"Amazing!" #1. 2019
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "To Achieve(A) "New Book of Poetry.
3 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Enjoyed your detailing of the three C's and your extended definition of the 'connected' part of the trio -- most would do well to heed those instructions there! ;) ;) Thanx for sharing! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
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Enjoyed your detailing of the three C's and your extended definition of the 'connected' part of the trio -- most would do well to heed those instructions there! ;) ;) Thanx for sharing! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 19-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
-
Thank you too Miss Rodgers.
Doctor Ricky
1024
Comment from SelenaWorthington
Hey Ricky, this was good and only 6 grammar mistakes, and I could tell you don't like losing stars, so here's a fiver, and you should leave a space after using elpses, but you can fix that yourself, the others were just commas.
"To Achieve" (A)
Written February 16th, 2019
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright C. 2019 FanStory
'All Rights Reserved'
"For there to first be a connection...
"Or a link...
"We first both should think?"
...
"Never doubt what lies inside another being...
"Or take for granted...
"We have, and we always will have feelings...
...
"As we accumulate our various wealth...
"And, disperse our desires...
"Sometimes thongs go wrong?"
"And, sometimes our World goes up in fires...
...
"So, the next time there is a disagreement?"
"Remember the 'Three C's.'
"Stay Cool, Calm, and Collected."
"Once You Achieve?" (B)
"And, now that you have achieved?"
"And, now that you have collected?"
"Now that you have read my lesson and followed the 'Three C's.'
"Staying first Cool, Calm, and Collected...
"Exactly what have you collected?"
...
"Exactly, what have you collected from Me?"
"And, what are you ready to spare?"
"Share?"
"How about Faith?"
"Hmm...
"Let's see...
...
"Firstly, after this day is over and it is time for Beddie Bye...
"Tonight...
"Let's now try to get it right?"
"All right?"
...
"Now, get two on your two knees, please...
"Take your smelly slippers off...
"Put your smelly slippers far and below...
"As far back as you can...
"Under your Beddie...
"Amen?"
...
"Are you ready to sleep?"
"Oh, a cookie and warm milk?"
"Now, it's time to wakeup?"
"So, what do you do?"
"No, before that!"
"Right!"
...
"Now, get down again on your two knees, please...
"Why you ask?
"To get your smelly slippers and you have no choice but to thank Heavenly Father for all He hath done for Thee!"
...
"Secondly, Charity."
"Now, stop watching TV and get off your lazy ass and go to the Mosque, Synagogue, Temple, Church, or what ever!"
"Why you ask?"
"It's Sabbath Sunday and time to take in the Sacrament!"
"What's that?"
"To honor the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!"
...
"And lastly?"
"Respect."
"Pay your Tidings even if you have but a measly, copper, penny!"
"Why?"
"To show God that your trying the best that you can...
"Giving the most that you can share...
"And, that you are thankful for all.
"For all that you have...
"Achieved...
Cheers, SelenaW
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
|
Hey Ricky, this was good and only 6 grammar mistakes, and I could tell you don't like losing stars, so here's a fiver, and you should leave a space after using elpses, but you can fix that yourself, the others were just commas.
"To Achieve" (A)
Written February 16th, 2019
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright C. 2019 FanStory
'All Rights Reserved'
"For there to first be a connection...
"Or a link...
"We first both should think?"
...
"Never doubt what lies inside another being...
"Or take for granted...
"We have, and we always will have feelings...
...
"As we accumulate our various wealth...
"And, disperse our desires...
"Sometimes thongs go wrong?"
"And, sometimes our World goes up in fires...
...
"So, the next time there is a disagreement?"
"Remember the 'Three C's.'
"Stay Cool, Calm, and Collected."
"Once You Achieve?" (B)
"And, now that you have achieved?"
"And, now that you have collected?"
"Now that you have read my lesson and followed the 'Three C's.'
"Staying first Cool, Calm, and Collected...
"Exactly what have you collected?"
...
"Exactly, what have you collected from Me?"
"And, what are you ready to spare?"
"Share?"
"How about Faith?"
"Hmm...
"Let's see...
...
"Firstly, after this day is over and it is time for Beddie Bye...
"Tonight...
"Let's now try to get it right?"
"All right?"
...
"Now, get two on your two knees, please...
"Take your smelly slippers off...
"Put your smelly slippers far and below...
"As far back as you can...
"Under your Beddie...
"Amen?"
...
"Are you ready to sleep?"
"Oh, a cookie and warm milk?"
"Now, it's time to wakeup?"
"So, what do you do?"
"No, before that!"
"Right!"
...
"Now, get down again on your two knees, please...
"Why you ask?
"To get your smelly slippers and you have no choice but to thank Heavenly Father for all He hath done for Thee!"
...
"Secondly, Charity."
"Now, stop watching TV and get off your lazy ass and go to the Mosque, Synagogue, Temple, Church, or what ever!"
"Why you ask?"
"It's Sabbath Sunday and time to take in the Sacrament!"
"What's that?"
"To honor the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!"
...
"And lastly?"
"Respect."
"Pay your Tidings even if you have but a measly, copper, penny!"
"Why?"
"To show God that your trying the best that you can...
"Giving the most that you can share...
"And, that you are thankful for all.
"For all that you have...
"Achieved...
Cheers, SelenaW
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
-
Thanks for this.
Ricky
Comment from Sugarray77
You have written a very faith filled verse with good descriptions and also you encourage each reader to bow before the Lord in the evening before bed. Well done.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
|
You have written a very faith filled verse with good descriptions and also you encourage each reader to bow before the Lord in the evening before bed. Well done.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
-
Thanks again.
Dr. Ricky
