God is Here!
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "You Will Come I Wait Some"God, Omnipresent is here, there, everywhere!
78 total reviews
Comment from Wabigoon
Alcreator Lit Dear--
This is the first piece by you I have seen. It gets better as it goes along. I think this stanza is unclear:
Works my readers enjoyed and understood comprehensibly that earned me many awards here
In our Faith River water has flooded annually but my Flower Land has never
Lurks have stopped praying for rains and have left the blue black sky and grey clouds over
Lions and tigers are sleeping but deer are retiring and enjoying lives in black dark night colour
What does "Lurks" have to do with anything?
Anyway, good to finally read something by you.
Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff
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Alcreator Lit Dear--
This is the first piece by you I have seen. It gets better as it goes along. I think this stanza is unclear:
Works my readers enjoyed and understood comprehensibly that earned me many awards here
In our Faith River water has flooded annually but my Flower Land has never
Lurks have stopped praying for rains and have left the blue black sky and grey clouds over
Lions and tigers are sleeping but deer are retiring and enjoying lives in black dark night colour
What does "Lurks" have to do with anything?
Anyway, good to finally read something by you.
Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 08-Feb-2019
Comment from royowen
This sounds like the habitats on river islands located in NSW. On the Hawkesbury river where my Aunt once lived, Edie her name, there were no cars on the island, it was beautifully described by you, well done, blessings, Roy
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This sounds like the habitats on river islands located in NSW. On the Hawkesbury river where my Aunt once lived, Edie her name, there were no cars on the island, it was beautifully described by you, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 08-Feb-2019
Comment from Blue Hendrix
You believe strongly in everything you write about and it gives the reader an emotional connection every time. It's like you can feel these emotions and beliefs so very strongly and it's wonderful.
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You believe strongly in everything you write about and it gives the reader an emotional connection every time. It's like you can feel these emotions and beliefs so very strongly and it's wonderful.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2019
Comment from meeshu
This is a very good piece, interesting repeats and rhymes, good phrasing with great rhythm. the blocked style add credibility. good job, Alcreator.................meeshu
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This is a very good piece, interesting repeats and rhymes, good phrasing with great rhythm. the blocked style add credibility. good job, Alcreator.................meeshu
Comment Written 08-Feb-2019
Comment from Miss Sherry
This is a great poem...love the punctuation free zone. Your work is always strong and powerful, no matter the subject. You have your own voice and it resonates with the reader. Your faith is in every word, God must be so pleased with you!
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This is a great poem...love the punctuation free zone. Your work is always strong and powerful, no matter the subject. You have your own voice and it resonates with the reader. Your faith is in every word, God must be so pleased with you!
Comment Written 08-Feb-2019
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written acrostic. It is a little bit long sentences that let the impact of the acrostic get lost in the process. To highlight the first words that form the acrostic will also help to enhance your poem. A great story poem otherwise.
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A very well-written acrostic. It is a little bit long sentences that let the impact of the acrostic get lost in the process. To highlight the first words that form the acrostic will also help to enhance your poem. A great story poem otherwise.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2019
Comment from Stephanie Launiu
You have a unique style of writing, almost like a stream of consciousness. The lack of punctuation adds to your style, and doesn't at all detract from it, in my opinion. I have bookcased your poem so that I can reread it in more detail. There are word morsels in there I still want to think about. Thanks for sharing.
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You have a unique style of writing, almost like a stream of consciousness. The lack of punctuation adds to your style, and doesn't at all detract from it, in my opinion. I have bookcased your poem so that I can reread it in more detail. There are word morsels in there I still want to think about. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2019
Comment from Dean Kuch
While I understood and comprehended most of what was written here, Alcreator Litt Dear, there are a few lines I'd hoped you could clarify for me and my benefit.
For example: "Lurks have stopped praying for rains and have left the blue black sky and clouds over " ... As "lurks" is a verb, just what, exactly, are you referencing here? Something that "lurks" might be able to stop praying. I'm confused as to your intended meaning here.
The entire following stanza seemed rather ambiguously worded to me. I would appreciate it if you could be so kind as to explain to me your intended meaning:
"Some days more God will also breathe here before I go on a walk with God to our Home Land
Oracles have come true in my living a solitary life here over four decades around this land
My legend on clarity of expression of true words will pass on soon on this God's gifted land
Enter my doors and feel how God helped me achieve our goal in our river bound island."
Where is "here"?
What "island" are you alluding too?
Answer these questions for me either in a reply to this review or by PM and I will gladly raise your rating to a five.
Thanks and enjoy your weekend.
~Dean Kuch
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2019
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While I understood and comprehended most of what was written here, Alcreator Litt Dear, there are a few lines I'd hoped you could clarify for me and my benefit.
For example: "Lurks have stopped praying for rains and have left the blue black sky and clouds over " ... As "lurks" is a verb, just what, exactly, are you referencing here? Something that "lurks" might be able to stop praying. I'm confused as to your intended meaning here.
The entire following stanza seemed rather ambiguously worded to me. I would appreciate it if you could be so kind as to explain to me your intended meaning:
"Some days more God will also breathe here before I go on a walk with God to our Home Land
Oracles have come true in my living a solitary life here over four decades around this land
My legend on clarity of expression of true words will pass on soon on this God's gifted land
Enter my doors and feel how God helped me achieve our goal in our river bound island."
Where is "here"?
What "island" are you alluding too?
Answer these questions for me either in a reply to this review or by PM and I will gladly raise your rating to a five.
Thanks and enjoy your weekend.
~Dean Kuch
Comment Written 08-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2019
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Thank you.
Lurks is a spelling mistake it is larks (a bird).
Flower Land is an island.
Here is Flower Land.
It is a fictitious name.
It is on this world.
Hope I have clarified.
Please revisit.
Thanking you in advance.
PS I am changing the word island to Flower Land and the word lurks to larks.
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Ah, "lark", now that makes sense!
Thanks for clarifying...
Comment from LisaMay
I can picture where you live so poetically in colours of the landscape and seasons with the animals while meaningfully waiting with loyalty and faith for your life's reward to go home to a family after solitary but prized life.
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I can picture where you live so poetically in colours of the landscape and seasons with the animals while meaningfully waiting with loyalty and faith for your life's reward to go home to a family after solitary but prized life.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2019
Comment from SLMorrical
This is very good. I don't know what an acrostic poem is, but you did a wonderful job with it. This is wonderful, because it comes your heart, and faith. You should probably try to get this in the church bulletin where you go to church. Very well done. Keep writing.
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This is very good. I don't know what an acrostic poem is, but you did a wonderful job with it. This is wonderful, because it comes your heart, and faith. You should probably try to get this in the church bulletin where you go to church. Very well done. Keep writing.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2019
