Renaissance of Enchantment
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Chapter Two, Part 2"It was their world long before our existence...
15 total reviews
Comment from Debbie Pope
Upfront, I am out of six stars, and I think that your story is awesome. You have brought in another motley crew of characters. Are all of Marguerite's strange friends going to join her at the boarding house? I hope so. Then we will have tons of intriguing, quirky characters. They seem to be mysteriously connected to Marguerite so I am guessing that here they come. I am definitely engaged Yvette, writer of fabulous fantasy.
I was reading the list of characters, because I am getting them confused, and I noticed the the website was doing that weird thing for Freki. It reads:
Freki - Lycaois�????�???�??�?�¢?? over-sized pet 'dog'
That happens to me all of the time. It's so annoying.
That is my only suggestion to change. I really like it just like it is. I do wish Koko and Kato didn't sound so much alike. They are the ones that I forget which is which. I will catch on though.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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Upfront, I am out of six stars, and I think that your story is awesome. You have brought in another motley crew of characters. Are all of Marguerite's strange friends going to join her at the boarding house? I hope so. Then we will have tons of intriguing, quirky characters. They seem to be mysteriously connected to Marguerite so I am guessing that here they come. I am definitely engaged Yvette, writer of fabulous fantasy.
I was reading the list of characters, because I am getting them confused, and I noticed the the website was doing that weird thing for Freki. It reads:
Freki - Lycaois�????�???�??�?�¢?? over-sized pet 'dog'
That happens to me all of the time. It's so annoying.
That is my only suggestion to change. I really like it just like it is. I do wish Koko and Kato didn't sound so much alike. They are the ones that I forget which is which. I will catch on though.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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Thank you, MQ, don't think this will be a big hit in the 'scheme' of things as this has only gotten 4 or 5 reviews since Monday so, I'm glad you're following at least! :) ;) Oh, and I popped back in there and fixed the gnome graffiti -- seems if you miss it once, every time you 'pop back in' to the editor, the gnome adds more to the same spot! :) ;) LOL! :) Glad you're enjoying and thanx for hanging in there. ;) Yvette
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I look forward to it.
Comment from robyn corum
YM,
Well, it seems that your statement at the end of the last chapter was deceiving - she IS loved, huh? *smile* This was another well-written post and I enjoyed. Just saw a few things that need more attention:
1.) he knew a few of the handicapped children (who) visited Rosemary
--> when speaking of humans, use 'who' though you can get away with this in dialogue
2.) Who apparently she'd never met. (maybe add 'as an adult'
3.) sensed a whole 'lot of animosity there.
--> the apostrophe is not needed
4.) "Aye." Peadar hesitated, and his gaze softened.
--> since you already used 'hesitated' in the previous mention of Peadar, you may want to pick another word here?
That's it. Hope this helps!
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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YM,
Well, it seems that your statement at the end of the last chapter was deceiving - she IS loved, huh? *smile* This was another well-written post and I enjoyed. Just saw a few things that need more attention:
1.) he knew a few of the handicapped children (who) visited Rosemary
--> when speaking of humans, use 'who' though you can get away with this in dialogue
2.) Who apparently she'd never met. (maybe add 'as an adult'
3.) sensed a whole 'lot of animosity there.
--> the apostrophe is not needed
4.) "Aye." Peadar hesitated, and his gaze softened.
--> since you already used 'hesitated' in the previous mention of Peadar, you may want to pick another word here?
That's it. Hope this helps!
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Good morning, ma'am! :) Thanx for those catches and the second set of eyes -- went through and corrected them. :) ;) Glad to hear you seemed to have enjoyed - have a great day! :) ;) Yvette
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Yvette,
I'm loving this story. Mysteries are so much fun to write, aren't they? Creating the puzzle for your readers to unravel is half the fun, but writing a wide range of characters makes it very rewarding.
Looking forward to the next chapter,
~MP~
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Hi, Yvette,
I'm loving this story. Mysteries are so much fun to write, aren't they? Creating the puzzle for your readers to unravel is half the fun, but writing a wide range of characters makes it very rewarding.
Looking forward to the next chapter,
~MP~
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Hope you are really enjoying, MP, and am glad that you stopped in for the read and review. :) ;) Thank you and have a good day! :) Yvette
Comment from Rhonda Skinner
- I'm still not sure why Kato said no one would have any respects to pay. Is it just that he's always a negative person or ...?
- There was one clause I had trouble wrapping my head around: Lycaois growled again to which Kato joined his own for a chorus,
- I liked how you introduced the mysterious niece at the end. I will keep reading!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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- I'm still not sure why Kato said no one would have any respects to pay. Is it just that he's always a negative person or ...?
- There was one clause I had trouble wrapping my head around: Lycaois growled again to which Kato joined his own for a chorus,
- I liked how you introduced the mysterious niece at the end. I will keep reading!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Thanx for your review. :)
Comment from meeshu
that is an interesting cast of characters, I look forward to getting to know them better. I am intrigued by this secret society. hope you go there, MD................meeshu
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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that is an interesting cast of characters, I look forward to getting to know them better. I am intrigued by this secret society. hope you go there, MD................meeshu
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Thanx for dropping by, dude -- always appreciate hearing from you! :) ;) Vette
