Comment from krys123

Excellent

Cheers, Tony;
> What a magnificently profound and prophetical statement and free verse poem that particularly slipped me in the face after throwing ice cold water on and shuttering up this curtains to a new metaphorical wonder.
> Most enjoyable and very entertaining, Tony and take care and have a good one.
Alx

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019

Thanks, Alx. Glad you enjoyed it. A most graphic review! Loved it! All the best, Tony

reply by krys123 on 25-Feb-2019

You're very welcome, Tony and I'm glad you liked it.
Alx

Comment from rhonnie69

Excellent

HELLO TFAWCUS: I like your posting here in that it reminds me of this Biblical passage: "There is a way which seems right unto a person, but the end thereof...are the ways of death."
PROVERBS chapter 14: and at verse 12. Thank you for posting this. It is good. You are good too. You are appreciated. God bless you. Cordially: rhonnie69.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019

Thanks, rhonnie69. Glad you enjoyed it and found meaning in it. All the best, Tony

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

Excellent free verse poem Tony. Lovely alliteration and internal rhyme which make for an enjoyable read. Perfect artwork to compliment your work.
The heat and desire metaphor is well done.

Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019

Thanks, Janet. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for your comments on some of the technical aspects. All the best, Tony

Comment from estory

Excellent

Nice job with this. I liked all the echoing effects of all those 'eye' sounds. And they were pretty dense. Nice image of the individual being caught up in that fire, burned by the desire, ending up in ashes and dust. Good progression there. estory

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019

Thanks, estory. Glad you found it interesting. I enjoyed reading your comments. All the best, Tony

Comment from geetha silvaratnam

Excellent

Very well done! I enjoyed reading this, it explained so well about desire and lust. And the artwork you chose is mindblowing, simply perfect for this. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019

Thanks, Geetha. Glad you enjoyed it. All the best, Tony

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

Some great hints of cross rhyme hidden in here along with alliteration both serve to liven this free verse cautionary tale that warns against following the first heat of passion. I liked this relatively short piece a lot. It works.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019

Thanks, Jim. Glad you enjoyed it. Some of these poetic devices that we're looking at in class seem to me to be particularly important in free verse, to differentiate it from prose split arbitrarily into lines. All the best, Tony

reply by Pantygynt on 24-Feb-2019

The final group of three sessions in our class are going to centre on rhyme in free verse. So you may find this poem actually meets the requirements of some of the assignments. I thought so when I first saw it. While it is great to have ones beliefs confirmed I hope you don't end up thinking that you have wasted your money.

reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019

It?s interesting to review these techniques. It?s also been good to get to know more about Philip Larkin. I?m currently reading a collection of his prose works ?Required Writing? which has some fascinating perspectives on poetry.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written free verse poem. The fire and desire stay alive as long as we feed them when we allowed the flames to burn out and die we only have a handful of ash.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019

Thanks, Sandra. Glad you enjoyed it. All the best, Tony

Comment from ciliverde

Exceptional

This makes me think of crimes committed in the name of...I hate to say it, but recently all the news of the crimes of Catholic priests. "Each hot flame licked what he mistook for sighs. Those flames are lies." And through such lies we all convince ourselves that our misdeeds are just. The ash and dust hold the truth...
Well done, Tony, as always,
Carol

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019

Thanks, Carol. I appreciate your very kind review and six accompanying stars. Your interpretation of the poem is most topical at the moment. It seems that many of the bishops around the world are still in a state of denial. All the best, Tony

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Really well done! I liked how you fit in internal rhymes and even visual rhymes. Great use of assonance and repetition to get across the increasing power of the fire of desire which eventually burns out to ash.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019

Thanks, Helen. Glad you enjoyed this one. Heavy use being made here of some of the rhyming techniques we've been discussing in Jim's class. All the best, Tony

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Powerful imagery and closing line, my friend. Quite impacting. Good meditation on the transience and illusory nature of lust. Excellent word craft, especially the subtle shifting assonance of hard and soft I and U throughout. Fine presentation too.

I especially applaud the finesse and subtlety of your internal near rhymes in this line:


At first, when warm, it did no harm,


and the near rhyme assonance here too:

which craftily transmute his chosen truth,
with lust consuming all he thought.

Good flow. No nits or suggestions.

Bravo and good luck.

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019

Very many thanks for the affirming words of your review, RD. Much appreciated, as always. Tony

reply by rama devi on 24-Feb-2019

:-)))