Comment from Colleen Pinner

Good

I found the Point of View changes a bit difficult to read. Maybe I'm just not that familiar with the way you are using it. I'm coming into this a bit late in the story, but I was still able to pretty much stay with the story.

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 Comment Written 08-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2019

Thank you so much for your review, I'm sorry you found it difficult to follow. *** Means a change of characters, scenes. Maybe I should make that clearer. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the chapter, take care.

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

MD,

Looks like things are reaching a head. Should get rather exciting in the next little bit. *smile*

Just a couple notes for you:
1.) You have some moments of dialogue that are questions, but don't have questions marks

2.) I'm about to make it a lot worse, the man thinks, glancing at the boy(.)
--> you switched on me rather sudden. Are you now talking about the boss and calling Tommy a boy?

Thanks and good luck!



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 Comment Written 08-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2019

Thank you so much for your kind review and for catching my mistakes, I didn't realize I did that. Don't know what I was thinking. I switched boy to Tommy.
Thank you again for all your help it's greatly appreciated take care.