Happy Birthday, Susan
The trip of a lifetime13 total reviews
Comment from LeannaP
Twenty-seven times, once for each year of her age...
This was my favorite line. I liked how you started the paragraph with this line because instead od just stating her age , you instead got creative. This was a nice entry for the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Twenty-seven times, once for each year of her age...
This was my favorite line. I liked how you started the paragraph with this line because instead od just stating her age , you instead got creative. This was a nice entry for the contest.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this story. Much appreciate the review.
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Your welcome
Comment from Patty Palmer
A well written story! It kept my interest from beginning to the end! It had a fast pace and flowed easily. I truly enjoyed reading it, Keep up the good work!'
Patty
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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A well written story! It kept my interest from beginning to the end! It had a fast pace and flowed easily. I truly enjoyed reading it, Keep up the good work!'
Patty
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and pen a review.
Comment from Gail Denham
Really? I kept waiting for something to go wrong. Yet obviously this story had not flaws of that kind. You used a lot of good metaphors and description. My comment - perhaps cut out a few of them. Too many can dull the action - and action you surely had.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Really? I kept waiting for something to go wrong. Yet obviously this story had not flaws of that kind. You used a lot of good metaphors and description. My comment - perhaps cut out a few of them. Too many can dull the action - and action you surely had.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this tale. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and pen a review.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Oh my, poor girl, she is no more. But I always have a hard time feeling sorry for anyone who cheats in a marriage. This is super well done. I saw no errors, but I never do. I hope you do well in the contest. Rox
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Oh my, poor girl, she is no more. But I always have a hard time feeling sorry for anyone who cheats in a marriage. This is super well done. I saw no errors, but I never do. I hope you do well in the contest. Rox
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this tale. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and pen a review.
Comment from dmt1967
This is a good story and I liked the end. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this little piece as it kept me entertained from start to finish. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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This is a good story and I liked the end. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this little piece as it kept me entertained from start to finish. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate your review.
Comment from 24chas
This was very intense, Brett. It was well written and you portrayed the violence in a proper manner. You could feel Kyle's anger in the early part of the piece until he exploded. Nice job.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2019
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This was very intense, Brett. It was well written and you portrayed the violence in a proper manner. You could feel Kyle's anger in the early part of the piece until he exploded. Nice job.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this little story. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and pen a review.
Comment from Teresa Alford
The wording of your story is mostly Romatic, fluid, rather pretty, yet the story in this chapter is not any of those things. I find that very intriguing. Love it.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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The wording of your story is mostly Romatic, fluid, rather pretty, yet the story in this chapter is not any of those things. I find that very intriguing. Love it.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this little story. Much appreciate the review.
Comment from Ulla
Wow, this is violent, Brett, but it's well written, and I could see this turning into a book. What we don't know is why he went into such frenzy. I can only surmise that he acted out of jealousy. Good luck in the contest. All best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Wow, this is violent, Brett, but it's well written, and I could see this turning into a book. What we don't know is why he went into such frenzy. I can only surmise that he acted out of jealousy. Good luck in the contest. All best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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I don't know if I'll turn this story into a book or not. Four reviewers have asked me about doing that. However, I may expand the tale some. Maybe as much as up to 2,000 words and submit it to the Seal of Quality committee to see what happens. One never knows. The contest isn't until June so I would have the time to do so.
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That sounds like a plan. But it's certainly book material:)
Comment from damommy
That's taking revenge to the nth degree. Good imagery throughout. Will there be more to this story? I'd like to see how his trip progresses. Perfect picture for this scene.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
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That's taking revenge to the nth degree. Good imagery throughout. Will there be more to this story? I'd like to see how his trip progresses. Perfect picture for this scene.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
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Glad you enjoyed this little story. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and pen a review.
Comment from Miranda Langston
"Thick, like roux over a blue flame, quadruplet Doric pilasters adorned the oversized piazza of the dreary foursquare." This is possibly the best line. This is an absolutely incredible piece of writing and the best contest entry I've read. I hope you win :)
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
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"Thick, like roux over a blue flame, quadruplet Doric pilasters adorned the oversized piazza of the dreary foursquare." This is possibly the best line. This is an absolutely incredible piece of writing and the best contest entry I've read. I hope you win :)
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
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Appreciate the six stars, the review, and the vote of confidence.
