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The French Letter

Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "Moonraker Cottage"
A Novel

36 total reviews 
Comment from estory
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I liked this chapter. The confrontation with the kid on the subway car, the eerie train station, the spooky woods and cottage, all carefully detailed with plenty of color and mood, set the scene for a mysterious convergence of all these players in the story; Jeanne, Helen and Kayla, all involved in the drug trade, with the mafia, and romantically in some sense, and all weaving their spell over Charles and drawing him into some fatalistic climax. I think you set the stage brilliantly, and now its time for the players to come out and set everything in motion. estory

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2019
    Thank for this summary and your remarks. The stage is now almost set for a few resolutions. Some reviewers are already clamouring for more action! Many thanks for the sixth star.
Comment from Mastery
Excellent
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Hi, Tony. Well, this is a fine addition for your story, I think.


You make great use of imagery throughout, like here for instance. I can see this:

"It was dark by the time the train reached Chippenham and the station was almost deserted. Yellow pools of light flooded the forecourt before draining away into the shadows."

And here: "Moonraker Cottage lay sleeping in a hollow at the far end. It was a solitary, low-slung building that butted hard into the hillside, as if anxious to evade notice. Only a rutted bridle track lay beyond. This meandered along the side of a babbling brook, before disappearing into the dark recesses of Druid's Wood."

And a very impressive wrap up with this image: "Their cheerful orison would greet the dawn as they flitted down from among the golden autumn leaves, swooping hungrily for wayside berries and insects on iridescent wings."

Bravo, my friend. Bob





 Comment Written 02-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Bob. You know how much I value your comments and suggestions. Glad you enjoyed some of the imagery in this chapter. All the best, Tony
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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That lad did more than tell you what was wrong with your appreciation of music, he actually made you read the journal in a different light! This proves that a road never runs straight, but has many avenues leading off. We can wonder if we've read Jeanne wrong all this time, or, is this another devious way to get Helen to into the fold? Hmm, this really is an interesting chapter, Tony. I must say, you have that lads dialect spot on, making a very authentic read. Well done, my friend. :) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Helen. I appreciate your comment about the dialect. I'm never quite sure just how much to contort the spelling of the words! It's easy to fall into an Uncle Tom's Cabin trap!
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 03-Feb-2019
    I know what you mean. I listen to my friends whose lineage go back uncountable generations down in the West Country. I would think it would be a fascinating project to learn Londoners Cockney speech pattern. You had it just right.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written chapter. Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction, and we have a hard time to accept the facts that are right in front of us all the time but we didnot want to see it at the time.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2019
    Thank you very much, Sandra, for your review and positive comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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Moonraker Cottage is an apt name for a cottage in that part of the world not far from Devizes where the original moonraker story was set. I liked your description of Paddington, probably the London terminus I know best of all having attended boarding schools in Cirencester and Marlborough followed by service in the Royal Marines near, Exeter also in Plymouth.

They didn't have the bears in those days though as he is a Johnny-come-lately where my world is concerned. Living in South Wales also found me frequenting the place until about 2005 when train prices required a mortgage and I use the coaches now.

The little cameo with the West Indian lad was also a good piece of writing. I had a similar experience on a garage forecourt where some WI lads were grouped around a car with a burst radiator that was pouring water on the ground. I too gazed too longe attracting exactly the same reaction.

Racists come in all colours it .seems

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2019
    Reverse racism is always a touchy subject. One is immediately labelled extreme right wing.
    I know Paddington Station quite well too. Apart from living in the West Country or several years, I spent a year at St Mary's Hospital Medical School.
    I had forgotten about the Moonraker series. I chose the name because of the local folklore attached, which seemed potentially more interesting than anything I could make out of Rose Cottage, which was where I actually used to live..
Comment from damommy
Excellent
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The encounter with the West Indian lad seems to have given Charles a new look at music. Entertaining. I still think there's more to Helen than we know, especially now that he's hinted some sordid things in the diary. Very clever that he got out of the taxi without letting the driver know the direction he took. I used to live in the wood, and I loved all the sounds he mentioned.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Yvonne. I think that Charles is learning to be more cautious! Perhaps, in the safety of his own home, he might try a little writhing to music! LOL
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Excellent
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The imagery of this is SO excellent! I'm honestly sitting here with goose bumps! You have set this tone of mystery and intrigue with masterful talent! I can't wait to read more.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2019
    Thank you very much, Rachelle, for your review and positive comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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Tony,

A nice, thoughtful, introspective post. Our narrator is having some time to himself - to put things together and to do some thinking and reconsidering, perhaps. As always, the writing was crisp, clear and full of imagery that brought the scenes to life for this reader. I enjoyed! Thank you!

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2019
    Thank you very much, Robyn, for your review and positive comments. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Mrs. KT
Excellent
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Good Morning, Tony!
What an exceptionally well-executed chapter. I so enjoyed the descriptions of Paddington station, but more importantly, the meeting and subsequent conversation between the West Indian lad and Charles. The dialogue was priceless and I laughed aloud at the conclusion of their meeting. The connection to what the young man said and your application to Helen and Jeanne was clever: "Her music was definitely not being played in my groove."
I would give anything to be in attendance at Moonraker Cottage = beautiful...

Thank you for sharing!
diane

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2019
    Very many thanks, Diane, for your kind words. So glad you are still enjoying Charles's adventures. I always appreciate your enthusiastic and supportive reviews. All the best, Tony
Comment from kiwijenny
Excellent
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As usual I loved this. I like how you set scenes. I loved the conversation with ear bud guy. Loved the ominous descriptions of Druid's wood. You move from dark to light with rapid speed to end on a hopeful note.
God bless

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Jenny. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review. Your comments are always so affirming. Does a fellow's ego good! LOL