Comment from rama devi

Exceptional

Wonderful work with a clear message and very satisfying closing couplet. I love how the volta comes in the penultimate line.

Favorite lines:

For had we not already claimed the prize
of love, and all contentment that it brings?

Flawless meter and fine phonetics and great rhymes make this a polished, masterful write. Just one suggestion:

We chose a humble cottage; in its doors
the place was filled with laughter once we wed.


the verb WAS is kinda weak. Maybe try GREW:

We chose a humble cottage; in its doors
the place grew filled with laughter once we wed.

I love the subtle auditory alliteration of the word ONCE sounding like alliteration of W with we wed. Great to read the above tow lines aloud, especially with the consonance of Ls in both lines too. The whole poem sounds grand read aloud. Bravo.

Good luck!

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2019

Rama, thanks as always. Love to get a six from you.

I have an idea for fixing the weak verb issue, but judging for this contest is already under way, so I'll just have to hope their eyes aren't as sharp as yours!

Steve

reply by rama devi on 01-Feb-2019

They love your stuff...you've a good change to win! I never win those. The same people do tend to win. I really think Tom should have a rotation in the judges periodically.

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

This is a lovely sonnet Steve and I love the title. Much better to have a home rather than a house. Great closing couplet, lovely sentiments, well used alliteration and a wonderful read.
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2019

Thanks, Valda. Glad you spotted the significance of the title.

Steve

Comment from nancyjam

Excellent

Oh how romantic and sweet this is. Each line flows
smoothly with perfect meter and rhyme as well
as enjambment.The language has a Shakespearian flair
and suits the subject perfectly.
The closing couplet sums it up beautifully.
Good luck in the contest. Nancy

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2019

Thanks, Nancy.
Schmaltzy another reviewer called it! Let's just stick with romantic and sweet, shall we?

Steve

Comment from June Sargent

Excellent

This is beautiful! It's the home and not the house that will nurture and fulfill the dreams of generations. You can fix a leaky roof. And as long as the foundation of the home is strong and based on love. it will stand. Well done.

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2019

Thanks, June.

It's a fairly obvious theme I suppose, but one that bears re-stating.

Steve

Comment from strandregs

Excellent

Hi stevey
This style of writing I find harrowing.
Maybe because I live not far from harrogate.
in its doors
the place was filled with laughter once we wed.
such a complex sentence.
I must have a Limerick brain.Ha Ha Ha.
Yes your poem is nice and tells of the most comforting thing ever HOME.
Well maybe not for the children in care.:-)).Z.

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2019

Thank you, my friend.

There was a young fellow named Zelick
Whose brain was, alas, quite a relic.
I seldom would choose
The reviews that he'd use,
Cos his wording was all psychedelic!

Steve

reply by strandregs on 01-Feb-2019

You...
have surpassed yourself (is that possible?)
This one is a keeper.
Except I would have to change young for old,
Though my brain refuses to grow old.
Especially when I eat coconut oil.#
those medium chain triglycerides,
That make the catcholamines slide,
fire synapses, in memory lapses,
open multidimensional windows
To god knows where?
and bring back ideas
that make ordinary people
tear out their hair.
Thank you Steve. :-))Z.

reply by strandregs on 01-Feb-2019

You made my wife laugh with appreciation
so blessed change. :-))Z.

Comment from livelylinda

Excellent

Kiwisteveh: congrats on publishing a book! How did it feel when you received your first book in the mail? I love this poem. The picture you used is my dream home. I've wanted for years to live in England in a thatched roof house with fireplaces, a white picket fence and lovely gardens around. And, there it is! The key to this poem is love. If you have the love, you don't need a castle in which to live. Nice talking to you again, Steve. Linda

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2019

Hi, Linda.

The book is old news now - I have to fix my profile. I'm working on another to be called "Forty-Four Fabulous Funnies." But yes, I can remember getting the first book in the mail - very exciting!

Thanks for the great review.

Steve

reply by livelylinda on 01-Feb-2019

Catchy title!

Comment from Chrissy710

Excellent

Hi Steve A lovely sonnet that tells of a happy home is filled with love not possessions to make one happy. Yoir meter and rhyme was easy to read and flowed nicely when spoken outloud. Good luck in the contest should poll highly Cheers Christine

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2019

Thanks, Chrissy - glad you enjoyed my trip down this rather romantic road!

Steve

Comment from Sally Law

Excellent

A beautiful sonnet and a fine entry for the contest. I don't blame you for wanting your sweet abode over the palaces of gold.
My best to you and in the contest,
Sally :+)

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2019

Sally, thanks so much for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from Debra White

Excellent

Hello Steve :)
This is beautifully and smoothly written.
Artful use of enjambment to keep your sonnet flowing. Nice touches of alliteration throughout and then again boldly in the ending couplet. Lovely presentation also.
Everyone who reads this will love the subject matter, so it will appeal to the widest of audiences. I wish you well in the contest!
All the best, Debra :)

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2019

Thanks, Debra.

Yes, this is not one where you have to puzzle over the meaning. Let's hope the judges appreciate the simpler things in life.

Steve

Comment from tbacha58

Excellent

But oh, our home is bright and brave and bold;
I would not trade for palaces of gold.

What a beautiful love poem was writing about that beautiful home to live with your chosen bride. Loved the picture of your home, which is filled with flowers and love. You should win, it is so well described. Terry

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2019

Thanks, terry. I appreciate your never-failing positivity about my poems!

Steve