Out of Sight
short poem13 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Your poem really resonated with me, Debs. The part, 'out of sight, never out of mind,' is so true and there is nothing we can do about it. I liked the way you presented this, it's really cool! lol. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Now lets be having one of your fun ones. :)) xx
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Your poem really resonated with me, Debs. The part, 'out of sight, never out of mind,' is so true and there is nothing we can do about it. I liked the way you presented this, it's really cool! lol. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Now lets be having one of your fun ones. :)) xx
Comment Written 23-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Hi Sandra, thank you so much for your kind and understanding review. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
I'm working on a fun right now....it's bubbling away on my back burner!)
Love, Debra x
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I'll watch out for it. :)) xxx
Comment from Lulube
like your notes to put one's mind at ease. lol funny how we take each others words so seriously. Your other voice has risen to the occasion. Some deep feelings to get over. good penning
lulube
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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like your notes to put one's mind at ease. lol funny how we take each others words so seriously. Your other voice has risen to the occasion. Some deep feelings to get over. good penning
lulube
Comment Written 23-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Cheers, Lulube :)
Glad you enjoyed the change in tone!
Bye for now, Debra
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Cheers to you too!!
lulube
Comment from Amenian Aypotheeno
Interesting format and word layout, which makes it seem like someone lost in their thoughts dwelling on something that is eating away at them inside. This one is hard for me because it makes you stop and think and I've been told I am very dangerous when i do that but this one so very good that rang the riot and bomb squads, so I could sit down and finks 'bout it! Love the finish like a waterfall of thought or blood running down the arm, however you wish to take it. A serious matter presented in a unique and expressive way... just make sure it is only your ink that is doing the flowing from now on!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Interesting format and word layout, which makes it seem like someone lost in their thoughts dwelling on something that is eating away at them inside. This one is hard for me because it makes you stop and think and I've been told I am very dangerous when i do that but this one so very good that rang the riot and bomb squads, so I could sit down and finks 'bout it! Love the finish like a waterfall of thought or blood running down the arm, however you wish to take it. A serious matter presented in a unique and expressive way... just make sure it is only your ink that is doing the flowing from now on!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Hey Dale :)
So glad you have the riot and bomb squads on side!
Was just trying a different style...glad it worked ok :) Nothing flowing over here apart from tea from my teapot...will be wine later ;)
Thanks for the fun feedback :) Debs
Comment from geetha silvaratnam
A very well written short poem. Though it is short, the message is clear - the guilt, the regrets are described so well. An emotional poem, thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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A very well written short poem. Though it is short, the message is clear - the guilt, the regrets are described so well. An emotional poem, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Hi Geetha :)
Thank you for your great feedback. I appreciate it!
Best wishes, Debra :)
Comment from JudyE
It's not 'just' a poem but it's an interesting one. I like the way it has been set out. I can't make any suggestions. I like the 'regrets' stanza too.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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It's not 'just' a poem but it's an interesting one. I like the way it has been set out. I can't make any suggestions. I like the 'regrets' stanza too.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Hi Judy :)
Thank you for your great feedback. I appreciate it!
Best wishes, Debra :)
Comment from 24chas
A different voice indeed, Debra. I really like it, too. The beginning of the poem was great, but the ending really was chilling, but in a good way. Nice job and keep it up.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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A different voice indeed, Debra. I really like it, too. The beginning of the poem was great, but the ending really was chilling, but in a good way. Nice job and keep it up.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Chas :)
I fancied trying something a little different from my usual light, rhythmic and bouncy style.
Glad it worked and that you enjoyed it!
Best wishes, Deb
Comment from RichardFann
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Debs,
Fascinated by this poem that comes from within, from guilt, from regret.
The mystery for me - is it imagined, or is it real, in your experience?
The tension challenges the reader.
An unusual, maybe an original, format for the end.
Like a
drip
drip
drip
of blood.
Fab experiment for a new sort of poem.
Much appreciated is the free verse style, with none of that silly rhyming stuff.
Rhymes in a poem often sound childish or funny, when neither mood is appropriate for the poem.
This is another poem to put in your collection:
"My Hundred Best Poems"
by Debra White.
Thanks
Richard.
.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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.
Debs,
Fascinated by this poem that comes from within, from guilt, from regret.
The mystery for me - is it imagined, or is it real, in your experience?
The tension challenges the reader.
An unusual, maybe an original, format for the end.
Like a
drip
drip
drip
of blood.
Fab experiment for a new sort of poem.
Much appreciated is the free verse style, with none of that silly rhyming stuff.
Rhymes in a poem often sound childish or funny, when neither mood is appropriate for the poem.
This is another poem to put in your collection:
"My Hundred Best Poems"
by Debra White.
Thanks
Richard.
.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Richard :)
Thank you for the review.
I really do appreciate your thoughtful comments. And those stars ;)
Best wishes as always, Debra
Comment from patcelaw
It is a terrible thing that a person gets to the point that if they cut themselves there would be no stopping the bleeding. Many a person has gotten to a point in life where they feel that if they due no one would care. Patricia
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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It is a terrible thing that a person gets to the point that if they cut themselves there would be no stopping the bleeding. Many a person has gotten to a point in life where they feel that if they due no one would care. Patricia
Comment Written 22-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Hi Patricia :)
Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate it!
Best wishes, Debra :)
Comment from Heather Knight
Thank goodness it's just a poem, it's quite dark. But I like it. It sounds quite real.
This is my favorite line: a tumor on my conscience. It is quite visual.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Thank goodness it's just a poem, it's quite dark. But I like it. It sounds quite real.
This is my favorite line: a tumor on my conscience. It is quite visual.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Hi Maria :)
Thank you for your great feedback. I appreciate it! I just fancied trying something a little different... Glad you liked it!
Best wishes, Debra :)
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Your note is appreciated.
-I like the style of your poem, Debra.
-You show the impact that guilt
and regret have on you very well.
-The imagery and description is effective.
-I like how you end the poem,
and the formatting of it, as well.
-Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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-Your note is appreciated.
-I like the style of your poem, Debra.
-You show the impact that guilt
and regret have on you very well.
-The imagery and description is effective.
-I like how you end the poem,
and the formatting of it, as well.
-Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Hi Dolly :)
Thank you for your kind and specific feedback. I appreciate it!
Best wishes, Debra :)
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You are welcome, Debra, but this is Pam:)
