Life
1st place in free verse contest34 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image and presentation.
-A very well penned free verse
poem about the aspects of life.
-You give many good examples:
"the twists and turns,"
"the world keeps spinning,"
and "creating an impact"
whether we know about it or not.
-A nice conclusion.
-Good luck in the contest ~Pam
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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-Very nice image and presentation.
-A very well penned free verse
poem about the aspects of life.
-You give many good examples:
"the twists and turns,"
"the world keeps spinning,"
and "creating an impact"
whether we know about it or not.
-A nice conclusion.
-Good luck in the contest ~Pam
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Thank you for reviewing, Pam. Much appreciated.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Yvonne,
You've written an excellent free verse poem for the contest
All those twist and turns are only, and sometimes, clear in hindsight.
We often do not know the impact we may have had along the way.
It may be the smallest thing that has the largest effect.
An excellent concluding couplet
Best wishes
Robert
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Hello Yvonne,
You've written an excellent free verse poem for the contest
All those twist and turns are only, and sometimes, clear in hindsight.
We often do not know the impact we may have had along the way.
It may be the smallest thing that has the largest effect.
An excellent concluding couplet
Best wishes
Robert
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Thank you, Robert. Much appreciated.
Comment from judiverse
Beautifully worded. Yes, the world keeps spinning regardless of what happens to us. So true, we don't know where life will take us. Your last two lines are so powerful. Success isn't in what we own but in inspiring love in others. Great thoughts to ponder. judi
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Beautifully worded. Yes, the world keeps spinning regardless of what happens to us. So true, we don't know where life will take us. Your last two lines are so powerful. Success isn't in what we own but in inspiring love in others. Great thoughts to ponder. judi
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Thank you, Judi. I appreciate that very much.
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You're very welcome. judi
Comment from Pantygynt
I agree with the theme of this free verse, which is unequivocally stated in the final lines. generally speaking it has a good rhythmic feel and some excellent word choice.
Do you need every definite or indefinite article? Would the odd conjunction assist the flow? Two questions that it might be worth considering, generally the word choice is reallly good.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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I agree with the theme of this free verse, which is unequivocally stated in the final lines. generally speaking it has a good rhythmic feel and some excellent word choice.
Do you need every definite or indefinite article? Would the odd conjunction assist the flow? Two questions that it might be worth considering, generally the word choice is reallly good.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Hmmm. I guess I didn't. Better next time. Thanks.
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They are not glaring errors and it is not a matter of rule but of feel. yours was still a good bit of free verse.
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Damommy;
>I've had this philosophy explained in a different metaphor is the way you explained that in your free verse. "Success is not what we own, but that people love us." I think you created a non sequitur. What does success have to do with love could be one question.
>Are you referring to that love is the success of life, I can understand that.
>But I heard another one it would that it is said that you're judged not By how many people know you or know of you but how many you can truly call your friends.
> Deceivers captures my interest so much so that it reflects the writers on philosophies that are remarkably descriptive demonstratively through metaphors and definitively expressive imagery.
> I really enjoyed reading it was very entertained by this writing remarkable conscientious and philosophical commentary.
> Take care and have a good one.
Alx
PS: It would be like trying to write it without using the words of prepositions I, me, you, or us and we. I'm probably just stick with they, them, these and those and their.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Cheers, Damommy;
>I've had this philosophy explained in a different metaphor is the way you explained that in your free verse. "Success is not what we own, but that people love us." I think you created a non sequitur. What does success have to do with love could be one question.
>Are you referring to that love is the success of life, I can understand that.
>But I heard another one it would that it is said that you're judged not By how many people know you or know of you but how many you can truly call your friends.
> Deceivers captures my interest so much so that it reflects the writers on philosophies that are remarkably descriptive demonstratively through metaphors and definitively expressive imagery.
> I really enjoyed reading it was very entertained by this writing remarkable conscientious and philosophical commentary.
> Take care and have a good one.
Alx
PS: It would be like trying to write it without using the words of prepositions I, me, you, or us and we. I'm probably just stick with they, them, these and those and their.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much.
Comment from lyenochka
Amen! What a sane and lovely way to measure "success" that we love and are loved and that was the best way to live and to leave this Earth. Wonderful message, Yvonne!
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Amen! What a sane and lovely way to measure "success" that we love and are loved and that was the best way to live and to leave this Earth. Wonderful message, Yvonne!
Comment Written 04-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Thank you. I appreciate that.
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a beautifully composed poem. We may never know the impact we've had on others. Hopefully good ones. These are impactful lines:
"We never know....
what impact we may have
in someone else's journey,
whether it's to encourage
or to eviscerate with words and actions."
Much luck in the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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This is a beautifully composed poem. We may never know the impact we've had on others. Hopefully good ones. These are impactful lines:
"We never know....
what impact we may have
in someone else's journey,
whether it's to encourage
or to eviscerate with words and actions."
Much luck in the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 04-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Thank you. I appreciate your lovely comments and your support.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Great. Now I'm close to tears AGAIN. Dear me, this is wonderful, my friend, and very true, every word of it. I especially loved two things -- the beginning = "I've learned that nothing stays the same. Yet it does in some strange way." The conclusion = "Success is not what we own, but that people love us."
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Great. Now I'm close to tears AGAIN. Dear me, this is wonderful, my friend, and very true, every word of it. I especially loved two things -- the beginning = "I've learned that nothing stays the same. Yet it does in some strange way." The conclusion = "Success is not what we own, but that people love us."
Comment Written 04-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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I'm happy it touched you in some way, but I didn't want to make you cry, dear friend. Thank you for a wonderful review that made ME want to cry. 8-)
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
A beautiful offering for this contest, Yvonne -- and although your words just flow so wonderfully, you know what I think the most impactful line is? The one where you are just flowing along with the 'beauty of life' image and then -smack- "or to eviscerate with words and actions"! ... Just gives those words that much more meaning as to their importance to avoid -- great job!! :) :) ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck at the polls! :) ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2019
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A beautiful offering for this contest, Yvonne -- and although your words just flow so wonderfully, you know what I think the most impactful line is? The one where you are just flowing along with the 'beauty of life' image and then -smack- "or to eviscerate with words and actions"! ... Just gives those words that much more meaning as to their importance to avoid -- great job!! :) :) ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck at the polls! :) ;) Yvette
Comment Written 04-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2019
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Thank you, Yvonne. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your free verse contest entry, Yvonne. Your lines flow smoothly, they are arranged in a good fashion, good alliteration, nice picture to pair with your well-chosen words. and you give readers much to think about. Good job and best wishes. Jan
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2019
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I enjoyed your free verse contest entry, Yvonne. Your lines flow smoothly, they are arranged in a good fashion, good alliteration, nice picture to pair with your well-chosen words. and you give readers much to think about. Good job and best wishes. Jan
Comment Written 04-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2019
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Thank you, Jan.
