St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "St. Louis Chapter 1 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
42 total reviews
Comment from TheStoryMan
I think Logan is in for a shock. You don't have to be big and male to investigate crime. I can understand him wanting to solve his sister's murder but it might be better if he lets the professionals handle it. This is going to be interesting.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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I think Logan is in for a shock. You don't have to be big and male to investigate crime. I can understand him wanting to solve his sister's murder but it might be better if he lets the professionals handle it. This is going to be interesting.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Miss Sherry
So far, I am hooked. You are a very good writer. Your plot is clear, you opened with a hook and the little dog is a real plus. You have a clean style, not cluttered with messy add-ins or unnecessary conversation. I will look with anxious eyes to the next chapter. Very fine work!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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So far, I am hooked. You are a very good writer. Your plot is clear, you opened with a hook and the little dog is a real plus. You have a clean style, not cluttered with messy add-ins or unnecessary conversation. I will look with anxious eyes to the next chapter. Very fine work!
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement.
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You are most welcome!!
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You are more than welcome--blessings!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barb
I see that you have a new mystery novel to keep us fanstorians intrigued with who murdered Megan Nelson Logan's younger sister. Question I didn't see
The name of Logan's and Megan
dad in your characters list.
Oh, in answer to your questions at the beginning of this chapter, I can not reply to any of your three questions, until I read more about the investigation of Megan's murder.
Gert
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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Hello Barb
I see that you have a new mystery novel to keep us fanstorians intrigued with who murdered Megan Nelson Logan's younger sister. Question I didn't see
The name of Logan's and Megan
dad in your characters list.
Oh, in answer to your questions at the beginning of this chapter, I can not reply to any of your three questions, until I read more about the investigation of Megan's murder.
Gert
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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When I physically introduce Logan's dad and mom I'll list them. Thank you for the kind review.
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Thank you Barb
I really like you new novel
Gert
Comment from swelling
Although the opening lacked a bit of punch to grab my initial attention, the well written and engaging dialogue piqued my interest and drew me in. It is only just the beginning of the story but at the moment, I feel the storyline is leaning towards predictable (the gender confusion with the name and the assumption that Mac is a man and then Logan's subsequent attraction to Mac) so I am very interested in seeing where the story is going.
The character development is good - I already feel that I am getting a clear idea of personalities - calm, cool, confident Mac and uptight, controlling and intense Logan.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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Although the opening lacked a bit of punch to grab my initial attention, the well written and engaging dialogue piqued my interest and drew me in. It is only just the beginning of the story but at the moment, I feel the storyline is leaning towards predictable (the gender confusion with the name and the assumption that Mac is a man and then Logan's subsequent attraction to Mac) so I am very interested in seeing where the story is going.
The character development is good - I already feel that I am getting a clear idea of personalities - calm, cool, confident Mac and uptight, controlling and intense Logan.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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Sorry you didn't catch the hook. Others did. Thank you for reading.
Comment from Colleen Pinner
I don't usually read romance novels, But...I got hooked into this one. My one gripe in most romance novels is the two main characters are always gorgeous, talented and sure of themselves. It would be nice once in a while to have someone who is a little more realistic. I will stick with this one though.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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I don't usually read romance novels, But...I got hooked into this one. My one gripe in most romance novels is the two main characters are always gorgeous, talented and sure of themselves. It would be nice once in a while to have someone who is a little more realistic. I will stick with this one though.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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Mine are realistic or so I hope. I try to make them real world people with real world problems. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
This is off to a great start. I already like Mac. Maybe she would have been more convincing to Logan if she'd showed him her gun. As a PI, she must have license to carry a gun. It's neat that she has a dog. Logan comes in with a whole set of misconceptions. He can't comprehend that Mac is a qualified investigator, and he's super sure he knows who killed his sister. He thinks he's capable of solving the case himself. If he follows Mac, it'll serve him right if she's just going for a hair appointment. The two are going to be at odds while she tries to solve the murder. Excellent beginning. judi
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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This is off to a great start. I already like Mac. Maybe she would have been more convincing to Logan if she'd showed him her gun. As a PI, she must have license to carry a gun. It's neat that she has a dog. Logan comes in with a whole set of misconceptions. He can't comprehend that Mac is a qualified investigator, and he's super sure he knows who killed his sister. He thinks he's capable of solving the case himself. If he follows Mac, it'll serve him right if she's just going for a hair appointment. The two are going to be at odds while she tries to solve the murder. Excellent beginning. judi
Comment Written 11-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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Logan has his hands full with Mac. She is capable of holding her own. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome. You're off to a great start. judi
Comment from JDRBAR
Good opening chapter for a story.
"How about if I come by tomorrow after lunch, then you can fill me in on the new information you have?" (this should be two sentences)
About forty-five minutes later, the taxi parked and waited for Logan to enter, he stood with one foot inside the car and one still on the curb. (suggestion:....taxi pulled up and the driver....to get in (period). He stood...
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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Good opening chapter for a story.
"How about if I come by tomorrow after lunch, then you can fill me in on the new information you have?" (this should be two sentences)
About forty-five minutes later, the taxi parked and waited for Logan to enter, he stood with one foot inside the car and one still on the curb. (suggestion:....taxi pulled up and the driver....to get in (period). He stood...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the review. I will check those areas out.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Barbara,
A great opening chapter with the characters meeting and the confusion. I'm looking forward to seeing how this pans out. My big question is whether or not Mac will be able to solve the crime in the 30 days Logan has leave from the military.
Great job on this one,
~patty~
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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Hi, Barbara,
A great opening chapter with the characters meeting and the confusion. I'm looking forward to seeing how this pans out. My big question is whether or not Mac will be able to solve the crime in the 30 days Logan has leave from the military.
Great job on this one,
~patty~
Comment Written 11-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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HMMM, we will find out. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Cara Thereon
Oh Logan, don't be silly about this. Any woman with a Doxie is beyond capable of solving any crime. It's written in a book somewhere as gospel truth.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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Oh Logan, don't be silly about this. Any woman with a Doxie is beyond capable of solving any crime. It's written in a book somewhere as gospel truth.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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I agree. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from HealingMuse
Hi Barbara,
Oooooohhhh ... the plot thickens. I love it!
What a delightful read.
Yes, I already detest Logan. Mac should bitch slap him into next year. Condescending jerk. LOL
Nothing here to suggest improving upon. It's perfect, as is the image of that sweet pup! :-)
Thanks for sharing,
Jan
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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Hi Barbara,
Oooooohhhh ... the plot thickens. I love it!
What a delightful read.
Yes, I already detest Logan. Mac should bitch slap him into next year. Condescending jerk. LOL
Nothing here to suggest improving upon. It's perfect, as is the image of that sweet pup! :-)
Thanks for sharing,
Jan
Comment Written 10-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
