The Point of Life
It's not a point so much as a perfect circle.58 total reviews
Comment from Debra White
Yes, the point of life does alter with our age and our priorities.
Very well written and presented I enjoyed your poem very much :)
Good luck in the voting booth.
Best wishes, Debra :)
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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Yes, the point of life does alter with our age and our priorities.
Very well written and presented I enjoyed your poem very much :)
Good luck in the voting booth.
Best wishes, Debra :)
Comment Written 28-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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What a warm and considerate review this is. Thank you, Debra. It made me feel so good to read this.
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You?re welcome :) I enjoyed your poem very much... Debra
Comment from phill doran
Hello Anon
This is lovely - that the 'story' you chose to elaborate is, in fact, the whole of a life, and in being that, it become the whole of every life near enough: we do all tend to have the same goals and dreams. There are so many circles in life and this is just another one, albeit the biggest, and the longest. And in the end, it is only ever about the human capacity for love in all its many, many forms.
It might be my accent - and I mean no disrespect to your fine work here - but I battled in the final verse on the line "And The Point, once again, is this:..." I had more success with " And The Point, again, is this:..." (which I suppose implies that "and" should be "Yet").
A great read, lots of real life in a small package. I wish you well with this and your continued writing.
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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Hello Anon
This is lovely - that the 'story' you chose to elaborate is, in fact, the whole of a life, and in being that, it become the whole of every life near enough: we do all tend to have the same goals and dreams. There are so many circles in life and this is just another one, albeit the biggest, and the longest. And in the end, it is only ever about the human capacity for love in all its many, many forms.
It might be my accent - and I mean no disrespect to your fine work here - but I battled in the final verse on the line "And The Point, once again, is this:..." I had more success with " And The Point, again, is this:..." (which I suppose implies that "and" should be "Yet").
A great read, lots of real life in a small package. I wish you well with this and your continued writing.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 28-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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Thank you, Phil. I never take ANY suggestions as disrespectful. They're written by fellow readers and writers, after all - people who love words and work at this craft, so they have good ears for rhythm and experience with editing. I always appreciate it when anyone takes the time, as you have here, to share where you felt a snag.
And, interestingly, the line you cited was one that made me pause, as well. I like your idea of omitting 'once' and supplanting "and ' with 'yet. Thanks very much for caring enough to help. xo
Comment from JudyE
This is a very perceptive poem. Our goals and aspirations change as we grow and mature and, as you say, we eventually get back to pretty much where we started.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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This is a very perceptive poem. Our goals and aspirations change as we grow and mature and, as you say, we eventually get back to pretty much where we started.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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Yep - rounder, paler, and with less hair. That's a fair trade-off for a noggin full of wisdom, book-knowledge, and a trove of memories, though.
Thanks for your sweet words about my work. I appreciate them very much, Judy.
Comment from patcelaw
Life it does seem to be a circle, not a straight line. As babies we come into the world needing the help and care of others, then in our golden years we've come full circle to need once again, the help and care from others.
Patricia
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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Life it does seem to be a circle, not a straight line. As babies we come into the world needing the help and care of others, then in our golden years we've come full circle to need once again, the help and care from others.
Patricia
Comment Written 28-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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Exactly. You totally understand what I was hoping to convey. I appreciate your review very much.
Comment from Janet Foor
A sweet story in a poem that we can all relate to in our own lives. Our point of life changes with each stage of life.
Very nicely done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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A sweet story in a poem that we can all relate to in our own lives. Our point of life changes with each stage of life.
Very nicely done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 28-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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Thank you, Janet. It's validating for me I see that I got my point across the way I wanted. I appreciate your review.
Comment from Heather Knight
I didn't expect this happy ending. I thought you were going to be more negative about your golden years. Anyway, I have to say I love it like this.
Thanks so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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I didn't expect this happy ending. I thought you were going to be more negative about your golden years. Anyway, I have to say I love it like this.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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This was so nicely put, Maria. Thank you.
My favorite mentor of my life told me many years ago something that I took to heart: "Always choose joy." I've done that, and I credit it (and her) for having made my days so much easier and more fun. This mentor, now in her 80's, is STILL the most positive person I know. Everyone loves to be around her. She has arthritis, her husband is in the throes of Dementia, but there she is, always finding the silver lining every day of her life.
Comment from PeterRHW
I do like poetry I can understand and your achievement here is to make a very strong point (the point of life) without resorting to obscure wording. This poem came across loud and clear on the first reading and concluded beautifully in the final stanza. My only reservation was in thinking, "If only life were that simple!" Haha!
An excellent poem, good luck in the contest.
Best regards, Peter
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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I do like poetry I can understand and your achievement here is to make a very strong point (the point of life) without resorting to obscure wording. This poem came across loud and clear on the first reading and concluded beautifully in the final stanza. My only reservation was in thinking, "If only life were that simple!" Haha!
An excellent poem, good luck in the contest.
Best regards, Peter
Comment Written 28-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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I like straight-forward poetry, too, Peter. I'm happy you consider mine to be that style. As far as "if only it were that simple," all I can share is the words of my favorite mentor. She was the Master Teacher when I was the student teacher. "Always choose joy," she told me. And I took her words to heart and honestly feel that's why things fell well for me. Everyone is given tough times, but it's that old saying of: Just because you're given a cactus doesn't mean you have to sit on it. (This mentor is now in her 80's and STILL the most positive person I know. Everyone loves to be around her. She has arthritis, her husband is in the throes of Dementia, yet she is always perky, always nice to everyone she meets, treats her husband with love and patience. She's just this gem of a human being.)
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"Always look on the bright side of life." I try to live that way too. That quote from your mentor about the cactus is splendid, I will certainly take note and remember that one. When you see her again please say hello from me, she is a wonderful lady.
Best wishes, Peter
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Thank you for that, Peter. I will absolutely tell her you said, "hello."
I have found that The Greatest Generation are the toughest of the tough. They complain very little despite all they've endured.
Comment from Jennifer Carr
I like the idea of the point of life being more like a circle looping back around. I personally am at the part of the circle where I have kids but some of my close friends are in their golden years and I tji k you're right and this is a cool poem des rising life :)
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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I like the idea of the point of life being more like a circle looping back around. I personally am at the part of the circle where I have kids but some of my close friends are in their golden years and I tji k you're right and this is a cool poem des rising life :)
Comment Written 27-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Jennifer. This warm, thoughtful review makes me feel SO good. A mentor of mine taught me decades ago: Always choose joy." So I took that to heart, and it made a huge difference. Each stage of life is as delightful as we decide it's going to be.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
i think this is a lovey verse for the Story/Poem Prose.
Your poem has a good rhythm and I love the message here.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019
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i think this is a lovey verse for the Story/Poem Prose.
Your poem has a good rhythm and I love the message here.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 27-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019
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Thank you, Sharon. Those are really nice words to read, and I appreciate them and your well-wishes for the contest. xo
Comment from Dawn Munro
A lifetime of achievements, I would say, is spelled out in this lovely story-poem. It inspires. Focused effort yields results. This is a much more poetic way of saying, "the harder I work, the luckier I get" -- LOL -- one of my favorite cliches. :) Well done! Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019
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A lifetime of achievements, I would say, is spelled out in this lovely story-poem. It inspires. Focused effort yields results. This is a much more poetic way of saying, "the harder I work, the luckier I get" -- LOL -- one of my favorite cliches. :) Well done! Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2019
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Thank you, Dawn. My father's version of that saying was, "You make your luck in this life."
This is a really nice review, and I appreciate it very much.
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Your father was right, IMO. At least most of the time. :)
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Good point!
