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This Time - That Time 3

Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Veronica's Despair"
Third book in the time travel trilogy

37 total reviews 
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Excellent
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Oh no! Poor Mildred. Veronica gets the door open just to have her friend pass out and hit her head. Well done as always, looking forward to the next chapter. Rox

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
    Thank you, Rox, for another lovely review. Next part is coming in a few days. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from WryWriter
Excellent
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An exciting and sad chapter. Poor Mildred! : (
I must ask. Is "bloody hell" like the American "damn" or stronger? I read it all the time, but have no idea what it means other than a curse. Had a neighbor who, every time her father came to visit from England, it was "bloody" this, "bloody" that. Never had the guts to ask a man what it meant. Wasn't sure if I wanted to hear the answer in mixed company. LOL!

Suggestions:

I searched the faces of the people pouring passed(past) me.

Do you want me to go and check (if) she's okay?"

"No, we'll just have to hope she doesn't put herself at any (further) risk than

Now (that) I had scared all the workers away with my 'chalk' antics, there would

"Mildred, thank God I've found you.(!) Are you okay?"

"I don't rightly know ...(.) I keep coming over all dizzy. Oh, Miss Veronica, I'm

Now they were no longer moving,(;) everyone had let go of the handles in front of them (omit ,) and were beginning to cry hysterically.

So, working on the basis that I had enough power to pick up heavy scissors and knock two bolts open, I emptied my mind the way the ghost of Lady Ann had taught me (omit in such matters,)(.) (omit and) (I) was delighted to find I could take hold of the handles on the first wheelchair.

I have(had) no idea how the patient was reacting to the experience of moving with no apparent assistance(omit ,) because I couldn't see her face,(.) (B)but if she thought it strange, she said nothing and just hung on for dear life.

Helped by the slight downward slope, the wheelchair soon gathered pace(. omit and) (W)within a couple of minutes(,) I could see lights up ahead where a porter was (omit seeing through) (tending) the last of the patients who had been queuing patiently as the trolleys were taken through the door.

All the other porters were obviously being used to take the patients along the new passageway, which was also beginning to fill with smoke from the hospital corridor, so I doubted if he could help. (All other porters were taking patients along the new passageway--also filling with smoke from the hospital corridor--so I doubted any could help.)

"How many?" he asked, his (troubled) eyes flitting from one patient to another(.) (omit with a troubled expression.) *(Can he can hear her?) "Two, plus Mildred. I don't think she'll be strong enough to get them here. You've got to help her!"

Without any hesitation, he told one of the able-bodied patients to push the woman in the wheelchair into the other corridor, (omit before a) then he picked up one of the abandoned oxygen tanks and a mask Tommy had been using. I was seeing first-hand (firsthand) the bravery of a man who would make sure everyone was saved before he (worried about saving himself) tried to save himself.

Within seconds(,) he had taken off the oxygen mask and held it over her mouth(.) (omit for a couple of minutes, before) (H)he took (omit another) (a quick) gulp himself and (then) passed it to the woman in the second wheelchair.

"You get on ...(.) I'll be right behind you."

The man turned and looked at her with a concerned frown, but Mildred nodded and flicked her hand. "Go on then,(;) I'm fine (omit now)!"

"Come on, Mildred,(.) (Y)you have to get out of here!"

The Mildred I knew(--)the woman who had the constitution of an ox and the determination of a warrior(--)seemed to have given up.

"MILDRED!" I screeched as I fell to my knees(,) by her side.

The slow spread of bright red blood coming from the back of her head had me screaming hysterically (omit at her inert body). There was nobody left to help her(.) (omit and) (E)even if there was, I had no way of telling them.

My dearest friend was dying, and the bloody powers-that-be had deserted us, betrayed us, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.... (My dearest friend was dying. The bloody powers-that-be had deserted us! Betrayed us! And...there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.)

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
    Thank you for another really helpful review, Linda. I appreciate the time you put into reviewing my work, and the input.

    You ask if the porter could hear the lady telling him that there were more patients to be saved. It was the woman in the wheelchair who said it, not Veronica. I think you missed that little bit, so yes, he would definitely hear her screeching at him. :))

    Bloody hell, and, Damn it! are the same. A light swear word that you wouldn't be shocked by your grandmother saying it. lol. My sons' told me it was my 'posh golf course swear word' when a shot went wrong!! Thanks again, my Linda. Big hugs, Sandra x
reply by WryWriter on 21-Feb-2019
    Bloody hell! That explains it! LOL! Yes, I did miss that it was the woman in the wheelchair who said it. Thanks for clearing that up for me.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
    LOL! Linda, you are so funny. :)) xx
Comment from aryr
Excellent
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This was an excellent chapter Sandra. It was wonderful to read that the patients were all saved and that Tommy was concerned about Mildred. Poor Mildred succumbs to the smoke she has inhaled and collapses with a resulting head injury. Will she be saved? Will Tommy rescue her? Good questions, good possibility. I am sure that the powers to be are now aware of Veronica's anger. Perhaps they can help in some way. Very well done, thanks, hugs and smiles.

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
    Thank you so much, Alie. The powers-that-be had better know! I don't think they would be wanting to meet Veronica her face to face at the moment! lol. Yes, you have put some excellent questions, now to see if they get answered! The next part won't take so long to come. Thanks again, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by aryr on 20-Feb-2019
    You are most welcome Sandra
Comment from kiwijenny
Excellent
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Wow this is incredible...a ghost who can't truly move much is caring and trying to save lives especially her best friend in all the world...who is now lying with blood spilling out of her head,,,,,not looking good for Mildred...
God bless,...wish I had a six

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
    Thank you so much for this really lovely review, Jenny. I'm so pleased you are enjoying this story. Big hugs my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Mildred has to be all right. She just has to be. Please!!! I am really worried her. You are doing a wonderful job writing this. The emotion and the descriptions are excellent. Good work.

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
    Thank you so very much for the lovely six stars, Barbara. Yes, Mildred is in trouble, and Veronica can't do anything to help her. We will have to see what happens in the next part coming in a few days. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You've certainly revved the excitement and tension up to a high pitch in this one! This looks like a good time for the powers-that-be to step in and take them both back to another time!

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
    You are absolutely right, Tony, so I hope they are reading this! lol. Thank you so much for the lovely 6 stars, my friend, and excellent input. I really appreciate them. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from l.raven
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

HI Sandra, well I'm so glad they have enough candles...not that the whole place isn't on fire...but look on the positive side...you can just hold the candles in the air to light them...hmmmm...and I'm so glad their all getting out of the smoke...but now Mildred is dying....again...I think the powers-that-be are on meth or something...and if their not...they might want to think about it...and Veronica better learn to lift weights real fast and get Mildred out of there...omg...one of your best chapters my sweet friend...soooooo exciting...and very well written you...NEXT....love you bunches...and bunches...Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
    Hi Linda, LOL, you are sooooo funny, I love reading your reviews. Now, things are changing, so watch out for the next part coming soon, I think you will like it. Big hugs, my dear friend. Love you bunches of snowdrops! :)) Sandra xxx

    I've been meaning to email you, will do it after this. I'll be wanting to know about your arm, so be prepared. :))
reply by l.raven on 20-Feb-2019
    your sooooo welcome you...and thanks for the bunches of snow drops we got last night...LOL...I'll be waiting your every move my wonderful sweet friend...loveeeeee muchhhhh ...xxoo
Comment from Chrissy710
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Sandra, Wow have just caught up with the last 8 chapters so this will review them all I hope you don't mind this way. You story is so interesting and I cant wait to find out wherecyou go with it. You must be enjoying writing this as you keep us all suspended and now waiting to see how Mildred recovers ( Of course she will wont she ?? ) A terrific post Sandra, Cheers and ai now hang out for the next chapter Christine

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
    Gosh, that was so nice of you, eight parts! Thank you so much for the lovely six stars, and fantastic review. Will Mildred recover? Hmm. Watch out for the next part in a few days. lol. :)) Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very exciting. Terrific write. You have talent, my friend. Mildred may die, but maybe not. She's not that important to the story. Veronica will get home to her family, and the P that Be will drink champagne to celebrate, even though they never did a damn thing! Typical military operation. :)

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
    LOL! You got it spot on! I think you've been reading my mind, are you sure you're not the guinea-pig for Jim?? LOL.

    Thank you so much for the six stars, my friend, that was so nice of you, and of course, you are always right, so I'll just put....
    'The End' here, now! Thanks for this lovely, fun review, my friend, you always make me laugh. (But, I'm going to keep my mind closed tight in future!! ) Big hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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I don't think the "powers that be" have deserted Veronica and Mildred, but I know they are "playing it by ear" and have no permanent music sheet, but I think that's part of your exciting plan to make it interesting and dynamic, and I must admit you've succeeded Sandra. You've really become an accomplished writer. Will they get out? Of course. Well done my friend, great scribing. Blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
    The powers-that-be, have been very quiet lately, and need to be giving Veronica and Mildred a bit of support. She's not very happy with them! We will see what happens in the next part. Thank you so much, my friend, for your lovely review, and for the lovely compliment. Bless your lovely heart! Big hugs, Sandra :)) Sandra xx
reply by royowen on 19-Feb-2019
    Always welcome Sandra