Native Tears
My tiny drum circle49 total reviews
Comment from dmt1967
This poem makes me think of a man alone banging a drum to be heard over the many voices in his head. I can relate to that and hear you. This is a great poem and thank you for sharing.
  |
This poem makes me think of a man alone banging a drum to be heard over the many voices in his head. I can relate to that and hear you. This is a great poem and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2019
Comment from TPAC
Super insight, pleasing to hear the drums have been heard, given time understood to come. I found this write profound in stated declaration with thought-provoking concepts. All in my opinion.
 |
Super insight, pleasing to hear the drums have been heard, given time understood to come. I found this write profound in stated declaration with thought-provoking concepts. All in my opinion.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2019
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Arriving in a new land there is always a sort of land grab mentality until things settle down, a well thought out piece, I have a suggestion for the 5th stanza, 9th line: 'and those who wake', it's just a suggestion, love Dolly x
|
Arriving in a new land there is always a sort of land grab mentality until things settle down, a well thought out piece, I have a suggestion for the 5th stanza, 9th line: 'and those who wake', it's just a suggestion, love Dolly x
Comment Written 29-Jan-2019
Comment from phill doran
Hello to you
I do not recall that we have 'met' before? I am very pleased to have bumped into you. This is a lovely piece of writing.
Employing the 'noble savage' is an old game: it is refreshing to read something directed more to the sell-out or the 'axe handle'. It is good to explore all sides of a situation.
There are some excellent lines here, and while I am loathed to quote your own text back at you "like smoke from a feather" is not just descriptive it is culturally appropriate too. Very exact. Those who are woke but sleep not...also, very good.
The rhyming creates a very easy and steady pace for the reader. It is actually a complex subject but in keeping it straightforward you are making your thoughts and impressions accessible when many writers would veer to the obscure to add the perception of 'weight' to their pondering.
I started off with a five, but in reviewing and of necessity reading and re-reading, I am going the whole hog.
Well done that man, for I am tight with my stars: I shall look out for you going forward.
cheers
phill
|
Hello to you
I do not recall that we have 'met' before? I am very pleased to have bumped into you. This is a lovely piece of writing.
Employing the 'noble savage' is an old game: it is refreshing to read something directed more to the sell-out or the 'axe handle'. It is good to explore all sides of a situation.
There are some excellent lines here, and while I am loathed to quote your own text back at you "like smoke from a feather" is not just descriptive it is culturally appropriate too. Very exact. Those who are woke but sleep not...also, very good.
The rhyming creates a very easy and steady pace for the reader. It is actually a complex subject but in keeping it straightforward you are making your thoughts and impressions accessible when many writers would veer to the obscure to add the perception of 'weight' to their pondering.
I started off with a five, but in reviewing and of necessity reading and re-reading, I am going the whole hog.
Well done that man, for I am tight with my stars: I shall look out for you going forward.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 29-Jan-2019
Comment from kahpot
English names one would hope to honor upon their arrival and acceptance into a foreign land, their religions allowed, yet they deny ours, if not deny they try to overrun, displaced we may have at their request, I could go on and on, an exceptional read and message, very well written****kahpot
|
English names one would hope to honor upon their arrival and acceptance into a foreign land, their religions allowed, yet they deny ours, if not deny they try to overrun, displaced we may have at their request, I could go on and on, an exceptional read and message, very well written****kahpot
Comment Written 29-Jan-2019
Comment from meeshu
This is a very good piece, consistent rhymes, good phrasing with great rhythm and a powerful message. who is the traitor? Sitting Bull is long dead. good piece, Clockwise..........................meeshu
|
This is a very good piece, consistent rhymes, good phrasing with great rhythm and a powerful message. who is the traitor? Sitting Bull is long dead. good piece, Clockwise..........................meeshu
Comment Written 29-Jan-2019
Comment from royowen
A very sombre and a fine free verse tinged with sadness, articulte expression, skilfully crafted for the best language in this communicative narrative, an excellent poem my friend, well done, blessings, Roy
|
A very sombre and a fine free verse tinged with sadness, articulte expression, skilfully crafted for the best language in this communicative narrative, an excellent poem my friend, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 29-Jan-2019
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Native Tears", is an extremely well-written and deftly descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
"Native Tears", is an extremely well-written and deftly descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2019
Comment from nomi338
When Europeans come to the United? States something happens to them, they immediately throw off their gratitude at arriving and they take on a personality of pure greed. They instinctively start believing that they are somehow entitled to whatever they can grab and claim as their own. This means of course that some native person must relinquish another piece of themselves. It is a real shame that the native inhabitants of this land are disenfranchised by newcomers who show their thanks by taking as much as they can and then trying to deny entrance to the next wave of newcomers.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
When Europeans come to the United? States something happens to them, they immediately throw off their gratitude at arriving and they take on a personality of pure greed. They instinctively start believing that they are somehow entitled to whatever they can grab and claim as their own. This means of course that some native person must relinquish another piece of themselves. It is a real shame that the native inhabitants of this land are disenfranchised by newcomers who show their thanks by taking as much as they can and then trying to deny entrance to the next wave of newcomers.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2019
