God is Here!
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "You Will Come I Wait Some"God, Omnipresent is here, there, everywhere!
78 total reviews
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, a commanding write in its free verse soliloquy and even flow - the narration capturing the quiet warmth of expression throughout. It is a striking presentation in its entirety, with the exception of uneven spacing above and below the verse...
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In my opinion, a commanding write in its free verse soliloquy and even flow - the narration capturing the quiet warmth of expression throughout. It is a striking presentation in its entirety, with the exception of uneven spacing above and below the verse...
Comment Written 10-May-2020
Comment from HansiJ
It is indeed a flower land where it help many unheard thoughts to bloom. It is a good opportunity to get to know how good you are in expressing your thoughts in a creative manner through the reviews of others.
Good luck!
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It is indeed a flower land where it help many unheard thoughts to bloom. It is a good opportunity to get to know how good you are in expressing your thoughts in a creative manner through the reviews of others.
Good luck!
Comment Written 10-May-2020
Comment from Jeffrey Ford
I think you made more great writing! That is awesome that you have been writing and winning awards for so long. I love how you write so well and elegant. I also love how you lift up the word of God in all of your work. Thank you for continuing to share!
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I think you made more great writing! That is awesome that you have been writing and winning awards for so long. I love how you write so well and elegant. I also love how you lift up the word of God in all of your work. Thank you for continuing to share!
Comment Written 09-May-2020
Comment from January L'Angelle
I love the poem's story. I do not see the acrostic poem part of it because of how it is formatted. My eyesight isn't good and the letters are mixed together. The writing is very good and the story line flows well. Good job. -January L.
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I love the poem's story. I do not see the acrostic poem part of it because of how it is formatted. My eyesight isn't good and the letters are mixed together. The writing is very good and the story line flows well. Good job. -January L.
Comment Written 09-May-2020
Comment from karenina
I understand your sentiment and have no doubt this is a sincere poem. However, when writing an Acrostic, if you have such long lines that they spill over to another line it defeats the purpose of having ONLY the first letter of each line pertaining to your acrostic word or phrase.
Technically (with the longer lines intruding) this reads: YOUA WHILLC COME IL WIAIHTB SHOLMEF !!!
I get you only capitalized the words you wanted included in the acrostic...but that's bending the spirit of the form. Some quick editing to shorted the lines that "spilled over" would make this so much easier to read and understand!
For reference: "The acrostic is a form in which names or words are spelled out through the first letter of each line. The intent of the acrostic, a form derived from the abecedarian, is to reveal while attempting to conceal within the poem.
Examples of the Acrostic Form
William Blake addresses the despairs of the plague in the poem "London," telling the reader how he listens to everyone's pain while wandering along the Thames River. Blake uses an acrostic in the third stanza to emphasize the horrifying sounds:
"How the Chimney-sweeper's cry
Every blackning Church appalls;
And the hapless Soldier's sigh
Runs in blood down Palace walls."
Karenina
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I understand your sentiment and have no doubt this is a sincere poem. However, when writing an Acrostic, if you have such long lines that they spill over to another line it defeats the purpose of having ONLY the first letter of each line pertaining to your acrostic word or phrase.
Technically (with the longer lines intruding) this reads: YOUA WHILLC COME IL WIAIHTB SHOLMEF !!!
I get you only capitalized the words you wanted included in the acrostic...but that's bending the spirit of the form. Some quick editing to shorted the lines that "spilled over" would make this so much easier to read and understand!
For reference: "The acrostic is a form in which names or words are spelled out through the first letter of each line. The intent of the acrostic, a form derived from the abecedarian, is to reveal while attempting to conceal within the poem.
Examples of the Acrostic Form
William Blake addresses the despairs of the plague in the poem "London," telling the reader how he listens to everyone's pain while wandering along the Thames River. Blake uses an acrostic in the third stanza to emphasize the horrifying sounds:
"How the Chimney-sweeper's cry
Every blackning Church appalls;
And the hapless Soldier's sigh
Runs in blood down Palace walls."
Karenina
Comment Written 09-May-2020
Comment from Sally Law
Simply beautiful. Your heart is for the future of your children and people. I hope for the same in Christ my Lord. Sending you my best today as always and blessings for your endeavors,
Sally :)
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Simply beautiful. Your heart is for the future of your children and people. I hope for the same in Christ my Lord. Sending you my best today as always and blessings for your endeavors,
Sally :)
Comment Written 09-May-2020
Comment from smileycloud
I do not know why but I read through your acrostic and cannot stop thinking about "the Promised Land"
If I do not think in the Apocalyptic language of Revelations I find myself a little lost due to the fact that each time I read it I see my own pre-conceived ideas about the message of the poem
I like reading it
thank you for sharing
have a smiley day
blessings
p.s. if those books and the award is real...good luck and I hope you win...but I kept thinking about the "Book of Life"
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I do not know why but I read through your acrostic and cannot stop thinking about "the Promised Land"
If I do not think in the Apocalyptic language of Revelations I find myself a little lost due to the fact that each time I read it I see my own pre-conceived ideas about the message of the poem
I like reading it
thank you for sharing
have a smiley day
blessings
p.s. if those books and the award is real...good luck and I hope you win...but I kept thinking about the "Book of Life"
Comment Written 09-May-2020
Comment from giovannimariatommaso
Well, here goes, because I need the money to promote my own poem which is about God, He who is the God of religion, religion being the remembering of how he established right order out of chaos, the chaos of creation to birth, to childhood, to adolescence, to adulthood.
There is no such person, a God who is a non-God, if that were the case then He would not be a person, but an it, devoid of character, devoid of personality, devoid of thought or action, He would be a non-entity, and that would be impossible because we are not non-entities, non-persons, devoid of character, devoid of personality, devoid of thought or action, so, we rightly question, are the places and characters in the poem real or fictional ideas of the author using his poetic license? Whatever, the acrostic poem does cause one to think, especially if read several times to get the site, sound, and meter in sync with the proper order of reading and understanding in both spheres of real or imaginary under poetic license. giovanni
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Well, here goes, because I need the money to promote my own poem which is about God, He who is the God of religion, religion being the remembering of how he established right order out of chaos, the chaos of creation to birth, to childhood, to adolescence, to adulthood.
There is no such person, a God who is a non-God, if that were the case then He would not be a person, but an it, devoid of character, devoid of personality, devoid of thought or action, He would be a non-entity, and that would be impossible because we are not non-entities, non-persons, devoid of character, devoid of personality, devoid of thought or action, so, we rightly question, are the places and characters in the poem real or fictional ideas of the author using his poetic license? Whatever, the acrostic poem does cause one to think, especially if read several times to get the site, sound, and meter in sync with the proper order of reading and understanding in both spheres of real or imaginary under poetic license. giovanni
Comment Written 08-May-2020
Comment from write hand blue
Again I struggle to find any sense in all this. This flower land is this a follow on from the sixties flower power. Or is it a band that God has got?
I wonder. WHB
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Again I struggle to find any sense in all this. This flower land is this a follow on from the sixties flower power. Or is it a band that God has got?
I wonder. WHB
Comment Written 08-May-2020
Comment from A. Louise Robertson
Nicely done acrostic poem. Should help be changed to helps in the last line? This piece seems to have taken a fair amount of time to write, there is a lot here to digest.
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Nicely done acrostic poem. Should help be changed to helps in the last line? This piece seems to have taken a fair amount of time to write, there is a lot here to digest.
Comment Written 08-May-2020
