Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 467 "Waterwheel"Small and Specialty Poems
8 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
They don't come with much more brevity than this. Is there some reason for the misspelling of whirling (both the letters 'i' are written as Ls or upper case i)? Then there is the question of whether an '...ing' word is a verb, a present participle or something else, a gerund perhaps. Just a thought. The five stars are for the originality of the thought.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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They don't come with much more brevity than this. Is there some reason for the misspelling of whirling (both the letters 'i' are written as Ls or upper case i)? Then there is the question of whether an '...ing' word is a verb, a present participle or something else, a gerund perhaps. Just a thought. The five stars are for the originality of the thought.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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Hmmm, No, not intentional. I'll fix that, not sure how that happened, but you are the first to notice. I think the verb use is ok,
Water whirling wheel
Water whirling the wheel
Water is whirling the wheel.
Comment from tfawcus
I just commented on the brevity of a six-word poem, and now I find one of three! The visual impact of the stretched verb in the middle seems to be an important feature, and I rather like your example. The alliteration of 'w' has an onomatopoeic effect.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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I just commented on the brevity of a six-word poem, and now I find one of three! The visual impact of the stretched verb in the middle seems to be an important feature, and I rather like your example. The alliteration of 'w' has an onomatopoeic effect.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Thank you Tony. Sorry to make you write a review longer than the poem, by far. Next they'll come up with a 1 word poem. Lol.
Comment from QC Poet
I wondered about the noun element but do read where the water wheel is located in the note, very enjoyable poem to read beautiful accompanying photo of it, Thanks for Sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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I wondered about the noun element but do read where the water wheel is located in the note, very enjoyable poem to read beautiful accompanying photo of it, Thanks for Sharing.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Thank you gmartinez. I appreciate your review and comments.
Comment from Sandra Elizabeth Williams
I tell you, everyday I learn more on FanStory. You have just taught me about a brevette...and yours is true to form.
So simple and perfectly complemented by the picture of a waterwheel.
Thank you for sharing Sir Treischel.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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I tell you, everyday I learn more on FanStory. You have just taught me about a brevette...and yours is true to form.
So simple and perfectly complemented by the picture of a waterwheel.
Thank you for sharing Sir Treischel.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Thank you Sandra. I very much appreciate your review and comments.
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You are welcome?
Comment from Joan E.
You certainly mastered this tiny form by satisfying all of the requirements and even adding complete alliteration plus one of your famous photographs! I like the way spacing out the letters in the verb shows ongoing action and adds balance to the poem. Well done! -Joan
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2019
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You certainly mastered this tiny form by satisfying all of the requirements and even adding complete alliteration plus one of your famous photographs! I like the way spacing out the letters in the verb shows ongoing action and adds balance to the poem. Well done! -Joan
Comment Written 09-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2019
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Thank you Joan. Sorry you had to write a review way longer than the poem itself.
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No apologies--your poem inspired me to try a Brevett. I could not find any reference to a title online, but I think the form should have one. Smiles- Joan
Comment from RodG
Where I live there is an old grist mill dating back to the origins of the town, and its huge water wheel still works. I like your use of "whirling" as your verb to give us a sharp visual image. Rod
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2019
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Where I live there is an old grist mill dating back to the origins of the town, and its huge water wheel still works. I like your use of "whirling" as your verb to give us a sharp visual image. Rod
Comment Written 09-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2019
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Thank you RorG. I like waterwheels. They have a nostalgic feeling to them.
Comment from meeshu
this short poem is delightful. You have done a fine job with this, and you get extra points for Hinkley. birthplace of Robert Zimmerman (Bob Dylan). good job, Treiscel...................................meeshu
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2019
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this short poem is delightful. You have done a fine job with this, and you get extra points for Hinkley. birthplace of Robert Zimmerman (Bob Dylan). good job, Treiscel...................................meeshu
Comment Written 09-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2019
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Thank you meeshu. It's a nice little berg, that is half way from the Twin Cities to Duluth, with Tobies Restaurant that has fabulous fresh caramel rolls. Along I35
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
What a unique style of poetry. I do not think I've seen Brevette before. What a fun composition. I will have to challenge myself to write one. I love that I can learn so many new formats as a newer writer through FanStory. Enjoyed your waterwheel (whirling)! Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2019
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What a unique style of poetry. I do not think I've seen Brevette before. What a fun composition. I will have to challenge myself to write one. I love that I can learn so many new formats as a newer writer through FanStory. Enjoyed your waterwheel (whirling)! Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2019
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Thank you, Cindy. I like that too. In fact. I've learned over 400 of them now.
