Alamuir
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Alamuir (working title) Scene2"Historical Romance - Georgian era
3 total reviews
Comment from JudyE
This has a lot of potential and I think you've set up the background very nicely. I'm left wondering about the 'wife' and what sort of character she is so I'd better go back and read the first bit. I did pick up one small thing: brushed the hay from his clothing the strode.... I've thinking 'the' should be 'then'.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
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This has a lot of potential and I think you've set up the background very nicely. I'm left wondering about the 'wife' and what sort of character she is so I'd better go back and read the first bit. I did pick up one small thing: brushed the hay from his clothing the strode.... I've thinking 'the' should be 'then'.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind review and the good catch. I appreciate your your taking the time to read.
Comment from Sally Law
Excellent story and rich characters that are believable. You have a great romantic adventure cooking here.well done young man.
A bit of tidying is needed in the body of the letter. I am not sure what happened, but easily fixable. Most of your sentences do not extend to the margin. They should as it disrupts the look amd takes away from the crisp look of the text. Word from the wise: Always view your work in "Preview Mode." This will allow you to see how it will look before anyone else. You can edit for as long as you want in this mode. My last post was in that mode for ten days. I had changed things a million times, and the artwork five times. It's great.
All my best,
Sal :+)
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Excellent story and rich characters that are believable. You have a great romantic adventure cooking here.well done young man.
A bit of tidying is needed in the body of the letter. I am not sure what happened, but easily fixable. Most of your sentences do not extend to the margin. They should as it disrupts the look amd takes away from the crisp look of the text. Word from the wise: Always view your work in "Preview Mode." This will allow you to see how it will look before anyone else. You can edit for as long as you want in this mode. My last post was in that mode for ten days. I had changed things a million times, and the artwork five times. It's great.
All my best,
Sal :+)
Comment Written 13-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Sal. I nearly doubled over laughing at the young man comment. I'm a 67 year-old woman :-).
I have the worst time with layout in FanStory - for the life of me I couldn't figure out how to indent, italicize, or transfer any of the margins or spacing from Word. Where do you find that stuff? I've never been computer illiterate, but I'm baffled here.
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I am so sorry, you know I am blind right? I love your writing anyway. I must have confused your name. Sorry. I have retinitis pigmentosa and low vision because of it. Well, we are in good company,,I,am right behind you in age. I will me 64 this year, married and Grammy to four beautiful grandkids. I am on blindness disability and cannot work in the capacity of CEO of my family?s business. My husband is the other owner and runs our day to day operations. I stay home and write my heart out.
Glad you cleared that up!
Sal ;+)
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It says ?he?:at the top of your portfolio page dear. Change that as soon as you can...LOL! I thought it was 100 percent me, as I don?t see well. :+)
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Oh, good catch - I didn't see that "he." I think every third child was named Chris back in the day regardless of sex. Sometimes that confusion comes in handy. :-)
Comment from RodG
I have always enjoyed historical fiction and this scene definitely fits into that genre well. I especially like how you open the scene with the birth of the foal. Gradually we learn who Estabrook is and his backstory. His willingness to do what the Duke asks shows he is a man of honor and we know somehow the duchess will become a romantic interest. You also handle the speech patterns of the period very well. I wish you well on this project, Chris.
Rod
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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I have always enjoyed historical fiction and this scene definitely fits into that genre well. I especially like how you open the scene with the birth of the foal. Gradually we learn who Estabrook is and his backstory. His willingness to do what the Duke asks shows he is a man of honor and we know somehow the duchess will become a romantic interest. You also handle the speech patterns of the period very well. I wish you well on this project, Chris.
Rod
Comment Written 13-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Thank you, Rod! I appreciate your kind review and rating. I've been having a lot of fun with this story.
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I wish you well. Rod
