my life.

Best wishes in the contest.

Sincerely Joy xx

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019

Thanks, Joy. I'm new to FS, so I hope I stayed within the parameters. (Did I? And if I didn't is it too late to edit?) I appreciate your review and the feedback very much. It felt good to read such encouraging words.

reply by Joy Graham on 27-Feb-2019

You can definitely edit up until the contest deadline. Welcome to the site.

reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019

Thanks! That's good to know!
But IS this a story poem? The guidelines were sort of vague that way.

reply by Joy Graham on 27-Feb-2019

I have seen a variety of story poems in contests here lately. I'm no expert because I rarely vote for the winner so I must have BAD judgement.

I was taught that a story poem should have a beginning, a middle, and an end. It's my own personal opinion that there should be characters. Maybe a good guy and a villain. Or just some misguided soul that readers cheer for when things turn out good in the end?

I have fond memories of one lady's poem which won first place in a story poem contest quite a while ago. She told a story of how her character had to get her horse (or donkey?) to town. She had characters try to help along the way until the whole town was involved. I'm foggy on all the details so should look it up if her page is still available. Anyway, it was filled with hilarity as they all tried to figure out a solution to the problem. To me, that's a story poem.

reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019

Hmm. Does it all have to rhyme or have a meter? Is that where the 'poem' part of it comes into play?

reply by Joy Graham on 27-Feb-2019

Well, I happen to love rhymes and meter, but you could use free verse. It doesn't have to be humorous, you could make us cry too.

reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019

Thanks for all your help and feedback. I'm sorry to be so 'needy' here with this! I just feel a bit out of my realm.

I'm not sure it qualifies, really, as a 'story' since there's no conflict at any point, just change. I've gotten positive reviews so far, but I know in the Voting Booth, that point is moot. I guess I'll just leave it as is.

Again, you've been so helpful. Thanks for all your time and input here.

reply by Joy Graham on 27-Feb-2019

The voting booth is always an adventure. You never know what voters are thinking.

reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019

This is true, but in a way, that makes it very fun. And it also makes you not take it personally. It's kind of a crap shoot. You should enter only for the fun of it and because you, personally, liked what you wrote.

Comment from 24chas

Excellent

I liked this read, unknown writer. They are wise words and hopefully everyone will read and take them to heart. Nice job and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019

Thank you, 24chas. I appreciate those words of encouragement!

Comment from Donka Kristeva

Excellent

I really enjoyed this write. It's simple and profound. The stages of life pass by and you have defined them clearly and eloquently.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019

This review means the world to me, Donka. Thank you. xo

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

I loved how your poem did a 360* full circle...the point of life is eternity...which is infinity...circles say it like it is...laugh and play with those you love ..indeed
Sweet bliss to be blessed so
God bless for the bliss

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019

Thank you, Kiwijenny. My mentor taught me years ago to "always choose joy." It made ALL the difference in my life!

reply by kiwijenny on 27-Feb-2019

Always choose Joy...oh wow ..perfect advice

Comment from HealingMuse

Excellent

Hi Mystery Author,

WOW! This is a terrific poem and a stellar contest entry! You've managed to take us through an entire life cycle in just a few short stanzas. Very nicely done!

The image you've selected complements your verse perfectly!

Thanks so much for sharing this delightful work with us.

Jan - Best of luck in the contest! :-)

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019

And thank YOU for this really sweet review. I appreciate it very much!

reply by HealingMuse on 27-Feb-2019

You're most welcome. I really enjoyed the read! :-)