Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 471 "Strong Winds"Small and Specialty Poems
14 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
Well, what a lovely idea... to name this Merritrains. I'm honored! But... aside from that, I really liked this poem, both form and theme. It has much symbolism and excellent rhymes (one exception might be line four in stanzas one and two... bereft isn't considered a rhyme for bereft. I would substitute the word "adrift" in the first stanza because I love slant rhymes, but you might have a better idea.) ... and also good flow. It certainly goes will with your photograph, which is quite beautiful. All things considered, I loved the poem and loved your name for the form. Thank you!
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2019
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Well, what a lovely idea... to name this Merritrains. I'm honored! But... aside from that, I really liked this poem, both form and theme. It has much symbolism and excellent rhymes (one exception might be line four in stanzas one and two... bereft isn't considered a rhyme for bereft. I would substitute the word "adrift" in the first stanza because I love slant rhymes, but you might have a better idea.) ... and also good flow. It certainly goes will with your photograph, which is quite beautiful. All things considered, I loved the poem and loved your name for the form. Thank you!
Comment Written 29-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2019
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Thank you Missmerri. I am delighted that you like the name. It will go into my book of formats, just as described. The use of bereft was actually intentional.Your analysis is correct. I did it for Pantygynt's class on rhyme to generate discussions of whether or not it is acceptable. I like your suggestion of adrift as a slant rhyme and may substitute that in later. I am delighted with the stars.
Comment from meeshu
well done, Treischel. your message sings loud and clear to those who can listen. the form is very intriguing, I must try one. MM is certainly a talent.......................meeshu
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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well done, Treischel. your message sings loud and clear to those who can listen. the form is very intriguing, I must try one. MM is certainly a talent.......................meeshu
Comment Written 29-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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Thank you meeshu. I agree that she is. Glad you liked thed poem and format.
Comment from Dean Kuch
I so wish I had a six to award you for this phenomenal poem, Tom.
But I went through 'em all faster than a handkerchief in a hurricane this week.
And, just as our world today is experiencing massive upheaval on a grand scale, so, too, is Mother Nature. Tidal waves and tsunami. Volcanic eruptions and wild fires.
These are very scary times we're living in today.
I enjoyed reading your piece written in Merritrains.
Well penned and very unique!
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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I so wish I had a six to award you for this phenomenal poem, Tom.
But I went through 'em all faster than a handkerchief in a hurricane this week.
And, just as our world today is experiencing massive upheaval on a grand scale, so, too, is Mother Nature. Tidal waves and tsunami. Volcanic eruptions and wild fires.
These are very scary times we're living in today.
I enjoyed reading your piece written in Merritrains.
Well penned and very unique!
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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Thank you Dean. Yes they are scary indeed.I smiled at you little whirlwind to underline the themes.
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The pleasure's all mine, Tom.
You're very welcome.
~Dean
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing an example of "Merritrains"--a form with which I was not familiar. As usual, I enjoyed your photograph and your rhymes. Your social commentary is especially compelling. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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Thank you for sharing an example of "Merritrains"--a form with which I was not familiar. As usual, I enjoyed your photograph and your rhymes. Your social commentary is especially compelling. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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Thank you Joan. i enjoyed using that new form of Missmerri's. I had already decided to on using it and even laid out the outline in my notebook. I then went looking for an image to help me come up with a Muse. When I saw that photo, it gave me my theme.
Comment from dragonpoet
This poem give clear images of effects of natural disasters and also brings in man made disasters causes by terrorism. All are forms of upheaval.
Keep writing.
dp
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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This poem give clear images of effects of natural disasters and also brings in man made disasters causes by terrorism. All are forms of upheaval.
Keep writing.
dp
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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Thank you Dragan Poet. You certainly got the gist of it. I appreciate the review and comments.
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You're welcome. Glad I got your intended meaning
Enjoy you day
dragon
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about the chaos in the world. Each time when it seems there is a kind of compromise between the leaders another bombshell burst open on the pathway to destruction.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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A very well-written poem about the chaos in the world. Each time when it seems there is a kind of compromise between the leaders another bombshell burst open on the pathway to destruction.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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Thank you Sandra. Seems to be the same everywhere. One never knows if your land,or possessions, is/are going to be taken away by the government these days.
Comment from patcelaw
Tom, this is a wonderful read. I am intrigued by the format and the rhyming scheme. May your week be blessed with things peaceful, hopeful and restful. . Patricia
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
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Tom, this is a wonderful read. I am intrigued by the format and the rhyming scheme. May your week be blessed with things peaceful, hopeful and restful. . Patricia
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
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Thank you Patricia. I hope you try one sometime.
Comment from Pantygynt
I commented on this form when I reviewed Adonna's poem the other day, saying that I believed it unique and how much I liked it. I left it to yo to formalise it with anappropriate name. You do that sort of thing so well.
As to content this is definitely a case of the winds of change blowing around the world and appropriate use of the form.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
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I commented on this form when I reviewed Adonna's poem the other day, saying that I believed it unique and how much I liked it. I left it to yo to formalise it with anappropriate name. You do that sort of thing so well.
As to content this is definitely a case of the winds of change blowing around the world and appropriate use of the form.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
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Thank you Jim. I hope she likes my name for it. I liked the whirlwind patterns that it creates. I thought you might comment on my use of the word "bereft" twice, as it might come up in you rhyming class as to it that allowable, and if so, when and how.
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I felt the repetition justifiable in amongst the windblown chaos of this one.
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My thoughts are that all rhyme is a type of repetition. The Sestina is one example of this. It would be bad form to use the same word repeatedly within the same stanza, unless the format called for it. But an occasional, separated by stanza, and among several other rhymes would be as acceptable as a near rhyme. Not great rhyming, but acceptable.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A richly worded piece and I enjoyed the sentiments. We are suvivors of chaotic scenes and this form is perfect for the subject. Altogether a pleasing and clever presentation, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
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A richly worded piece and I enjoyed the sentiments. We are suvivors of chaotic scenes and this form is perfect for the subject. Altogether a pleasing and clever presentation, love Dolly x
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
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Thank you Dolly. I am glad you liked the poem and the format.
Comment from AnnieDawn
I love how creative you have been with this poem. It was a nice touch to have you explain what you have done in creating your own rhyme scheme. You have a gift and I hope to read more of your work in the future. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
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I love how creative you have been with this poem. It was a nice touch to have you explain what you have done in creating your own rhyme scheme. You have a gift and I hope to read more of your work in the future. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
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Thank you so much AnnieDawn. I am appreciate your review and comments. The encouragement is well received. The stars skarkle in my eyes.
