Eyes on You
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "The Hunt"Tommy tries to rescue their family.
10 total reviews
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Melissa,
This is indeed a sad tale. I believe that any parent would be tempted to resort to a life of crime to save their child. The plot of 'John Q' dealt with exactly that point.
In a world when insurance companies deny claims and astronomical medical costs--what do you do when your precious child is sick?
Thank you for sharing. Your writing was clear, concise and told the tale well,
~patty~
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Hi, Melissa,
This is indeed a sad tale. I believe that any parent would be tempted to resort to a life of crime to save their child. The plot of 'John Q' dealt with exactly that point.
In a world when insurance companies deny claims and astronomical medical costs--what do you do when your precious child is sick?
Thank you for sharing. Your writing was clear, concise and told the tale well,
~patty~
Comment Written 21-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for such a fantastic review and for all your high praise. That means a lot to me, coming from you. Tommy will do whatever it takes to save Jen, no matter the personal cost to him.
Thank you again for reading my chapter, that in itself is an honor, take care.
Comment from country ranch writer
Sounds like they are closing in on him how is he going to get out of this robbing to help his wife isn't going to make things go away.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Sounds like they are closing in on him how is he going to get out of this robbing to help his wife isn't going to make things go away.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter. You're right, it isn't. Tommy didn't think ahead, what'd happen if he gets caught. Hopefully, he'll be able to come up with enough money for her after care before that happens.
Thank you again for all your support, and friendship it means the world to me take care.
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Smiles will keep my fingers crossed for Tommy
Comment from Ulla
Hi there,so the cops are really on to Tommy now? I just wonder what will happen to jen when that's happen. And who killed Harris I wonder. Well, I'll have to wait and see. All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Hi there,so the cops are really on to Tommy now? I just wonder what will happen to jen when that's happen. And who killed Harris I wonder. Well, I'll have to wait and see. All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Thank you for stopping by, reading my chapter, I truly appreciate it. You'll have the answers to your questions soon.
Thank you again for all your support, your friendship. It means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from krprice
Great post.
And the cops focus in more on Tommy. We know he didn't kill the Harris', but who did? What will happen to Jen and the boys if he goes to jail?
Karlene
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Great post.
And the cops focus in more on Tommy. We know he didn't kill the Harris', but who did? What will happen to Jen and the boys if he goes to jail?
Karlene
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Thank you for your great review, I'm glad to see you're really in to the story. All your questions will be answered soon.
Thank you again for all your help and support it's greatly appreciated, take care.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
The cops are going to catch Tommy soon, so what will happen to Jen? I find it hard to believe that there is no govt money available when it's a matter of life and death. You have me rooting for a thief. LOL!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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The cops are going to catch Tommy soon, so what will happen to Jen? I find it hard to believe that there is no govt money available when it's a matter of life and death. You have me rooting for a thief. LOL!
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Thank you for your great review, I'm so glad you're rooting for the killer, poor thing, someone needs to be on his side.
Thank you again for your great review, all your help, support and friendship, it means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from Sugarray77
This is a good section that progresses the story through this bit of a lull and sets us up for the next tense moment. Great job on dialogue and details about the characters. Well done,Misty.
Melissa
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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This is a good section that progresses the story through this bit of a lull and sets us up for the next tense moment. Great job on dialogue and details about the characters. Well done,Misty.
Melissa
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind review. It doesn't have the action most of the others do, but see poor Tommy begged for an easy chapter said he needed the rest. I figure all he's been through he deserves some time off. Don't worry they'll be more action soon, I promise.
Thank you again for all your encouragement, your support and friendship, it means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from Randa Dayle
I know this is just a chapter, but...what surgery does the wife need? The whole skunk memory doesn't help me relate to our main character. I'm not feeling connected with the characters.
What life of crime is he committing, I just need more details.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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I know this is just a chapter, but...what surgery does the wife need? The whole skunk memory doesn't help me relate to our main character. I'm not feeling connected with the characters.
What life of crime is he committing, I just need more details.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Thank you for your review. You're right, my summary is to brief. So I've changed it hoping others won't feel the same. This is my new summary I hope it helps. Please let me know what you think. I am sorry for your confusion.
Finding out his pregnant wife Jen needs a heart transplant, and he needs $10,000 for her aftercare Tommy turns to a life of crime. He robs houses, selling the stolen goods for cash. He and his two friends are in the middle of a job when the owners come home. Tommy is taken to the station for questioning then released. He tries to rob a house on his own when a dog attacks him. When he finally makes it inside, Tommy discovers three dead bodies. He grabs the money and runs. The neighbor sees him leaving and informs the police. He's taken to the station for the second time. With an alibi for the time of the murders he's released. The doctor tells him that Jen needs to have the operation within a week. In desperation, he asks his old boss, a Mexican drug lord for his job back. Having a drug addict mom and a alcoholic father he had to work for Hernandez to support himself until he was old enough to get a legitimate job. Meanwhile, the police find Tommy's prints at the murder house so they want to question him again.
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Now I'm understanding what's going on! Good luck on your writing!
Comment from royowen
They've worked out that Tommy's prints were around the crime scene, but they can't find him for the moment, so they start using all the facilities available to them to track him down, of course he's with Jimmy, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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They've worked out that Tommy's prints were around the crime scene, but they can't find him for the moment, so they start using all the facilities available to them to track him down, of course he's with Jimmy, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Thank you for your great review, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. This chapter didn't have any excitement, but don't worry more is on the way.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship, it means the world to me, take care.
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Well done
Comment from Gert sherwood
Okay Mistdawn
You with out a doubt know how to keep us interested with Tommy and his very ill wife Jen I loved the part where Jen, Tommy with their children were trying to get rid of a skunk with bacon
Gert
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Okay Mistdawn
You with out a doubt know how to keep us interested with Tommy and his very ill wife Jen I loved the part where Jen, Tommy with their children were trying to get rid of a skunk with bacon
Gert
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for your fantastic review, I'm glad you enjoyed the skunk part. That actually did happen to me, fortunately, no one was in the tent at the time, but our stuff did get sprayed. Took forever to get the smell out.
Thank you again for your wonderful review, all your help, support and friendship, it means a lot to me, take care.
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You are so welcome Mistydawn
Gert
Comment from JudyE
Thanks for an interesting story. I did pick up a couple of points.
Paragraph 1: Speech marks are needed after 'warehouse'.
"I have twenty minutes to pick up Jimmy and get to the warehouse. Tommy anxiously peels out
Apostrophe needed: doctor's
The doctors haunting words suddenly come to mind.
'continue' should be 'continues'
The hustle and bustle of the squad room continue throughout the day.
For a crime boss, Antonio seems remarkably considerate but I guess some of them look after their hirelings. Thanks for an interesting read.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Thanks for an interesting story. I did pick up a couple of points.
Paragraph 1: Speech marks are needed after 'warehouse'.
"I have twenty minutes to pick up Jimmy and get to the warehouse. Tommy anxiously peels out
Apostrophe needed: doctor's
The doctors haunting words suddenly come to mind.
'continue' should be 'continues'
The hustle and bustle of the squad room continue throughout the day.
For a crime boss, Antonio seems remarkably considerate but I guess some of them look after their hirelings. Thanks for an interesting read.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for your great review and for catching my mistakes. I will go back and fix them now.
Thank you again for reading my chapter. Take care.
